Having had my tubes tied, I can see the surgery scars every day of my life. There are 3 half-inch ones on my abdomen: one in the belly button and one on each side of my stomach. If she didn’t have a laparoscopic surgery, her scars would be even bigger. It’s not something you can forget.
I’m sorry she lied to you and took advantage. She sounds awful and you deserve better.
I totally believe that he should apologize to his coworker. If he does not see the need then that's a bigger issue.
Insofar as your concern about his possible sexual attraction to her, that's a separate issue. A good topic of discussion. You are betrothed to be married for life with this man. Always good to practice clear, honest, open, and vulnerable communication with each other.
I’m confused. Is he driving from Florida to Texas “constantly” to clean his mom’s house and take her dogs to the groomer while he lives with you in Florida and you do all the housework? Or does he live with his family in Texas?
You are the one being manipulative. You are trying to shame and embarrass her out if her natural personality. You seem neither to like her nor to care about how you are hurting her.
You are 30 years old. It’s time to think like an adult and quit projecting mommy and daddy onto your wife.
If you need to get help with this, get it. Otherwise, you are going to destroy your marriage and injure her irreparably.
So well put. Being pro choice is also about living with the consequences of that choice. A baby deserves stability…if you’re unemployed and have no place to call your own, then keeping the baby is a choice…but not a good one. Now OP really needs to step up and get some sort of income and housing ASAP
I’m confused how you would not know he’d swapped them – folic acid tablets are the size of horse tranquillisers. Also why do you need to put them in pill box? Contraception has the days of the week (or numbers) on the foil part. I’m not convinced this post is real – if it is leave him
No way… you married a stripper after 6 months and are in the military?! Did you buy a mustang at 23% interest too? You are a walking meme my dude! Let this be a lesson to you. But for real… this relationship was never going to work out. Figure out how to co-parent now before she destroys your life further.
The sitting in our shitty kitchen and we’re signing a prenup parts very much stand out to me.
OP you’re very fixated and bitter about the apartment. It is what it is, it is what it’s been since you met your fiancé. Nothing has changed except your entitlement to an asset he didn’t provide to you. You obviously feel some kind of way about both it, and the fact that he gave it to her as well as that he’s cutting off your access to that and future assets via the prenup. Obviously he didn’t sign a prenup with her.
He could have left the apartment to his daughter and you’d have zero right to it as well, you need to give up that you feel you should have the apartment. Focus on the fact that he’s decided you’re lesser than she is for whatever reason. You cannot fix that, where you live won’t fix it, getting married won’t fix it, having kids won’t fix it. You need to accept it or move on with your life. He’s a closed book to you and you need to make decisions about your future based on that.
Yeah I've seen it tons. I think it depends on the type of friendships tbh. Like people tend to have issues with some of the opposite genders, but not everyone. It really depends on why that is.
Okay so I just want to clarify a few things because the post was a little confusing. Are these the basic facts:
-Your boyfriend is a nationally ranked athlete -Because if that, he was busy -You were upset he wasn’t going to be able to spend your anniversary with you -He decided that he didn’t want to compete in this sport anymore, which is something you encouraged, but he is struggling with that choice -Because his situation changed and you are upset that he did end up spending the day with you
I am not clear on the info about his parents and how that relates to this situation, but it seems to me like you got exactly what you wanted, and your boyfriend is going through a difficult transition but you are upset because you didn’t get it on your terms.
If she is unfaithful to a “new level” then this really shouldn't even come as a surprise. This really only is a hit to his pride – it doesn't make him any less of a father and doesn't make her any less of a very very low quality person. Tell his son but not now. Wait until he is past adolescence. Also please ask him to speak with a professional – the military would like have people he can talk to. I don't think this is such an uncommon occurrence.
You took the test for yourself, not for him. without everyone else getting tested, you know nothing for sure. do not blow up your own world and those you love over something you do not have all the facts on. Hold your information until you have more of a reason to bring it up
In all seriousness tell him that it's not flattering on him, then figure out if it's worth fighting over.
As others have mentioned though if you're straight up losing attraction over his haircut then you may not have been all that attracted to him to begin with – I honestly think my wife could make even something as bad as a mullet look good (though her judgment is sound enough that I never have to find out if that's true or not)
It is very different for graduate school compared to undergraduate programs. Graduate school is a full time job (and then some, usually 80-90 hours a week). They are also typically much older than undergraduate students, 30 is not unusual at all.
Yeah, it basically went like that. We were just talking and drinking at his house., then we kissed which led to us sleeping to gether. Classic one thing led to another basically.
I have to find someone who is covered by my insurance. I can ask for a new therapist within the group I’m a part of but they just randomly assign you AND you have to tell your current therapist why you’re leaving them. It’s very anxiety inducing.
But I’m glad I’m at least in therapy. She’s been helpful.
You are not her dad or her boss, just a 17-year-old kid who has no business thinking he has a right to “not let” her wear a dress to a concert. What's wrong with wearing a dress to a concert? I only wear dresses and skirts, what am I doing wrong according to you?
UpdateMe!
Certainly sounds that way, huh
Having had my tubes tied, I can see the surgery scars every day of my life. There are 3 half-inch ones on my abdomen: one in the belly button and one on each side of my stomach. If she didn’t have a laparoscopic surgery, her scars would be even bigger. It’s not something you can forget.
I’m sorry she lied to you and took advantage. She sounds awful and you deserve better.
What was her job?
You said no, she needs to respect that or break off the relationship if it’s that important to her.
I honestly wouldn’t even lightly do any butt stuff, she might think it’s you giving in an inch and then next thing you know, you’re getting pegged.
Based on the vague post and OP's comments I see a very high potential for an r/insaneparents crossover here
Should probably work on not hating her parents.
Perfect! You can even lean into it! “You know guys, for my worst birthday ever, at least I'm having fun!”
And women loves dudes who can snowboard. I know that isn't where you are at now, but next winter…
I totally believe that he should apologize to his coworker. If he does not see the need then that's a bigger issue.
Insofar as your concern about his possible sexual attraction to her, that's a separate issue. A good topic of discussion. You are betrothed to be married for life with this man. Always good to practice clear, honest, open, and vulnerable communication with each other.
I’m confused. Is he driving from Florida to Texas “constantly” to clean his mom’s house and take her dogs to the groomer while he lives with you in Florida and you do all the housework? Or does he live with his family in Texas?
What if the shoe is in the other foot? What would they feel if the parents of your bf are the wealthier one and have the same view?
Thanks
Wow call a woman who’s upset because her life is destroyed a narcissist
You are the one being manipulative. You are trying to shame and embarrass her out if her natural personality. You seem neither to like her nor to care about how you are hurting her.
You are 30 years old. It’s time to think like an adult and quit projecting mommy and daddy onto your wife.
If you need to get help with this, get it. Otherwise, you are going to destroy your marriage and injure her irreparably.
Considering that the guy gave your wife green light, you should tell the guy’s wife.
So well put. Being pro choice is also about living with the consequences of that choice. A baby deserves stability…if you’re unemployed and have no place to call your own, then keeping the baby is a choice…but not a good one. Now OP really needs to step up and get some sort of income and housing ASAP
I’m confused how you would not know he’d swapped them – folic acid tablets are the size of horse tranquillisers. Also why do you need to put them in pill box? Contraception has the days of the week (or numbers) on the foil part. I’m not convinced this post is real – if it is leave him
Please, talk to a therapist and not to Reddit. You’re in desperate need.
No way… you married a stripper after 6 months and are in the military?! Did you buy a mustang at 23% interest too? You are a walking meme my dude! Let this be a lesson to you. But for real… this relationship was never going to work out. Figure out how to co-parent now before she destroys your life further.
Why continue the relationship. It sounds like you don’t respect her and barely like her. This doesn’t bode well for the future.
I think a better solution is you go ahead with the breakup and then figure out the custody issues.
If it’s bad now, it’s only going to be worse when there’s the extra hassle of the baby and she’s annoyed at not getting to be a SAHM.
The sitting in our shitty kitchen and we’re signing a prenup parts very much stand out to me.
OP you’re very fixated and bitter about the apartment. It is what it is, it is what it’s been since you met your fiancé. Nothing has changed except your entitlement to an asset he didn’t provide to you. You obviously feel some kind of way about both it, and the fact that he gave it to her as well as that he’s cutting off your access to that and future assets via the prenup. Obviously he didn’t sign a prenup with her.
He could have left the apartment to his daughter and you’d have zero right to it as well, you need to give up that you feel you should have the apartment. Focus on the fact that he’s decided you’re lesser than she is for whatever reason. You cannot fix that, where you live won’t fix it, getting married won’t fix it, having kids won’t fix it. You need to accept it or move on with your life. He’s a closed book to you and you need to make decisions about your future based on that.
Yeah I've seen it tons. I think it depends on the type of friendships tbh. Like people tend to have issues with some of the opposite genders, but not everyone. It really depends on why that is.
Nice victim blaming.
Okay so I just want to clarify a few things because the post was a little confusing. Are these the basic facts:
-Your boyfriend is a nationally ranked athlete -Because if that, he was busy -You were upset he wasn’t going to be able to spend your anniversary with you -He decided that he didn’t want to compete in this sport anymore, which is something you encouraged, but he is struggling with that choice -Because his situation changed and you are upset that he did end up spending the day with you
I am not clear on the info about his parents and how that relates to this situation, but it seems to me like you got exactly what you wanted, and your boyfriend is going through a difficult transition but you are upset because you didn’t get it on your terms.
If she is unfaithful to a “new level” then this really shouldn't even come as a surprise. This really only is a hit to his pride – it doesn't make him any less of a father and doesn't make her any less of a very very low quality person. Tell his son but not now. Wait until he is past adolescence. Also please ask him to speak with a professional – the military would like have people he can talk to. I don't think this is such an uncommon occurrence.
You took the test for yourself, not for him. without everyone else getting tested, you know nothing for sure. do not blow up your own world and those you love over something you do not have all the facts on. Hold your information until you have more of a reason to bring it up
Read my comment again
Entirely depends on the haircut.
In all seriousness tell him that it's not flattering on him, then figure out if it's worth fighting over.
As others have mentioned though if you're straight up losing attraction over his haircut then you may not have been all that attracted to him to begin with – I honestly think my wife could make even something as bad as a mullet look good (though her judgment is sound enough that I never have to find out if that's true or not)
It is very different for graduate school compared to undergraduate programs. Graduate school is a full time job (and then some, usually 80-90 hours a week). They are also typically much older than undergraduate students, 30 is not unusual at all.
Then I’m maybe not the person i think i am ?
Are you going to college? Did you finish school?
This sounds like a mess and you don't have to do what your family says.
we started dating when i was 18 i rounded up the 2 years lol a 19 and 22 isnt a big gap
Well, before we throw in the towel… How about we try some more direct communication and maybe an adjustment?
I don't know how to explain this without it coming off a bit harsh. But there is a thing as being too close (smothering).
When I read this type of dynamic:
I got a little upset and said I wanted to sleep on the phone together like we usually do.
I personally find that a bit overwhelming in relationships. I know its a cute thing to do, but it can be a lot.
People need space in a relationship. And that may be what's happening here.
So, I would maybe start there?
Fuck BOB
Yeah, it basically went like that. We were just talking and drinking at his house., then we kissed which led to us sleeping to gether. Classic one thing led to another basically.
I’m working on it.
I have to find someone who is covered by my insurance. I can ask for a new therapist within the group I’m a part of but they just randomly assign you AND you have to tell your current therapist why you’re leaving them. It’s very anxiety inducing.
But I’m glad I’m at least in therapy. She’s been helpful.
You are not her dad or her boss, just a 17-year-old kid who has no business thinking he has a right to “not let” her wear a dress to a concert. What's wrong with wearing a dress to a concert? I only wear dresses and skirts, what am I doing wrong according to you?
Why don’t you make plans to go clubbing with your girlfriend?
Say “hey next Saturday do you want to go bar hopping with me?”