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Room for on-line sex video chat Melissasweett_
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Languages: en,es,zh,ko
Birth Date: 2002-07-17
Body Type: bodyTypeThin
Ethnicity: ethnicityAsian
Hair color: hairColorBlack
Eyes color: eyeColorBrown
Subculture: subcultureStudent
Date: October 22, 2022
We let it be. Best way to really understand something that can’t be fixed is knowing y’all two different people with two different brains. Sometimes the things that don’t get fixed might iron themselves out over time but if it ain’t too extreme we both just dropped it.
Never force it either, respect “sorry no” kind of things but stuff y’all willing to work just be reassuring and consistent.
I did my best to forgive her for the fact we were sexually incompatible at the end of the day. Still some parts of me are still not forgiving her I assume
It's hot to give you advice when you are vague with his initial explanation. I mean his problem could be a totally valid concern or something really crazy, we can't know.
What's happening after that is most likely a missunderstanding that is quite common. Once again we can't be sure since text doesn't convey emotions very well. But my guess is that he like most people in quarrels wants you to hear his emotions and need but your answers focus on the literal content of what he sais.
There is nothing right or wrong here but it will lead to frustration for both of you if it's a recurring pattern.
English is not my first language so I might fail but my guess is that what he really wants to say is something like … why didn't you hear my emotional need when I have told you that I really need me to be there for me.
That's a question on an emotional level. He wants to know why you don't see or understand his emotions. I can't be more specific without more information.
You answer to the content of the question, to the question of what's the explanation to why you didn't listen.
Since he wants you to hear his emotional need it increases his frustration when you focus on facts.
At the same time it makes you frustrated because you give him the facts that you thinks he asks for and he doesn't accept them.
This is one of the most common patterns of miscommunication and a couple therapist would be able to help you.
Totally!
I'm the same way. You may not realize this, but cooking is a love language for you. It's also customary to give food to grieving families, a custom that seems to be going the way of the dodo these days. Sounds like your bf is insecure about something.
I was confused bc it says “aromatic”. I thought it might be some new term since i’m not a native speaker ?
Gay women smell too.
He's watching way too much porn
You check up on him ?
Wait… did she say she is okay with her boyfriend hitting her dog as long as it’s not in the face? Did I miss something? (I know people on social media can be super aggressive and sarcastic… this isn’t that. I’m genuinely asking what made you say that/what your perspective is there.)
Boyfriend is behaving abusively towards the dog and that should stop NOW. It just seems to me like she’s got a decent perspective, and is looking for reassurance .
I would put some distance unless you have a relationship where you could talk about this
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Gross
i get the feeling a lot of people name calling you in the comments have a history of infidelity and thats why they feel the need to just straight up insult you.
she had a year to disclose her past to her boyfriend. if she was going to change in this relationship she would have disclosed it already. i have a sister i love. if she had cheated over and over and i had to watch, then she claimed she is changing without taking any steps i would wait for awhile and when she still made no steps towards confronting her past then yeah, id probably tell the boyfriend out of guilt.
She is probably cheating and was looking for her justification even if it's the kind of justification only a narcissist could come up with. She is abusing you as well by treating you without respect and giving you demands like this. This is not a good marriage dude its time to consider more drastic options like divorce. I would consult a lawyer do you have any kids together? I'm guessing not since you didn't mention it.
Honestly though sometimes it is just about the invite.
If you're vocally anti-kid, and have made your dislike of your younger sibling well-known, it's not reasonable to expect an invite.
It's the same as that one friend that always turns down every invitation – eventually you just stop wasting your time in inviting them.
OP's daughter, by the sounds of it, has created this ecosystem in which she lives. Now she has to deal with it.
Why are you walking around topless in your underwear around a minor?
I agree with everyone else saying this is an abusive relationship in which you have been raped, so I won’t dwell on that. I did want to say that birth control should not be affecting you like that. If you don’t want to take it at all, don’t — you get to choose what you put in your body. However, if there ever is a point in the future when you want to take it again, please talk to your doctor about other pills/other birth control options. There are a lot of different pills with different compositions, and you could likely find one that works for your body (again, only if taking a pill is something you genuinely want to do at some point).
You’re going to destroy him here.
If anything you’ve made it worse for him now because he will have told all his family and friends that he’s getting married and will have to walk with his tail between his legs and tell them that actually he’s not getting married, you should fully expect a breakup here.
If you want to marry him someday why not marry discuss it with him and plan the wedding for a few years from now
Imagine, at first I'd be sorry for her because of the miscarriages, but the further I went into the pregnancy I started to realise that none of that was normal. And not being able to vocalise it and expose how I feel really stresses me out
I’d say stick to your ultimatum and leave. It’s bizarre that he won’t fix them (something that’s a need) even when you’ve offered to pay and help pay. Poor oral hygiene this bad can lead to heart problems and infections within the bloodstream as well. Tooth loss patterns are even connected to coronary artery disease. Any time you kiss he is exposing you to infection/bacteria as well.
Nope, fuck em.
Does he lack friends?
Exactly, especially since the hotel is already taken care of by OP
I feel like people are wrongly focusing on playing rock paper scissors.
I think it’s about him bringing up this coworker in a conversation that had nothing to do with work.
This feels like issues for 20 something’s. Most 20 something’s would feel fine with this dynamic with coworker and call OP insecure, and I have to agree. If this couple is past 30 and this husband makes this comment, I side with OP.
Has he noticed that you guys have a bad sex life? Any talks between you two in that realm?
Have you expressed any of this dissatisfaction in the relationship with him? Do you guys have date nights with any regularity?
Are either of you in therapy? If not, I would highly recommend it for you – depression and anxiety are not things that should go untreated. It can sneak up on you and become a much bigger problem very quickly.
The question you need to answer for yourself: Do you want to make this work?
Either way, there is a lot of work that needs to be done. For yourself.
I have tons of platonic female friends, but every woman I’ve ever dated or slept with was at some point “just a friend.” I’ve not once told this guy to demand she not go. I’ve simply told him to run. This poor guy is over there trying to start a normal relationship, yet the girl he’s trying to do it with is cool going off with two dudes alone on vacation. Vacations can get wild… just saying.
very well said. Plus, OP, don’t feel bad about wasting time… you tried. You should feel bad about wasting MORE time if you continue knowing it's not going to work out.
How do you split your household costs? (rent/mortgage, utilities, food, etc…)
I have a list just so I can remember timelines and names
You are not the AH. Your friend changed the circumstances of you 2 living together. I would find a new place to live! or tell her to find a new place.
First of all. FWB doesn't mean one person makes all the rules. If you're not comfortable with her actions set some boundaries. And because you like her you either need to sit down and talk to her and not let her drive the conversation an be her rules, but the two of you talk, or you need to end it because it's going to get messy.
Also, you shouldn't be in a FWB if you actually want to be on a relationship with her. And she shouldn't be in one of she can't stick to her own rules. Why can't people ever stick to the rules or just be honest?
Inflation everywhere
Thank you for this. I never really busted inside her but shit life is life and I gotta accept the consequences of every actions I took. This is well appreciated.
He’s 11 years older than you, that’s already a red flag when you’re only in your early twenties. He’s 35 years old, if he hasn’t learned to regulate his emotions and actions by now, he’s not likely to change without serious inner work and therapy. He hasn’t been physically violent toward you yet but these things tend to escalate. At this point, I would tell him that he needs to seek help for his anger issues, or else the relationship is over. No one likes an ultimatum, but you’re potentially endangering yourself by staying with someone who loses control like that when he’s angry. Even if he’s willing to do the work and change, do you feel safe with him? Can you trust him 100% to not harm you? If not, the relationship is already over. I’m sorry you’re going through this.
She sounds shallow and more concerned about getting social media points than she is about you and your relationship. And having someone “retake the same picture a dozen times because she isn't satisfied with it” isn't normal relationship stuff. It's obsessive. Seems to be common these days, but it certainly isn't normal (unless you are a movie star or someone famous).
Totally this! I'm sorry but my evil side is showing!
No it makes me uncomfortable but I already told him that it’s weird and he says well you can come along it’s not weird . So I don’t think they are cheating because he says I can come but it’s still weird for me . Why am I be asked to come along .
Omg. Did you see Kwak-Kim? I had this issue too!
Bro, the value of an iPhone is higher than the PS5 even without any of the monthly payments. You aren’t taking the phone back, you’re just no longer paying for the service.
The problem is, I don't have any evidence and he is a lawyer, so the chances of him getting punished are extremely small :/
Stop smoking. You’re endangering your wife and will be endangering your child.
It doesn’t have to be your central unit. But it may be hers and you have to be honest about whether you can prioritise her priorities, and if she can prioritise yours.
There’s probably a compromise to be had here if you both want to be together for the long game.
It doesn’t have to be your central unit. But it may be hers and you have to be honest about whether you can prioritise her priorities, and if she can prioritise yours.
There’s probably a compromise to be had here if you both want to be together for the long game.
So why Am I not tired of his?? Explain that thanks
Alright man I do really appreciate your advice
you've been dating for a few months and already met her child? HUGE RED FLAG
I honestly don't think you'll be with this girl for long enough to need to make a decision about moving.
you both want different things, enjoy it while it lasts – but don't fret about moving.
Glad to hear it, always good to be able to fall back on your family for support in a time like this. You'll look back on this in 5 years and be glad you got out when you did.
If it’s a team effort then maybe he should carry the baby, throw up every day for months, experience pain in every part of his body, endure agony pushing it out, rip his most intimate area, bleed for weeks after, and risk death while doing it.
Until he can do that, his contribution to this ‘team’ isn’t really that important
but he supports me and acts so comfortable with me everyday this just came out of no where
Girl, leave. Everything in your post is a red flag.
You are NOT OBLIGATED TO RAISE ANOTHER PERSONS KID…. you tried, you couldn't, and thats all you can do.
You were at a breaking point.
My gf had done intensive therapy and healing, but the boys are a mess. To no fault of their own.
Just because they are kids, does not mean they cannot be at fault. The 14 year old will be the first to realize they helped make their mom a continued victim of their dads behavior by acting out like this because she wants a relationship. The sooner it happens the better.
“tell your douchebag bf to leave. You know we hate him. He is scary.”
This ain't your pig, and ain't your farm. You did not marry this woman(yet), you are not obligated to do anything for her kids, and technically, you CAN'T.
Don't ask advice if you are too rigid to listen to it.
I'm saying that the “can't find a job” meme about the wife is bullshit, nothing else.
He sounds like a rapist and a sadist
You were raped. You need to leave him. If you let him get away with this he will get worse to see how much you will let him get away with
Why not make demands? They’re separated.
Nope. This is BS. I could have bought it up until the deliberate breaking of an arm. That's an extremist reaction. This is a post to provoke hate against Muslims.
Nope. This is BS. I could have bought it up until the deliberate breaking of an arm. That's an extremist reaction. This is a post to provoke hate against Muslims.
It's over.
Have some self respect and get a lawyer and divorce.
You are worth more than to be treated like that
Can't really say if they are having an affair, but it sounds like he does have a soft spot for her
Do not pay more than what you would pay if you were single. Like if you would chose to live! somewhere that charges 500 a month if you were single, don’t agree to pay more than that just because he wants a more expensive place. If he wants something more expensive, he pays the difference.
Do not do more than half the chores, cooking and shopping if you both work equal hours. If one person works less hours, then they do more chores. Regardless of income.
Do not put your own career and earning potential on hold for someone who doesn’t consider his money your money
If he won’t pay for your tampons then you need to make sure you are financially independent of him 100%
That you never need his money or support.
This is not a good man. Please do NOT move in with him, marry him, or have his babies.
But it wasn't her fault… THE ALCOHOL!!!
Did you even see the part where they felt really, really bad?!
Walk away man. She doesn't see what was wrong with it and she will do it again even if you tell her how it made you feel. She doesn't respect you.
Hmm. That's terrible advice. Either you accept your spouse as is or you leave. If that means accepting she doesn't want kids and make peace with that or start over. She has the most invested in this decision and if she accidentally got pregnant she could have an abortion.
Don’t worry, you are about to age out if this dude’s sweet spot. You’ll be on the curb soon.
He’s being unreasonable and hurtful for no reason
Eventually: work out how many hours you would be cleaning/doing childcare, bill him 60£ an hour, and check if that makes things fairer. Also, suggest that spearation of costs is scaled to revenue.
“Get tighter”
No, get a new boyfriend. And you do that right fucking now.
I think you should break up with him too.
Relationships aren't supposed to be easy/perfect. But they definitely shouldn't be this hot. Only a month in. Nah girl, don't waste your early college age years like I did holding onto a boy who doesn't deserve it and makes you cry from the stress of just simply being with him.
Also the screenshotting his ex's face thing is really really strange to me. You can keep in touch with somebody and care about their well being without doing that.
I agree ! You need to come clean to your ex. Tell your fiancée yiu need her to do a polygraph test. Did she rape you? Was she really pregnant? Were you the father? Too many iffy questions here. Once you hv these, then talk to your ex. You may or may not get her back in relationship with you. But at least you know the real truth. Then deal on your engagement based on polygraph results.
Updateme!
You finish with talk of salvaging the relationship; what relationship?
If you’re tired now, just imagine how exhausted you’ll be in another 10 years. You’re only 38, you’ve got half your life to live, get out there and start doing it! You’ve got this!
So you've slept with Thai girls and they react with pleasurable moans?
I'm still confused if it's ONLY a porn thing or a cultural thing.
“I'm not trying to sabotage their relationship” Proceeds to list down ways you are sabotaging their relationship.
Keep telling yourself that, Hun. You're being creepy.
It makes no sense to have a child with an ex because of a one night stand?? Do you understand, why would someone desperately want a child with an ex lmao, it reeks of desperation.
Don’t argue with op she’s an airhead. She will never get it. Let’s just hope this relationship implodes
You don’t need to exercise to lose weight.
I just tracked my calories on an app and lost 25 lbs without issue. If you don’t like exercising then don’t worry about it, focus instead on the math and what you are eating.
Your partner deserves someone who cares for their health as much as they do. You can take the initiative and cook food at home for the both of you, showing that you’re taking charge of your own body and health.
Yes my family is black and my fiancée is mixed with white and black. I think a lot of this stems from my Fiancee having unresolved trauma with regards to some things that have happened in her past. She grew up around white people and that use to call her all kinds of racial slurs and it’s not something she ever really addressed.
She has said that all this stuff going on with my sister is making her feel the same way she felt when she was younger but from the other side. While I think the comments that were made weren’t directly downplaying her race, it’s the follow-up actions that have made her feel like my sister has a race issue.
When I try to break it down and try to have her see a different perspective, she starts to feel like I’m blaming her for everything that’s happened and she shuts down.
You’ve caught feelings for this dude. Do with it what you will.
You’ve caught feelings for this dude. Do with it what you will.
You did it right. She probably didn't expect otherwise. You would be dumb to take her back, and she would have treated as a moron.
You'll need to ask her to elaborate and clarify.
Only she can tell you in more detail as to what she meant by what she said.
Okay then we are talking. Regardless, at the airport he was fully hiding from me and totally apart from his friends….
I don’t want her to hurt herself
So you'd rather she hurt you?
She is not your responsibility
Leave this abusive relationship OP
Have you told him about your problems with porn? If you haven't, you have no business being mad at him. If you have, he deserves everything he gets for not leaving you immediately.
I don't know. I assumed that it will get better as my kids get older.
There is a part of me that thinks that maybe I was not ready to be a mother. Maybe those initial conditions my husband proposed while dating were too much? But it seemed pretty straightforward. Take care of the house and raise a kid. You don't even need to work a job. If anything it seemed like I broke the “contract”. He never hid what he wanted from me. He wanted a partner AFTER I fulfilled my obligations.
Eventually (maybe in 5 ish years) my husband wants to decrease the amount he works and spend more time with us. For the near future he wants to try to implement solutions that will help me be happy without necessarily taking away the responsibilities of motherhood.
I think you need to spend some time working on your issues before you get into another relationship. This one is obviously toast.
Do you agree that it would be an unsettling comment to make to anyone? You said you would take them aside and talk to them, what kind of things would you say to him?
I agree that the context of a 6 year relationship was not added into my hypothetical scenario, but it almost makes it worse IMO that it is.
Saying something like that to a random stranger you just met doesn't hold as much weight as saying it to your partner does. Especially when we have had this conversation so many times, I keep expressing how gross that comment is, and he continues to use it. That's not only gross now, it's disrespectful. I'm not dragging him live! as a rape apologist, I gave the situation from my perspective and I'm asking how others would have handled it because I'm not understanding what I should have done.
He knew I was into urban exploring and if he was really that upset by it he should have broken up with me 6 years ago. I haven't even gone exploring in 2 years, the topic came up because I was talking about how I missed it. And then he puts himself in a hypothetical situation where it's totally norm for him as a homeless man in an aban building to SA and kill me. (“Of course!”)
His intentions might have been good. He has valid concerns. I never made him feel bad for expressing his concern, but I have always gotten upset when he takes the conversation down this road of weird hypothetical scenarios that skeeve me out. That alone should be enough for me to be upset, let alone the fact that it's about me being raped and killed.
Do you agree that it would be an unsettling comment to make to anyone? You said you would take them aside and talk to them, what kind of things would you say to him?
I agree that the context of a 6 year relationship was not added into my hypothetical scenario, but it almost makes it worse IMO that it is.
Saying something like that to a random stranger you just met doesn't hold as much weight as saying it to your partner does. Especially when we have had this conversation so many times, I keep expressing how gross that comment is, and he continues to use it. That's not only gross now, it's disrespectful. I'm not dragging him live as a rape apologist, I gave the situation from my perspective and I'm asking how others would have handled it because I'm not understanding what I should have done.
He knew I was into urban exploring and if he was really that upset by it he should have broken up with me 6 years ago. I haven't even gone exploring in 2 years, the topic came up because I was talking about how I missed it. And then he puts himself in a hypothetical situation where it's totally norm for him as a homeless man in an aban building to SA and kill me. (“Of course!”)
His intentions might have been good. He has valid concerns. I never made him feel bad for expressing his concern, but I have always gotten upset when he takes the conversation down this road of weird hypothetical scenarios that skeeve me out. That alone should be enough for me to be upset, let alone the fact that it's about me being raped and killed.
THIS. This happened to me, my ex husband is a p*do. For a long time my biggest shame was that I didn’t immediately take action. My brain just couldn’t process it. He was my high school sweetheart and we’d been together 14 years. I knew about denial, but I didn’t really realize how powerful it was until this happened to me.
We’re divorced now, but it really took some time for me to full accept the reality of that betrayal.
Now that you know about it, you will be held legally responsible as well when he gets in trouble. You need to report this. That is gross.
There’s no way that was a Clorox wipe. You would have been in significant pain if she rubbed that on you. It’s most likely that it was a feminine hygiene wipe. However, I still think that’s her problem and not yours if she’s carrying those around to dates.
There’s no way that was a Clorox wipe. You would have been in significant pain if she rubbed that on you. It’s most likely that it was a feminine hygiene wipe. However, I still think that’s her problem and not yours if she’s carrying those around to dates.
Tell him and his fat head to get out
My partner has checked with me before lending money that was 100% from his paycheck and didn't affect bills at all.