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1. Were you exclusive when she slept with the coworker?

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2. Rip the band aid off. Waiting any longer is only going to make it worse. But understand, this will probably ruin the friendship.

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3. I'm gonna give you a completely opposite argument, and say you take what she is doing and up it even more to point out how controlling she is (because in her own controlling head she did nothing wrong).

   Take what she did and throw it right back in her face with even more. No more emotional responses with her (this is called gray rocking, and is a method for dealing with abusers). If she ask a question straighten completely up and end every sentence with ma'am. Give her nothing to talk about but respond only to her questions. Stop giving any kind of emotion in front of her, because what she did was controlling, you want to give her nothing to control over (literally like you would respond to a cop or a drill Sargent or a judge or anything). Your goal is to do it until she realizes that she is the person that cut off her emotional relationship with her son (which is exactly what she did, but she doesn't even understand it yet, she thinks her control was her right which it is not).

   You're going to be better the more space between you and her you can create. If she wants to control you, then only give her access to a personality that has already taken the control too far until she is willing to actually talk, only then will she be open to the idea that she did something wrong and might listen.

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4. She absolutely remembers she said it and doesn’t want to address the shitty thing she did. Remind her and tell her it’s bothering you and you need to talk about it. The way she reacts will tell you what you need to know about the kind of person she is, if her comment hasn’t already.

   People need calling out on this sort of behaviour, I’m sorry this has happened to you, OP.

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