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Date: October 6, 2022
yeah..thats what i think too 🙂 i think its just early and im overthinking
That’s not how words work
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Why does anyone feel they need to get married at all these days? Marriage puts a price on love and true love is priceless
Should you note that in a journal or something so that you have evidence in case of future custody issues that he is still being inappropriate? What a gross human.
I talked to him before he got into the shower.
His response was “I have been ignoring you because what you said cut deep. Not only because you brought up something I don't know if I can control but you also know the root cause of it. I simply am at a loss for words. I still love you but I don't know how to proceed from here.”
I asked him if he was seeing another girl or thinking of divorce and he said:
“I would never cheat on a person, I know how painful that is 1st hand and wouldn't want that for anyone else. I'm not currently thinking about a divorce but I would seriously like us to go to therapy and for you to work on your outbursts.”
Sexy lingerie, edible undies, tasty body gels/chocolates there are all kinds of things to explore without having to compromise your morals on. Do some research. 🙂
If someone shoved their fingers into their foreskin and forced me to smell it, I’d kick them in the nads and just ghost them, personally.
You did the right thing by breaking up with her because she sounds too immature to be in a relationship. I strongly advise you let your mutual friends know the full reason behind the breakup before she or her friend drag you through the mud and make you out to be the bad guy.
Absolutely not. End it and move on.
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No idiot husband buying cheap condoms or poking holes for “accidental” pregnancy.
Also male condoms only have true efficient rate of 82% so she would still need to use another contraception.
Yeah, but he changed his mind 3 months in. He's known this for 21 months. Almost the entire 2 years they've been together now. And she's been spending her time building a relationship with someone she THOUGHT was on the same page. But he's not…and he's had almost two years to tell her this.
If it doesn't work out between them, and marriage is a deal- breaker issue between them…then he's just wasted almost 2 years of her life on a mirage. THAT's what will feel like a lie. Holding back that information from her while they build a life together, for two years!… meanwhile he's hanging onto what could be a secret dealbreaker card. Surprise! Game over. Ouch.
If you online your life she does not get to continue to use you. Can you tell us why your father can not help with your brother? Can you tell us why your father is not her support? She does not want you to change your roll as her emotional support and she is going to work hard to get you to get back in line with her parentifcation if you!
If “keeping the peace” requires you to betray yourself, I am pretty sure that is not peace and I am pretty sure it is not worth keeping.
Perhaps it is time to try: “I am okay with your disappointment in me” Rachael Mary Stafford
She has been trying for 20 years. Dear god man.
I know. As much as it wouldn’t be ideal I’d rather not hide it, I posted it, I stand by it. If he sees it he can talk to me like a real man and be honest for once.
Look, I get it. You like her and you can't help it. And you said you won't act on your feelings, which is good.
Look at it this way. It doesn't matter if you consider Y to be more of a friend. Doesn't matter if X is struggling with school and you think he's a bum. Doesn't matter if she's flirting with you- if she is, that's not something you should be happy about. If a person flirt's with their SO's friend, they will probably do the same with their next SO's friend. It's not a good thing to do. And even though she vents to you, the fact that they're having relationship difficulties isn't your problem to solve.
Regarding X, I think you're judging him too harshly. 24-25 (or even older) is an age where a lot of people struggle and try to figure their shit out. And who knows if all the shit Y (who talks about her partner behind his back and possibly flirts with his friends) is even true? Have you heard his side? Not that you need to- again, it's not your problem to solve.
As you yourself suggested, it would be despicable for you to make a move and you claim you won't, so what else is there?
My advice would be not to overthink it. Let it play out. If they break up, and if you don't value X's friendship much, nothing would be stopping you from asking out Y. But is a person who airs her partner's dirty laundry and flirts with other people really what you're looking for?
Good luck, man.
Thank you ! Maybe she is using me, but I don't feel like she doesn't love me, we had our good times but mostly bad ones. What would she gain by using me ?
Classic abusive behaviour.
Why should you care what an abuser says about you? All of those words are just a control tactic to MAKE you feel bad- and every time he uses those types of terms you should laugh because it’s him being desperate and pathetic and trying to control you.
It’s good that he broke up with you, you deserve better.
You need to leave her alone and, if I'm honest, you're probably better off launching yourself into the sun.
I fought back against my rapist, I punched, I screamed, cred and begged and he didn't stop.
You are an absolute POS and you need to get absolutely fucked by every outsize creature in the world.
She didn't hide anything, despite you being convinced that this is all about you, she was trying to process it, not that you'd ever understand that, you raging wank stain of a thousand demons.
Go to hell and die there.
PS. I don't care if you're offended or upset, you blamed your ex-gf for being assaulted and MADE HER APOLOGISE BECAUSE YOUR FEELINGS WERE HURT? FUCK YOU. FUCK EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU.
True, but I'd assume you wouldn't scream at your partner and stir up so much trouble the entire family feels like they need to apologize.
Maybe the husband has a valid reason for being upset, but that doesn't excuse his poor behavior of how he expressed it.
If you're the person asking forgiveness- doesn't matter what the situation is- you are NOT the person who gets to dictate the terms on which any forgiveness is provided.
The only caveat is that the forgiver needs to be up front about what the terms are and how long they need, and if they don't know, they should say so. The person asking to be forgiven then has to decide if they're willing to stay in the relationship on those terms or not.
If your friend wasn't clear about it from the beginning it's understandable, but he should try being clear now that forgiveness requires that the wife be an open book until he feels like he can trust her again, however long that takes. If she thinks she's entitled to absolute trust and privacy just because she's said she's sorry, then she's not taking his forgiveness on the (entirely reasonable) terms it's being offered and the relationship is over.
No one is wrong per se. But it’s her money right? So why can’t she just go look at it? Or you two make a weekend out of it?
I don't think it's a problem but you obviously know yourself more than I would. Don't feel like you have to be extremely skinny because your bf's being a dick.
Fuck all that! If they get upset about him standing up for himself then they can get fucked. The only thing a bully understands is someone who lets them no that they are not one to be fucked with.
That’s too long to be driving in one day. He will be knackered. Would you rather he risk falling asleep at the wheel and killing himself for the sake of your suspicion?
That's awesome that you share that with your Dad!
OP, the fact is that your boyfriend is trash and will continue to throw you under the bus so he doesn’t have to admit responsibility for his action to his friends. Telling them “OP will be mad” is way different than the reality, which is “I tried to cheat on OP with whatever her name is so I’m going to make the better choice for my relationship and not go.”
I don’t blame you for being upset, but I say again: your boyfriend is trash and you should let whatever her name is have him.
As a woman I can understand her feelings. If you’re doing this while she’s at home then you’re choosing porn/your hand over her (In her mind) . That’s a blow to the self esteem. Might take her a bit. Just try and reassure her that you love her and are very attracted to her
It does hurt and it isn't fair. When my spouse cheated, all of 'our' friends knew, but none would tell me. To this day they think they didn't do anything wrong. He got to be with his mistress and have a life full of love and support. I was utterly alone. It hurt so very badly. It didn't help that we lived in Asia, I still do, halfway across the world from our families.
Don't get back together with this man. When your family suggest it, ask if they're going to pay the medical fees for the STIs he'll expose you to without your consent. Ask how they feel about you getting herpes or AIDs. And then walk away because they'll downplay your concerns and probably laugh at you.
Move on with your life as best you can, and understand from this that the only person in life who has your back is you.
It's not fair. It never will be fair. But this is the lesson cheaters teach the rest of us.
Great. When I go on a date with someone, it's with the intent of seeing if we're compatible enough for a relationship. She's moving on. You should too. And with the next person, try being more emotionally mature before you break their heart too.