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Date: October 28, 2022
Ultimately, I’m sorry, but it’s still her body. She is the gestation portion of this. Unless you guys have a written agreement that says no child support, no custody, no interference in the child’s life you’re on the hook when you have sex with her. There are arrangements do that no custody no child support know nothing and they’re totally valid.
Read your patient labeling that come with every pack of pills. It tells you exactly what to do if you miss pills and what the impact of missed pills are.
Typically you can get pregnant in the situation you describe.
Agreed, ive just been holding back tears cause its naked to know my lifes been a lie
You should never outright ask or beg someone you don’t even know to get an abortion. Wtf is wrong with you?
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If he asks say no. Do you want to spend your life with someone who makes his affection, participation, whatever dependent on whether or not you do what he tells you to?
This will sound harsh, but I mean it with love and compassion: Your marriage cannot be saved.
Your husband is trying to push you to do something you don't want and are not at all comfortable with. Despite being clear about that line, he continues to push. This person, who has already cheated on you, and uses your marriage as a leverage tool to get what HE wants, does not respect you and your feelings.
“Maybe some day” is not a promise. And even if it was, you have the right to change your mind about what you want to do or not do with your body.
This is NOT your fault. You deserve better than this. You deserve better than someone who only wants to emotionally manipulate you for their needs, and doesn't pay attention to yours.
He wants a marriage where he can fuck around however he wants. You want a partnership where you care and respect each other. You guys aren't compatible.
Leave this man. Let him go find some gross-ass people to bang him. You can find someone who respects you.
Sometimes I feel that way, but occasionally he does bring up how sad he feels that he has no close friends. In those delicate moments it feels wrong to tell him “well you did refuse the last 5 times I suggested a double date/movie night/etc”. Sometimes I think he doesn’t want to feel like a third wheel by becoming friends with people I am already close friends with, if that makes sense.
They are emotionally manipulating you.
Good parents love and support you even if they think your making dumb choices.
If you want to be equally manipulative tell them that you guess they will never meet any grandchildren.
She was 14 at the time. Hardly a woman.
It’s quite often a choice that younger teens make because they are experiencing issues at home and so they look for love and affection in other places.
I don’t think OP should be judged for choosing bad boys almost 10 years ago. Otherwise it’s the equivalent of saying people don’t develop or grow over time.
Definitely chalk this one up to experience and move on. But there’s nothing to feel guilty/embarrassed about.
ANY OTHER men? At all? Huh
Do you think a woman with a short attention span who keeps putting off a 14 paragraph proposal letter is romantic? For her ?
Yeah it happens, and it's not like she is moving to a 3rd world country. Wish here luck, and hope everything works out for her to be happy.
Let your poor fiancé find someone who isn’t pining over another, unavailable woman. She deserves someone who cares for her the way you care for Amy. You need to work on your commitment issues so you don’t treat people this way.
Reported for what exactly ? It's not like she offered the whole couples councelling unprompted … Not only did OP give indications of a potential desire to divorce , but we also have no clue what the husband is actually telling her in their private sessions . Not even OP knows.
It i's abusive. I just wanted to clarify that's what I read.
You called her a liar in front of other people because she uses hyperbole, a recognized literary device, in telling stories. Her reaction was fairly mild given that. YOU are the one behaving drastically in that situation, not her, since you are equating exaggerating for comedic effect with lying. Since you obviously don't like your wife, maybe let her find someone who'd appreciate her amusing stories instead of getting pissy because they aren't completely accurate. ?
So there are a couple things I'd like to point out. 30% of men who have their children tested, find that they are raising someone else's child. No that doesn't mean that 30% of men are unknowingly raising someone else's child, that number is between 3-5%. It shows that men don't get tests done without a good reason. Also note, that also doesn't mean that only 30% are cheaters, just that only 30% got pregnant. I would love to see the numbers of cheaters, but that can't really be known.
Something else to consider, how sure are you that the baby you came home with is the one that came out? Yes it's not as bad as it used to be. But I've heard enough horror stories about it that I would want to be sure. The day I trust a person not to screw up a foolproof system is the day I die.
All that said, dude was an asshole. Instead of talking to his wife, he went behind her back, with the support of his ex. That dude needs a fucking kick up the arse.
This is an issue I have actually discussed with my wife, and I want to do a ancestry/23& me, or whatever the one is that I'm on test for our baby after it is born. Mostly because my entire family is on there and they would love to see their grandchild. But also because I want to make sure we got the right baby. Yes I am paranoid sometimes.
She for the streets
I'd like to echo the “adopt her” position. She won't have to travel between schools anymore. I'm pretty sure any judge worth their salt would grant you custody of your other child if in a divorce you ask for a bio kid and a bonus kid. Your wife would be in a Catch-22. She would either have to fight for both children or neither because what court would split siblings with such a close relationship? And what parent would ask for one and not the other? That alone would make an official pause.
You are an amazing parent. Thank you for making sure your children grow from love.
Anybody who gives an ultimatum deserves to lose what they are trying to hold over you. This is manipulation and she should be the one cut out if she doesnt drop the ultimatum. Its fine to set boundaries like nit talking about your life with him but reasonable boundaries
So you’re fine wasting her time and younger years while you have one foot out the door? Just break up with her.
Not likely. I left the city last year so I would just go to bang it out three or four times. Probably just to stay a day or two; nothing long-term.
Depends on if you gave him the underwear.
If yes, then sweet, if not then kinda a bit creepy.
Now if he said he cuddles a teddy with your T-shirt on or something similar, then sweet regardless of if you gave him the T-shirt etc.
How do you know?
Thank you for being honest.
Shame on you. Leave your ex alone.
No, you're not being crazy. You are being controlling and out of pocket. He's your boyfriend not your child. He does not have to show you his phone, it's his property. You are not allowed to search through it every time you become paranoid and delusional. Go to therapy, read books on how to have self control and be a good partner, and start treating him better.
Right. We were both at work at when he called, but his job has more flexable time.
There’s so much offfft here I don’t even know where to start but I’m sorry this has happened to you.
Holy fuck, I am so sorry you have to deal with that kind of ignorance
People cheat. It really sucks. There's no excuse, this was her choice and she chose to prioritize sex with her boss over your heart, your relationship, and the possibility of a family together. It's very hot to comprehend how someone we loved and trusted could be so cruel and heartless. And so stupid to destroy what we could have. But it just keeps happening every day. Someone people just don't have enough integrity with themselves to live in integrity with others. It is what it is.
But don't waste your time trying to figure her out. Girl's got issues. Don't waste your time or energy on revenge on either of them either. The best thing you can do is just get her out of your life as cleanly and quickly as possible. Get your own place, separate accounts, divide up your stuff, thank your lucky stars you're not married yet, get a paternity test so you know whether being a single dad will be part of your plans, and put as much time, energy, and money as you can into your own healing. Healing looks different for everyone. Therapy seems to be a favorite resource for many. There's also dancing, hiking, gardening, painting, writing, cooking, making music, making art, and finding lots of ways to move your body. Sometimes you also just need to binge watch a silly show for 6 days straight, eating nothing but chocolate cake. Not great as a lifestyle, but healing takes many forms as it progresses. Trust your own process, let that silly fool go, enjoy your adventure in fatherhood on your own if that is what's to be, or if it's not yours, enjoy getting to be completely free from her.
This isn't your fault. You're not stupid for trusting. She's stupid for breaking your trust. You deserve better. She deserves what she gets, she chose this. The pain won't last forever. You got this.
Wtf? Why would you block him??
What exactly do you think I was trying to say here? I have a feeling that what you took from my posts is not what I meant.
Run from her as fast as you can. It was not a mistake. She made a conscious effort to continually fuck him while you were gone. She is not remorseful but upset at being caught. Who will she be having sex with until the marriage?
I think the worst part of this situation is that it doesn't feel like he takes my illnesses seriously. My eyes are bloodshot red and covered in crusty goop, but in response to me asking him to unpack the dishwasher, he simply said “wash your hands first and then you can unpack it yourself.” It's the lack of empathy that worries and hurts me.
The red flag is the age gap, not the son.
You're too young for that big of an age gap. If you were 40 and he was 55, the 15 years wouldn't matter so much, but at 22, there's too much discrepancy in the power dynamics, life experience and personal goals. I recommend you turn him down.
What’s her reason?
I think that's why my wife suggested it in the first place. She's also never been with anyone else, and I think she feels a bit more comfortable given the fact that it's her best friend and someone she trusts more than anyone else.
it’s cool, i’m just really confused at why some of the comments here are stigmatizing people with personality disorders instead of encouraging them to go to therapy and develop alternative to antisocial skills, when evidence shows that further negative stigmatization leads to lower rates of treat enemy and thus higher rates of antisocial behavior
This is not normal. He should absolutely see a doctor, cardiologist.