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Date: November 14, 2022
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Humans act on emotion over logic a lot of the time. If someone is acting on temporary emotions for example anger or frustration I don’t think those actions define that persons character. That’s all I’m saying.
He's changed since they became engaged. He's more controlling. He says she can't work. Now he has control of finances. It's 'his' baby. I bet you are 'his' as well. This guy is not just controlling but possessive. What were you using for birth control? Condoms… is it possible he tampered with them?
I can't be certain about the last being done on purpose but the rest are all classic red flags of an abuser. They're charming, sweet, the 'perfect' man until they have you under their thumb. Then the control starts. They isolate you, they beat down your confidence, and they make you dependent on them.
OP, do you have family and friends you can trust? Because you need to be very careful here. Be watchful of his behaviors. What he says and does. But especially how he responds to what you are doing, who you talk to, and who you are around. If what I suspect is accurate, it's only a matter of time before physical abuse follows. Have a plan in place. Somewhere you can go with someone you trust.
I sincerely hope that's not the case. I hope I'm wrong. Just be safe, OP. Be smart and protect yourself and your baby.
Yeah it’s over
It doesn’t matter WHY she is hiding it. What matters is her over the top response. No one deserves to be spoken to the way she spoke to you.
I bet he's bi and has a man personally
Ask her flat out why she reacted so dramatically to hearing that her ex was getting married. Tell her how it made you feel. Discuss and communicate. Then tell her you’re going to take some time to process it all…and you do just that.
there's a big issue of the ex getting to that big adulthood step of “getting married” before she did. She might legit hate his guts but because he's getting married first she's somehow loosing. this might just be a big existential hit more than anything else.
You don’t have a diagnosis, so don’t shit the bed just yet. Of course tell her that you are scared it might be cancer and that you want to see her. She can come visit you/move back after her trip if it does turn out to be a cancer diagnosis. Maybe you can video call and keep good communication during her trip, or as you mentioned, maybe she can cut it short if the news is particularly bad.
Do you have any local friends or family who can support you in the meantime? Remember this is a long distance relationship so visiting regularly be challenging for her. Unfortunately in long distance relationships it’s nearly impossible for a partner to show up at your beckon call. How long have you two been together?