Because we talked about it and expressed my concern and he told me that these are new thoughts that started this last month đ I know heâs still choosing me but i canât help but feel uncomfortable that heâs having these new thoughts so far into our relationship
I always find it odd how people in monogamous relationships expect others and this is coming from a monogamous woman when entering or are in relationships and have dated people before meeting you. Expect you to feel nothing, like a robot towards people. Esp people who were once in a relationship with you or in your past or still are in your life from a prior relationship. It's not always black & white. Sure, sounds like the woman was an asshole sometimes. But I don't know her given the context why she was rude towards him. But regardless, I mean he may be in shock that she died. He did share and bare children with his woman so I can't see how he wouldn't still love her. And by love you can love differently with someone overtime. As life and love changes. And love doesn't have to mean you wanna fuck em or want to be with them. Love can mean they played an important role in your life. You loved them and you will miss them. Their gone, dead. That makes you think about a lot of stuff. How things played out, why things happened the way it did, etc. He could be in his feelings and will always love her. But again, he may be in mourning. And that is ok, life is complicated, and he is feeling complicated feelings. He probably feels sad, and he most likely needs comfort at this time. It's a loss that mattered to him.
Show her affection and cuddles outside of more sexual type encounters, like hugs doing dishes, having her sit close & holding her while watching TV, holding her hand, putting your arm around her in public.
Sometimes when we are self-conscious, affection can almost seem transactional (cuddles for sex). If you make an effort to be affectionate outside of sexual situations, it can resonate louder.
But thatâs the thing – had he said what you wrote out loud, she would have immediately dumped him. A lot of the people in this thread judge porn tastes heavily (I agree the R**e scinario are dodgy but there are a lot of women with RFâs) and therefore see no redemption
Thank you for your response. It's just a sad situation because we love each other very much but I just don't see how this relationship can continue and evolve if his roommate continues to be in the equation. The other problem is that they've been friends for a while and it just seems to me that he cares a little too much what his roommate thinks. Like I said, he works two jobs and I don't want things to be harder on him but it's like when am I ever supposed to voice having an issue with something?
I've explained to him that I understand that his roommate makes the rules because it's also his place but I don't think it's right of him to basically ban me from the apartment because he doesn't like that I make noise. The reason why I think that this may be a case of his friend being upset that he started a relationship with me and he is no longer the center of my boyfriend's attention is because he's also disabled. I just think he's being super hypocritical.
Like I said, I feel like I walked into a situation with someone who is not ready to have a relationship. I have gently told him this and I have not attacked him but I've just laid out the way things are. He always gets upset and begs me not to leave him but I'm just not happy with the way things are. There is real love there and we support each other and we have a lot of fun when we are together but I just don't see it being conducive to a future together.
I mean, even if you take him at his word, there's just no reason for a lot of this. There's no reason for them to be sharing a suite, doing romantic activities, or for a bisd to pay for her employee to take an expensive trip with her on her dime. There's also zero reason for him not to tell you until the end of the trip. Everyone else already told you to break it off. I'll go one step further- contact the business he works for and let them know his boss thinks it's appropriate to take employees on all expenses paid vacation where they share a suite. With it being a family business There's not as much of a guarantee ther will be repercussions for her, but I have to imagine this is still something everyone else in the business would like to know.
You also said that it's weird that he's insistent she doesn't (it's not) and that it may be because he has a woman barber and is afraid she'll be jealous… which is a nutty assumption about a common practice
Yeah dude what the hell? I canât even read all of it because of how bad you let her treat you? Itâs one thing putting up with bad behavior sometimes but if sheâs never nice to you whatâs the point?
The post is right. Cheating doesn't have to be physical, it can absolutely be emotional (clear case, carrying on a romantic relationship on the side that doesn't involve sex, or leading someone on while you're in a relationship). Your boyfriend's trying to deflect and blame you for believing facts.
Because we talked about it and expressed my concern and he told me that these are new thoughts that started this last month đ I know heâs still choosing me but i canât help but feel uncomfortable that heâs having these new thoughts so far into our relationship
I always find it odd how people in monogamous relationships expect others and this is coming from a monogamous woman when entering or are in relationships and have dated people before meeting you. Expect you to feel nothing, like a robot towards people. Esp people who were once in a relationship with you or in your past or still are in your life from a prior relationship. It's not always black & white. Sure, sounds like the woman was an asshole sometimes. But I don't know her given the context why she was rude towards him. But regardless, I mean he may be in shock that she died. He did share and bare children with his woman so I can't see how he wouldn't still love her. And by love you can love differently with someone overtime. As life and love changes. And love doesn't have to mean you wanna fuck em or want to be with them. Love can mean they played an important role in your life. You loved them and you will miss them. Their gone, dead. That makes you think about a lot of stuff. How things played out, why things happened the way it did, etc. He could be in his feelings and will always love her. But again, he may be in mourning. And that is ok, life is complicated, and he is feeling complicated feelings. He probably feels sad, and he most likely needs comfort at this time. It's a loss that mattered to him.
Show her affection and cuddles outside of more sexual type encounters, like hugs doing dishes, having her sit close & holding her while watching TV, holding her hand, putting your arm around her in public.
Sometimes when we are self-conscious, affection can almost seem transactional (cuddles for sex). If you make an effort to be affectionate outside of sexual situations, it can resonate louder.
OP isn't having sex with his wife, he's masturbating using her body
But thatâs the thing – had he said what you wrote out loud, she would have immediately dumped him. A lot of the people in this thread judge porn tastes heavily (I agree the R**e scinario are dodgy but there are a lot of women with RFâs) and therefore see no redemption
Thank you for your response. It's just a sad situation because we love each other very much but I just don't see how this relationship can continue and evolve if his roommate continues to be in the equation. The other problem is that they've been friends for a while and it just seems to me that he cares a little too much what his roommate thinks. Like I said, he works two jobs and I don't want things to be harder on him but it's like when am I ever supposed to voice having an issue with something?
I've explained to him that I understand that his roommate makes the rules because it's also his place but I don't think it's right of him to basically ban me from the apartment because he doesn't like that I make noise. The reason why I think that this may be a case of his friend being upset that he started a relationship with me and he is no longer the center of my boyfriend's attention is because he's also disabled. I just think he's being super hypocritical.
Like I said, I feel like I walked into a situation with someone who is not ready to have a relationship. I have gently told him this and I have not attacked him but I've just laid out the way things are. He always gets upset and begs me not to leave him but I'm just not happy with the way things are. There is real love there and we support each other and we have a lot of fun when we are together but I just don't see it being conducive to a future together.
I mean, even if you take him at his word, there's just no reason for a lot of this. There's no reason for them to be sharing a suite, doing romantic activities, or for a bisd to pay for her employee to take an expensive trip with her on her dime. There's also zero reason for him not to tell you until the end of the trip. Everyone else already told you to break it off. I'll go one step further- contact the business he works for and let them know his boss thinks it's appropriate to take employees on all expenses paid vacation where they share a suite. With it being a family business There's not as much of a guarantee ther will be repercussions for her, but I have to imagine this is still something everyone else in the business would like to know.
So basically you live in a poly relationship without your consent.
You also said that it's weird that he's insistent she doesn't (it's not) and that it may be because he has a woman barber and is afraid she'll be jealous… which is a nutty assumption about a common practice
Yeah dude what the hell? I canât even read all of it because of how bad you let her treat you? Itâs one thing putting up with bad behavior sometimes but if sheâs never nice to you whatâs the point?
The post is right. Cheating doesn't have to be physical, it can absolutely be emotional (clear case, carrying on a romantic relationship on the side that doesn't involve sex, or leading someone on while you're in a relationship). Your boyfriend's trying to deflect and blame you for believing facts.