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Date: November 10, 2022
AmateurPub
The fact that she said it at all is monstrous.
What advice are you looking for? If you’ve already ended the relationship, you’ve already made your choice
I still can't get past the fact that the same day your child commited suicide, you felt the need to post on Reddit asking if you were to blame…This isn't normal and I would certainly advise to get therapy. Also, 2 out of 3 children won't speak to you. This is also not normal and again, I would advise you to get therapy.
She says she is doing the majority, but is it true? She also says she is working 12+ hours a day, so when is she able to do all these chores between the commute? I assume that he is doing daily chores such as cooking and laundry, but not enough to take care of everything. I think it is more likely that OP is jealous that her husband makes so much money and gets time to chill while she has to bust ass and barely makes anything.
How old are you? What's done is done and you can't do anything about it. I would calculate the expenses the child needs everything up to food, insurance, clothes diapers etc. as best as possible with a lawyer potentially and then give her a chance to change her mind. If with a video with audio isn't proof enough then I'm not sure what else you can do… it needs to be admissible in court…
Me and my ex did this a lot lmao bust gotta talk and understand that people get sleepy.
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So you want to walk on egg-shells? And since you said depression… he takes medication for it and drinks alcohol? You know that this is an awful combination? And since he doesn't go through with everything, i wonder if he actually takes his antidepressants?
It seems like he drags you down so much. What do you really get out of this relationship. If you give and give… And often you don't want to keep going because you had such wonderful times and he was such a great person, but times change and person change. Just please don't stay with him because you think about what you had in the past or how he was back then. It will never come back.
Often it help if you write down what makes you happy in the relationship, what unhappy, what needs to change and what you expect for the future. If you see this black and white it often helps. Same with staying a week somewhere else with family or friends. Do you actually miss him or feel like a burden dropped of your shoulder and you can finally breath again?
You just have one life. And you are still so young. You can't force someone to help themself and take better care of themself (your partner) but you can do the best for yourself. And if you just get dragged down and slowly get burned down… Love isn't everything in a relationship. There is so much more. Like respect or taking care of yourself or not but so much burden on the other.
I really wish you the best with whatever you will do❤️
You need to lay it out clearly. Her behaviour and lack of support is unacceptable. That you are re-considering your marriage unless she makes an effort to change and therapy (together and maybe single for her) is needed to help get to the root of her feelings. Did you have plans for a kid(S) together when you married?
Makes sense.
I wouldn't feel confortable having to “watch” her all the time.
But maybe worth the try.
She is cheating, wants to dump him for you. How can you trust her? You can't.
This girl has never met you in person. She sends nudes, mentioned finding a job in your city, then wants to on-line with you. Doesn't that seem a little off to you? A girl already in a relationship is already promising you everything but marriage behind her man's back. This girl either has the worst morals and decision making on the planet, or is a little bit on the crazy side.
Block. No contact. There is absolutely no potential for anything good to happen here.
This whole crowd, bf, bro, mom all sound like creeps. This shit is how women get trafficked. She is literally surrounded by people who could not care one bit less about her safety.
Well you said he has PTSD who hnos pretty serious. It's only been a days, and he did respond to you. I'd give him at least a week or two before dumping him.
If/when he comes around, you can always talk to him about how his silence affected you
OH MY BAD ? on dates we always split, and when he happens to buy me anything he always keeps it in mind and asks me to pay back but that doesnt bother me. but he finds even the most inexpensive things to be expensive to be fair
You can’t force a relationship. Don’t try to do it because you’ll end up losing your sister
Or you could be an adult and end it.
That thinking Isn’t love, trust, commitment it over it.
You should have ended it 2 years ago.
Throwing more time isn’t going to change anything. Neither will mutually cheating. It’s all building resentment.
Possibly. He has threatened to end the lease before. I’m in grad school and not working so he has been paying for bills. So I’m limited on what I can do..
Are you the GF? You seems weirdly invested in this.
And denying help to someone because they are annoying is not a good reason at least not in this situation where OP's sister is leaving an unhealthy relationship.
FYI abusive doesn't only mean physical. The fact that the sister had to rely on her BF for transportation and probably money is also abuse.
You either give up your dream or you move on
Understand how incredibly difficult it probably was for her to admit this, it’s a no win situation for both of you and it might just be the ending to this relationship
Sucks my man
Have your testosterone checked lol
Would it be at all possible to really talk. I love you guys. I understand that you don’t agree with some of my choices but do we really need to stop talking about my life. Is there any room for you to be happy that you have raised a good man who has found a good woman that he is happy with? I feel as if I can’t share my life with you and I miss that. I’m really sorry this is happening. My parents have wildly different views than my kids but they have great conversations about politics. I have very different views on religion and they may wish it were different but they are as accepting as I could hope. There must be a middle ground.
Thanks a lot for the insight, really appreciate it 🙂
Yep, let’s gather up our pitch forks and torches and burn the woman based on vague accusations from a sneaky man.
Its an extremely appropriate thing to say/think. Actually, only inappropriate thing about it is the fact she even needed to tell you…and another inappropriate thing is that she didn't leave you after you chose to stay friends with a cheater and justify the cheating.
Let's be honest, it's probably the tips of the iceberg. I could easy point out that i see two option 1) Got married really fast and it's don't sound really healthy when you need to hide something from your husband because you don't trust him enough to respect your boundarie. 2) A adult man flirted with a teen (you) and got her to go out with him by grooming, and now you are stuck married with him in a terrible relation with a heavy powerplay.
Lot of people already pointed out how much your post sound “Unhealthy relation”, not going to push that further. Don't just focus on that problem and take some step back to understand if your relation is really going that well at first. Because it's sound like you are in more mess then just pill hiding. Wish you luck and strenght.
Your argument is based on the assumption that most people will feel violated by having sex with a trans person without knowing it. Not everyone feels the way you do. Some people don’t have a problem with someone being trans
“I wanna.” It doesn't matter what you want. After the shit you caused, it matters what HE wants. Have you ever thought maybe life isn't all about what you want?
You can’t calm his insecurities down. He needs to get professional help to figure out why he’s insecure and trying to control you.
This is a much bigger deal than you’re making. This person wants you to quit your job because you work with a man! What’s next? Is he going to lock you in the house and only let you out when he can chaperone to make sure you never interact with men?
This is dangerous,y controlling behavior and you need to put your foot down and call him out for this.
He's your ex for a reason. Dick move but move on.
Yeah, I'd relax. If you're gonna be worked up over little things like this, it's going to be a long trying life together.
Changing a diet for a roommate can be doable if you agree to cook for each other once/twice a week.
The comments are not extreme at all. Trauma is not an excuse for controlling, abusive behavior. Telling someone in an abusive relationship that is very likely only going to escalate to “help him feel more comfortable” is dangerous advice, hands-down.
This is not simple insecurity. This is abuse. It is not safe to give this kind of advice in this kind of situation.
I mean this with all due respect. But after working in the domestic violence field for close to a decade and specializing in tracking intimate partner homicides, I have seen hundreds if not thousands of women in relationships just like this killed by their partners. It starts with behavior just like this.
Does that mean he will 100% kill her? No. Is there a risk that he will escalate and possibly become violent? Yes.
There is a reason why the comments seem so “extreme.” It's because this situation is.
If it's easy enough, ghost that MF. You'll realize how much peace you were missing when you have it again. Peace is the ultimate luxury
I mean…. you can dump him now or he can dump you when he finds out. Which do you pick?
He’s got a history of speeding and ‘dangerous driving’ which a lot of people, me included, have talked to him about and he’s said he doesn’t do it anymore. But to do it in a built up area where there were people standing around is what makes this situation more effed up