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Mila, 20 y.o.
Location: California, United States
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Date: October 28, 2022
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You were testing him and he failed. Don’t test people. You said something and wanted a specific kind of response that he didn’t give you, you set him up to fail your test.
People look at attractive people. It doesn’t mean anything and doesn’t take away from you. Don’t test people and work on your own self confidence.
Oh yes. Kinda scary seeing the transformation. I’ve seen faces and heard voices change. They become a different person before your eyes. OP, you’re about to be dumped most likely. You’re not the one in the wrong. You’re not the one running to listen to music for 7 hours with your ex, but you’re about to be dumped.
At the bottom of it, you’re afraid to leave because you’re afraid of never having this safety ever again. In reality, you will and you won’t. Every relationship is different and the feeling of what the relationship “feels like” will always be different from your last. But…..you’re also changing. Yeah, it’s time for this relationship to end and for the safety you felt in this one to come to an end as well.
But you’re going to find a different kind of love and a different kind of safety and a different kind of happiness. You’re really young and, honestly, you’re still learning what you think love should be or feel like. I promise you, when you finally figure it out, when you finally decide you know what love feels like to you, you’re going to look back at your life or this moment and be happy for all of the moments after. All of the love and all of the struggle will be worth it
Tell him it's a no, and if he pushes or cheats on you it's over.
Get a lawyer immediately and file for custody and a protection order so she can't take your son anywhere near that man.
Words fail to describe how dishonest, selfish, and emotionally unintelligent your husbands actions were.
Consider therapy to help process all this & Im not you & dont know the rest of your relationship, but if it was me I dont think I could ever trust this person to keep “Us” safe again.
I cant imagine how much youre feeling right now, please reach out to friends/fam to help support you?
This is probably going to hurt to hear but love isn’t unconditional. As someone who’s been through divorce, I’ve found it’s actually full of conditions, and no matter how small it may seem to you, it could be critical to the other partner. Ultimately your husband needs to decide if this is a dealbreaker for him. He owes you an answer, and if it’s divorce, the quicker and easier the better.