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mrandmrsnxtdoor, 37 y.o.
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Date: November 14, 2022
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But her bringing out backup creeped me out.
I'm gonna be the devil's advocate here, not so much to change your mind, but to give you perspective.
I have seen people do this before. Usually, these people either have bad anxiety or some kind of sexual trauma that makes them adverse to any intimacy they haven't geared themselves up for mentally.
The bringing of her friend was meant to be a means of support for someone who likely didn't have the strength to speak up about their issues without some kind of emotional support,l, and it's like someone bringing an emotional support dog to the DMV.
The emotional supporter isn't there to threaten people or ward them off- though it's not unreasonable that someone would think it's a guard dog situation (like you did) and be put off about being close to them.
In reality? Yeah, you overreacted. It's entirely understandable and in reality, that level of insecurity in conveying her discomfort or her feelings, in general, can't be good for her going forward and would draw in abusive types like someone airdropped 20lbs of ground beef in wolf territory. It's best she DOES have a friend whos a momma bear until she learns to stand up for her feelings on her own, honestly.
Nonetheless, it's her hurdle to jump, and it's up to you if it's too much for you.
TLDR: In short, it is significantly more likely that she does like you has issues with intimacy likely related to tertiary causes, and didn't know how to say it to you without someone she knows cares about her best interest and is there to offer support.
It's understandable why it may have been too much and if this perspective doesn't change anything for you, then you probably should apologize for the reaction but still stay away.
You seem to be reading into something that wasn't said. I'm not pissed. It's an advice sub. This is an unbiased opinion. There's no emotion involved. I was advising OP to stop looking at everything from her POV and start using her empathy to see things from her boyfriend's perspective.
Oh definitely don’t be giving him anything until he does.
Be prepared that you might have to end the relationship.