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Nicole, 35 y.o.
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Date: October 13, 2022
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He is ready to move to the west coast with me but told me I need to get rid of one cat since he wants to get a cat of his own.
What an asshole
Don't even date this guy.
He betrayed your trust, and now he is asking you to get rid of your pet to make room for a pet he doesn't even have?
This is not a good guy. This is a bad guy. Stop dating this bad guy, and definitely do not let him move in with you.
I want to add..OP make sure you are fully in control of your birth control. You don't want an accident with this creep
If you are not willing to raise you kids in strict adherence to his faith, it ain't going to work.
Cut your losses now and move on.
Oof, this is a hot one. Thankfully you got back in contact. If he's asking that question, he's probably done the math in his head and is already wondering. So that might help you.
I'm thinking this is one of those cases where you just blurt it out and go from there. YMMV but I can't think of a way to soft pedal that one,
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Do not agree to have kids if you don't want them. Honestly you're too old for this shit. Break up. If she wants to be dumb and have kids while poor and alone, let her do that with someone else.
Wtf??? She just “went along with it??”
Almost like you’re trying to find a perfect partner and perfect relationship, and are trying to squash any imperfections in your mind. Theres always gonna be imperfections, so no doubt.. finding an answer to this wont alleviate your anxiety.
That being said, if you bring it up, you’ll seem crazy.
Id take a close hot look at your relationship and see if this is the person you wanna spend your life with and if you trust her or not. Nows the time to do it, regardless of the message. And if yoi want to, and trust her, id say drop it. If this is just a symptom of other problems, I’d drop her before youre too old.
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He spent the whole day gaslighting you… we need to communicate, but only in the way I want to communicate, I want your input, but only if it follows my ideology… idk what podcasts he's been getting into, but you need to gtf outta there. Now.
She already showed you she doesn't respect someone relationship
I don’t give a damn about the vows. Basic respect for one’s partner goes even after their death.
The problem is not him sleeping with someone. The problem is him sleeping with her SISTER. How often do I have to say this.
He feels guilty bc he knows his wife wouldn’t have been ok with it. He feels guilty bc he knows what he did was wrong. He feels guilty bc if the roles were reversed and it was his wife who did this, he would have never accepted it.
He wasn’t too drunk. He remembered every detail the next day. Does he sound like he was too drunk not to know the consequences of his actions? Also why should I be concerned about him being drunk. Did he say anything about feeling taken advantaged off? Being sexually assaulted? (On top of that both were drunk). Why should I make up my mind about something when Op himself doesn’t even feel this way. So stop reaching here just to portray OP as the victim here. He isn’t. Both him and the sister aren’t.
OP himself said himself ,,I think lionesses and 6 months of not addressing any sexual needs got the better of me” … definitely sounds like someone grieving
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I do not shower daily. I have had plenty of intimate partners and have never once received a complaint about my hygiene or odor. I keep myself clean in between by washing my face in the morning and at night, applying deodorant, and freshening up “down there” if I’m going to have sex. The rest of my skin doesn’t need daily refreshing. If I were more active, it would be a different story.
These aren't just concerning. These are all break up worthy and possibly illegal. This isn't giving the benefit of the doubt, this is being a doormat.
Tell them now! Tell your parents. This marriage won’t be healthy if he doesn’t get his shit together. If he doesn’t, DONT stay!
Based on what? People congratulated them about their engagement at the wedding. They announced the wedding date a week after. How long does OP and his wife expect the world to revolve around them?
I lied and said he did.
That's possessive, controlling and borderline creepy.
yes! really start the marriage off on the right foot with malicious pettiness! great advice here!
That's possessive, controlling and borderline creepy.
Statistics aside even, do you really see yourself happy with a child at this point in your life op? You were so confident about your decision and the only reason you're backing down now is because he wants it.
Would you be able to make a lifestyle change for this child if you canceled your appointment? You'd have to no matter what, and would you get the help and support you'd need from those around you (not just your partner).
Could you financially afford a child? I'm not saying you need to be rich, but you shouldn't suddenly have to get food stamps or pick between which bills to pay after having your child.
Could you be a mother to child with any sort of physical/mental disability, neurodivergency, or if your child was part of the LGBTQ+ community?
These are all questions you need to ask, plus more before you decide to have a child
If you think your understand or know me just by reading this post you are wrong. You are way too judgmental and you are talking about things you don’t understand (even though you’re so sure you do). Your intentions might be good but you are not helping the situation. Please do not comment on my post anymore.
Who is sexting then? I he doesn’t do it for his wife. Then who?
First you didn’t ask him to make comments on your body, just which one he liked.
I’m guessing he’s threatened by the outfits and is saying that to beat your self esteem in the dirt and he doesn’t have ti worry about you looking bomb as fuck in the outfits to other eyes.
He’s an ass.
You're taking back control of your life! Bet that feels good.
They are in the same friendgroup, OP said that.
He doesnt have much options – leave the friendgroup: stupid idea, finding friends is not easy – stay and be butthurt all the time: the friends will have enough, they will kick him out eventually – he can stay and try not to be butthurt. He doesnt need to be friendly-friend with her, he just have to accept that she is also there.
Also also – we really dont know what the girl thought or felt about the kiss. OP said it was deep and meaningful etc. Maybe for her it was just a drunk kiss and nothing more.