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1. For both of them, I am having a very hot time with even the thought of the two of them speaking, let alone doing anything else with anyone.

   NGL, sounds like polyamorous may not be for you.

   This feels like your mind and heart are not in unison.

   Mentally, you're telling yourself:

   Polyamorous is fun. I have no issue with it. I can hold my own! My partners can date other people.

   But your heart is saying:

   You're giving me away! I want to feel exclusive and special to someone. I want to feel like I deep down another's person, a soul mate.

   The thought of my GF sleeping with another, kills me.

   And, if you think like that, you would be lying to yourself that you're genuinely okay with a poly relationship.

   In relationships, there is an emotional investment. And anytime your partner sleeps with another, it secretly pains you. Likely because emotional intimacy is more important to you than you've recognized. And the more private it is, the stronger it becomes.

   Otherwise, you have to train yourself differently. You can start by asking questions about the other people (not in a jealous way, but in a curious way)… like start hearing it so you get comfortable with it.

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