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I like you:) [Multi Goal]
Date: October 10, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
I like you:) [Multi Goal]
You've only met the guy once, theres not much to lose!
Considering you agreed to not sleep with others unless you divorce then yes it’s cheating. Divorce and move on.
I take pics whenever I can and then save them to send to my husband. Sometimes he's having a rough day and I'll send him one to cheer him up. Other times I'll just send one because I feel like it.
I would say to be cautious that he actually wants that. It's entirely possible that all he wants is somebody to play video games with him.
Ops dad is obviously her old gym teacher. I mean if we are making shit up let's get creative
Dump and run man, if she needs to fuck other men to heal you dont want to be around her, you can do better. Dont ever take her back, if you do she will treat you like a doormate. She wants to go explore let her but dont take her back after she does it
Damn dude i went through this too in college, best thing you can do is tell your gf again how it makes you feel and if she doesnt respect that it might be best for you to leave. Or you can talk to the BFF and tell her to stop coming around and just be as polite as possible
You're making excuses now, I told you what to do. As for the gifts, throw them away.
[and, no, she's not going to want to have sex with you because you do more housework no matter what people here say.]
Well, that depends on how exhausted she is. If she is doing night feedings, housework, laundry, marketing, cooking, cleanup, bathing kids, and so on, it is possible that she is simply “tapped out” at the end of the day. Stepping up to do more household chores can provide some relief so there's more energy left at the end of the day.
I wasn't able to have kids but I also did most of the housework, marketing, bill-paying, cooking, laundry, yard work, car maintenance, etc. I was working a full-time job too. When I was put on mandatory overtime, working 80+ hours a week, I just couldn't any more. My husband got up for work after I left for work and I got home hours after he did. So he started doing more around the house which really helped.
I believe it's the medication.
Two of my friends had this problem, went back to the Doctor got their medication changed and they were back to normal.
When he did we were 19 and we werent even dating and i didnt know what to say. Now thinking back at all the times it hapoend to me i van understand hiw bad it is police are being called this time
She doesn’t want to come live with you. Pushing the issue, trying to convince her, waiting for her to change her mind… none of these things are worth doing. If you ware her down, the best you’ll get is a miserable person who doesn’t want to be there. If this relationship is worth it to you, you’re best bet is to lay off the pressure. Truthfully, 5 months is a short time to make someone your only social circle and actual support. That is what you’re asking from her, to move and have nobody but you in her life. That’s huge! If she needs more time to get comfortable with the idea. It doesn’t matter what plans you have when you’re asking a person to upend their life. They need to be ready.
You find people who make the effort and accept that the others don't.
youre weird
You dodged a bullet wtf
How did your girlfriend see your messages with Sarah?
Yes she's cheating on you.
I did it in front of family and it was wonderful. But again, like others have said, you gotta know her. I knew my wife would wanna share in that with her family, and I prepped them beforehand that I'd be asking her.
How exactly are you going to ask her?
Send her “options” by Brika (Sam Feldt Remix).
Specially the remix. Break up happily. That's what she wants
“I'm sorry I do think of other options”
See this is where I say you need to be deprogrammed, buddy.
Your parents can support you AND believe in you AT THE SAME TIME! Isn't that amazing?
They can say, “Son, now that you are a father, and we have so much extra money, we want to do something nice for you and your growing family so that you can have a nice life. We want to see you happy, secure, and successful, and we don't think that providing you with additional funds takes away from your achievements or value as a human being. Because we love you!”
See how easy that is? The opposite of being completely independent isn't being a fat guy in a basement. The opposite of being completely independent is having family that you can trust to help you when you need it, and sometimes even when you don't need it.
I know that you're a big strong man who provides for his family and has lots and lots of chest hair because big man provides for his family. You don't need permission to accept for help if and when it's offered, and you don't need permission to ask for help if and when it's needed, and you should be able to rely on that support from your family.
Neither of us are fat men living in our parents' basements. We are both homeowners with good careers that we carved out for ourselves. I am obviously not advocating for you to return to your mommy and start breastfeeding. I am saying that your insistence on independence isn't always the badge of honor you think it is.
Look on the bright side. None of these women you mention are likely to find what they're looking for while you still have a shot.
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A drunken mouth speaks a sober mind , your better off out of there you deserve better
While you're on your trial separation, get a lawyer and have everything in order
The first few months you should be resting and caring for the baby.
I mean technology is there so a daily video chat should be fine until the baby gets bigger. He can also take pics to send her.
To travel a hour or so to watch a baby sleep and poop while you're still healing is not reasonable.
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Gift advice live doesn’t really work, unfortunately. You know them best.
Do they feel strongly that they need to be celebrated more?
Ok, good. I understand how such an infatuation feels. You can't stop thinking about her. It's passion, hormones, whatever. Just remind yourself that nothing good could come out of it for her. Be brave and remind yourself that letting her go is the only decent choice, you'll be a better person for it.
I’m sorry, but an 18yo seeking a 40yo because they “prefer maturity” implies that they see themselves as mature, which can’t possibly be the case if they’re trying to fuck someone more than twice their age. That’s just bonkers.
So she ended up calling me on the 10th and she’s changed im not even sure I want her as a friend anymore saw her on New Years and I don’t like the person she’s become just not nice or caring at all like she used to be.
What kind of industrial toilet did she have at home growing up? And in the dorms for uni?
Sorry OP, no actual advice, but man, this is something new LOL
I’m not sure who is a bigger twat here, your husband or your “best friend.” Who does this ? And why has she saved a text from years ago just to show you after she gets divorced?? Saboteur!
It’s possible your husband has truly moved on from this fantasy with your friend from years ago, but unfortunately you are just discovering it now. Hope you guys can get some couples therapy.
Wishing you much healing OP ❤️? and some better quality friends.
Why don’t you just tip out one? It’s not that very hot.
Give her time and space. In a week, bring it up again, and say that while you want to give her time and space, you also want to be able to talk to her, see her regularly, and actually have a relationship with her.
See what she says about that.
If she’s open to finding a balance between what you both need, then work on it, and see if you can make the relationship work.
If she is not willing to do that, then give her all the space and time she wants. End it with her.
Oof. You messed up. 1. Don’t ever question her sexuality. If she’s identified as bisexual, that’s exactly what she is. It doesn’t matter how many men she sleeps with vs women, and as a bisexual, I can tell you: we face rampant judgment from the gay community when dating. Many, many women who identify as lesbian won’t even consider dating a bisexual. It’s not as easy developing a connection as you might think.
If you wanted to open the relationship and expected her to only date or mostly date women, you should have set that ground rule from the jump. It’s not her fault you’re now having regrets because she’s been with men.
Inviting other sexual and romantic partners into a relationship as a cure-all for varying sex drives seems like a pitfall. Instead of working on your relationship’s issues, you’ve literally invited countless issues into your relationship.
Sounds like you very hot sold your wife on it instead of accepting her initial answer. I’d be SHOCKED if she wasn’t resentful about the whole thing.
I really wish you could time travel and undo this mess and figure out a way to make your relationship work with one another, but I feel like you’ve crossed lines now you’ll never be able to cross back. Sorry, just seems like unless you have a bond to survive the ages (and it doesn’t sound like you do), I just don’t see this working out in anyone’s favor.
Hey, music and DJ here from Phoenix, AZ.
Welcome to dating an artist!
He has some valid points but maybe taking it a little far.
Yes, he does need to be his own promoter. That includes going to a lot of shows, supporting other artists, and mingling with the patrons (male and female, +)
There is only one way to build a local following and that is just exposure, being around. That will get you more gigs, allow you to meet more people and effectively grow your personal brand.
THAT BEING SAID.
I don’t know many girlfriends that would be totally chill with their BF giving random fans/girls rides to shows.
EDM is all about this PLUR life so everything is supposed to be chill and copasetic but I know from not being super into all the drugs and community shit that it’s all really kind of a front ha. Everyone’s doing drugs and acting wild.
So I think you should have a soft boundary there with him. I would just say, I know you have to stay out late and chat up a lot of people but im not super comfortable with you giving rides etc to random girls.
He should be able to respect that. If not welcome to dating 90% of musicians lol.
All the best, hopefully he hears you out.
Just call the non emergency number for your local police. Tell them she admitted to watching CP and you're concerned. They'll look into it. I wouldn't go further than that though.
If ever there was a response worthy of being upvoted 100K+ times, with dozens of awards, it’s this one right here.
OP, head out of ass please. You know EXACTLY what you did and you are way too fucking old to play this dumb. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. She doesn’t owe you her voice because you want her to speak on command, she’s not a goddamn dog.
Two paranoia reasons I can think of:
A) the idea that you might impregnate yourself to 'trap' him.
B) the idea that you might use it to claim as evidence for SA.
Not that he doesnt trust you per se, but he might be listening to the wrong sort of podcasts / shows etc that spread this type of fear.
Maybe just ask him, without being angry or offended, why did it?
Of course there are disgusting reasons as well, such as the intent to feed it to someone either with or without consent. Don't ask me why, there are gross people out there.
OP, this is really scary and no reason to stay. It simply means that you are so isolated that you are now socially dependent upon a stalker who wanted to rape you.
Please read The Gift of Fear. You’re going to be okay, and have a big full life away from him.
You don't want to end up being that wall one day.
As a SA victim myself, we don’t always know what can and will cause triggers. All we can expect from partners is that the will listen when we identify that we have a problem with what they are doing and they stop the behavior moving forward. You didn’t do anything wrong and you didn’t sexually assault her.
I saw some people commenting this and thought it's important to say. Don't make it a public spectacle. This sister will start the most unbelievable smear campaign you could ever imagine. does not matter if most people don't buy it some will and this will hurt your wife. It will cause family drama and then everyone is involved and your wife will spirals even harder than she has before since now it would be direct attacks on your and her character. Do not make a public statement about this about how she sexually harassed you. Do the the no contact, get the therapy for your wife and yourself and if possible get the RO. Do not give a narcissist a public spectacle they feed off of it and will do crazy shit to attack those they feel are attacking them.
To answer your question: You can’t.
Give her a chance and end it. She can say she trusts you… she’s just being nice. You’ve done more damage to her than you realize and thinking you can “fix” it or move past it is the height of selfishness and narcissism.
You downloaded Tinder. That’s not a “moment of weakness”… that’s deciding you want to pursue other women or shop your options.
Say it all you want. But you don’t do that while you’re “in love”.
Your partner deserves better and you need to go fix yourself before starting or restarting a relationship.
He said people but when she questioned him he admitted it was only Wanda.
I quit my career in my home country so that I could move close to her in another country even though it is quite financially straining for me and my family, and I have introduced all my family to her but she doesn't seem to return the favour. When I tell her I intend to spend the rest of my life with her, She says she can't reply in the same manner because she is afraid her family will reject me and she often emphasizes that her family's intention will get more priority over us. she also adds this is a regretful point for her that I am clearly demonstrating a commitment to the future of our relationship but she can't.
Setting aside the main issue for a moment, it doesn't sound like you two are on the same page AT ALL with regards to the state of the relationship. You're looking forward to marriage, she is still debating introducing you to her family. You talk to her about commitment, she tells you she won't.
she says she doesn't know which parts of my life need to be a private matter and which part is a public one, Maybe I am struggling to draw a clear line.
I don't fully understand the story she was telling the friend or why it bothered you so much, but from the context of your post I get the impression that she knew this was a sensitive topic for you, yeah? If so then her “I don't know what should be private and what shouldn't” is total bullshit. Everyone knows what sort of things are off limits for a casual conversation with a friend, especially if this has been a common issue between you two. Even if she were legitimately confused (she isn't) she should be erring on the side of undersharing, not oversharing.
I guess if you’re okay with being cheated on, then stay in the relationship. But i don’t find that very dignifying. I would advise you to hold yourself in some esteem. Recognize that you have more value than a cheater. And leave him in the dust.
You deserve better. It’s as simple as that. You will feel pain from this. But staying with him will only prolong that pain, and likely lead to a repeat of the same situation.
Free yourself from your bonds. Forget this nutsack.
You are going to need to provide more context for anyone to give you any meaning advice. Often physical violence is a boundary that once crossed there is no going back.
I think the only thing you can do now is tell him you respect that he needs so time out and give him some space to figure out where his heads at.
vegetarianism
excuse me, this is not a religion nor an extreme.
Yeah… the hypocrisy there is real…
I was once married to someone who tried to make streaming a job. His mother and I ended up paying for everything. So my advice would be to set an extremely firm boundary: you will emotionally support his streaming as long as he continues searching for an IRL job. He should also probably look into getting help with his CV and interview skills if he still isn't getting a site engineer job for 2 years.
That doesn’t mean a 22 year old needs to concern herself with being “wife material?”
If he wants her to budget and control her drinking, fine. This guy has banned going out without him, at all, period, because of what’s personally attractive to him. If you want to talk about poor decisions, that’s a big one.
If he’s telling the truth then he needs help. But there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you wanting to end things, trust your gut. I would feel very violated and have lost trust of my partner randomly did that
Honey, you could PAY people to read your memoir and nobody would read it.
He has been in therpy and recently stopped bcx it wasn't benefiting him His behaviours are worse and more careless than ever
“Cat lady lifestyle”??
Could be but outside of the whole masculine and feminine thing we do have a good relationship.
Nah she can get fucked. I’d lie about anything to get out clean at this point
Girl he's a huge condescending asshole that likes putting blame on you! you don't need anymore of a reason to leave his stupid ass
Mutual anal is fun, ease yourself into it with lots of lube, foreplay, possibly rimjobs and patience and care.
What is your BF's outlook on relationships and his hopes/desires for this one? You could help figure your next course of action out a lot by seeing whether his and your opinions on this relationship sync up much at all.
You gf is stupid and lacking empathy, let her go.
Your gf sounds like a lazy person in general and she found a guy who can support her laziness. She’s gonna ride that train very hot until she can’t anymore
I'm guessing they need to get married for one of them to move
Yes we are supposed to be exclusive. I mean we both have friends and my circle is kinda bigger than her's but when I had social media I did post her along with my friends.
This is what i need to hear
You’re 23 and he’s 35. There’s nothing wrong with that, but you’re at different stages of life, and that’s part of what contributes to you thinking very differently in terms of life goals. Personally, I don’t think it’s reasonable for him to complain that you don’t communicate what you want in 1-5 years. MOST people don’t do that. Most people settle into a job/career and go where it takes them unless some big event changes that.
Also, he’s blaming YOU for things that are simply not your fault. He almost certainly feels like he wasted some major part of his life and tens of thousands of dollars on becoming a pharmacist because now he’s discovering it doesn’t fulfill him in life the way he’d assumed it would. And rather deal with the fact that he made a mistake (and hey, everyone makes mistakes, even big ones) he needs to project it onto you somehow, by blaming you for not telling him your long term plans and somehow making it your responsibility for bringing up these conversations each year..
If he has huge loans that he needs to pay off, then he may simply have to be a pharmacist for a while. Not everyone gets to enjoy their job. It’s great when people enjoy their career, and that would certainly be the ideal situation, but sometimes you just have to slog through it in order to put food on the table and pay off debt. Then he can consider other careers, or find more fulfilling ways to be a pharmacist. But YOU shouldn’t feel bad about this, OP.
If your state is a no fault state, it really doesn't matter who is cheating. Do what you can to protect your assets now, get half out of any joint account now so she can't empty account. Emotionally distant isn't going to do anything in court, only if there was abuse it may affect child custody which you didn't Mention.
She might be in a relationship but enjoy the eye candy.
This is NOT gonna get better. In my experience
If you feel this much resentment, break it off and move on. Don't waste more time waiting for her to grow up.
Just be direct and tell her you've grown apart and you don't see a future together any longer. Then have a plan for one of you moving out. It's probably going to have to be you that moves out, so make sure to get your name off everything.
A question: Would you rather she hold it all inside and pretend she was more or less fine mentally? I don’t mean this as an attack or a judgment, just that a lot of people do and it can make things even worse.
He could also just not have sex.
Agree. The high profile prosecutions that have everyone worried involved either a) a preplanned idea of shooting as a first step (tony martin) b) leaving the property and chasing them down (various).
A fight inside a property isn't going to go anywhere.
she keeps giving me some mixed signals, like for example almost every time she says something about her boyfriend
This is a woman you shouldn't touch with a 10' pole. You are either completely misreading things and are mistaking friendly/comfortable for flirty or she is the kind of person who has no problem cheating. If she will cheat on her current boyfriend, she will cheat on her next boyfriend. Do you really want a girl who will cheat on you?
Friendship maybe. But don't be an idiot and want more
He’s comparing you to his boss because he very clearly made his disdain, disrespect and dislike of his boss clear to you— he’s trying to force you to back down by making you go “oh no, I don’t want to be like his boss!” But, that’s emotional manipulation at its finest, considering 1. Like you said, your relationship is entirely different to that of an employer/employee and 2. Quite frankly his boss hasn’t done anything to warrant a bad reputation.
Yes, if you bite the hand that feeds you, that hand is going to disappear. You don’t get to claim someone is unsupportive if you make it really clear you don’t want or appreciate the support.
This is the real him, he doesn’t sound appealing to me, I wouldn’t see him again
forgive her for being a drunk teenager trying to vibe on a dark dance floor, and ask her out on a date(s). eventually you may request sexual exclusivity, but until then, you must compete with the other chimps.
she either likes you and made a mistake, or is selfish and only worried about her reputation amongst her flatmates. but if you don't have any other prospects atm, why not give it a shot for a couple weeks? just be careful not to get your hopes up too soon (and use condoms)
But someone who was acquitted but guilty would also never mention it.
You need to understand that a relationship which exists purely live isn't a “real” relationship. “Real” here means “in real life”.
Humans form bonds when meeting with someone in person and we use all of our senses to do so. The scent of a person very much dictates if we see them as a potential partner. Touch (even non-sexual) is very important to many people in forming a bond. And generally, just being around each other and sharing experiences and daily life in person instead of just telling the other through a computer about your day is what makes a relationship strong.
As such, a relationship happening purely live, even if it lasts years, is never really durable. It simply lacks the strength, as many of the things needed to form a stable bond are simply not possible. Sure, you can facetime and talk, but there are no hugs, no shared experiences and thus, no shared life.
So honestly, I'm not that surprised that it took only a month of someone else entering your partner's life and being there in person for him to waver. Happens all the time – “online” is, after all, without consequences. It's not like if you live with your partner, then cheat and you have immediate trouble happening. You are someone far away, who can't just stand in front of his apartment and give him hell. You're someone he obviously can easily just tell to go away – it's easily done when you can just block someone with a click and never see them again, after all. The ease with which he did it should tell you that his feelings weren't strong enough. They were there, but once someone in real life came along, an on-line relationship just couldn't compare.
As such, what you should do is: First, take time to grieve. I know it feels like shit, but hopefully, one day, you'll be able to look back and see how this wasn't a good relationship, but that it also wasn't time wasted. As long as you learned something about what you want and not want in a relationship, you can now pick a partner with that information in mind. And, quite frankly: The most important thing to learn is that you should look for a partner in real life. Dating apps are fine, but not if you can't meet up with the person after a few weeks at the very latest. On-line relationships aren't like long-distance relationships – LDRs are relationships where couples usually meet ever so often or which are only temporarily long-distance, with the partners having spent a lot of time together before the relationship went long distance and thus, the bond has grown already. And even then, it's very hot for many people to be temporarily long distance.
The only person with decent sense of humor here
lol they call it bumpin' uglies for a reason.
but yea, you shouldn't make fun of your partner's body in a relationship.