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squirt [498 tokens remaining]
Date: October 7, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
squirt [498 tokens remaining]
Hello /u/AgileAbbreviations11,
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she is free to work as many hours as he is then
I really don't think you're understanding how much you've genuinely traumatized your family. like textbook definition not internet buzzword TRAUMATIZED your family. you're still talking about how hard this is for you and what you need as if it's literally anybodys responsibility beyond a paid therapist at all. you are so insanely lucky you're even able to see your children seeing as you destroyed their chance at going to college. that's their future. their lives. what you did was the equivalent of a father stealing all the pain pills from his young child with cancer. or getting the house raided at gun point at 3am for selling dope. this isn't like a small booboo. you did an evil thing to the people who loved and trusted you because of your addiction and you're still asking them for things and talking about how its all unfair and confusing and why hasnt she given you a straight answer yet doesnt she understand how very hot these mixed messages are for me the general rule of thumb for addicts is take the amount of time you spent in active addiction from that very first use and double it. that's when you should expect people to start trusting you again as long as you've been in recovery the whole time. sometimes even longer. they may allow you access to them and their lives but you can't be surprised if you have to have a camera pointed at you and your computer if you expect to live there in that time. my father was a gambling addict and went through the worst of it when I was very young, like kindergarten to third grade and I cannot stress to you enough how fucked up my childhood was because of it and how even to this day as a grown adult none of us actually trust him.
Question: is your wife constantly stressed, under pressure, with everything on her shoulders while you just work and play with toddler when home, being the fun dad? Because it sounds like this started after the end of her maternity leave, when she started juggling work, toddler and possibly having to shoulder all the little issue of family life (it’s her arranging appointments with doctors, childcare, vaccines, dentist, playdates, birthday parties, dinners, sorting the house, doing the grocery shopping, cleaning, etc). She sounds burn out.
My opinion of this because I remember having a similar brake up once and I am the guy.
What you said stung and he still feels for you but he needs to move on. He has lots of conflicts about it and the easiest way to deal with it is just to cut you out. Everything because he needs time and space to get over the relationship you shared.
Find him in 6 months or something and he will probably change and maybe enjoy saying hello but it will always be awkward between you and it might just be best if you use this as a chance to move on with yourself.
🙂
its ok, you might have the opportunity to fall madly in love with someone else soon and you should allow yourself to do that and not be stuck on that other guy
Thank you for this, I think you’re right in that we have built an amazing life together and it’s unfair to have my resentment and uncertainties come in and ruin it all. I just need to let go of the past and accept it for what it is and look at his actions without all my personal baggage attached.