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MehndiShay Public Chat Channel No pvt
Date: February 5, 2023
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
MehndiShay Public Chat Channel No pvt
Ummm…. I wouldn’t give up so fast.
So I sort of do the same thing with friends. I literally met one of my friends because she was sobbing alone in the side of the building and I came over to speak with her and ask if she’s okay and gave her emotional support.
The thing is, she’s engulfed in her friend’s circumstances. All she can think about is what her friend went through and how traumatic the experience was.
What she’s doing now is internalizing her friend’s feelings and processing them as “what if bf does the same?” Completely disregarding the fact that you’re nothing like her friend’s ex because she’s in “protect my friend at all costs” mode.
What I would suggest you do before throwing the relationship away completely is to take your gf away just for a little bit from her friend.
Go out to her favorite fast food place or go out and get a pizza together.
The point is that you two go out together alone somewhere and have a talk with her in the car or somewhere where you can sit down and be in public or private together.
Mention how you’re feeling and how you feel like you want to give up on the relationship as she’s unhealthily implying you’re abusive when you’ve done nothing like her best friend’s ex.
Ask her what you’ve done that is just like what her friend’s ex did.
Do i tell you what to wear?
Do I raise my voice at you during an argument?
Do i throw things or slam my hands in things when we fight?
Have I ever hit you?
Have you ever not felt safe being with me?
Ask her these questions and if she says no to all of them then ask her again why do you think after all this time and after I have never displayed abusive behavior do you think I need to do anything to make sure I’m safe to be with? People who love each other don’t ask for background checks and especially after 5 years together.
I understand that you’re concerned for your friend, but I’m not your friend’s ex and you know that. I love you, but I’m not comfortable with the idea that I have to do leg work to show you I’m not abusive when I’ve been showing you. This is my boundary and I’m willing to end this relationship if you honestly feel that I will hurt you in the future because I don’t want to be the reason you can’t trust me anymore.
Something along those lines. The importance is that you take her physically away from her friend to get her emotions in order and more focused on you.
Girl. Get an IUD. My wife LOVED not getting periods for years. And it was easy to remove When we wanted to get pregnant.
This guy is a horrible partner and father. He is selfish and unmotivated. Go to the wedding yourself and contemplate on what you want from your future. Here’s a hint: it should not include him.
You shouldn’t have to do anything, your boyfriend should be dealing with his mom.
This is actually such a great question! I hope that my answer will satisfy you. Disclaimer: I'm by no means an expert in this field, so take every scientific fact that I tell you with a grain of salt.
Basically, this is a brain disorder in which several areas of the brain are overly connected which causes some stimuli (mostly noises, but in my case also painted nails) to trigger unwanted behaviors, such as the discomfort I'm experiencing. The root cause for why these areas are overly connected is unknown, but in most cases (of misophonia at least), there are early memories of experiencing this discomfort for the first few times, which might be the root cause.
For me personally, I have many such memories and I'd like to share 4 of them. I've never told them to anyone except my therapist, not even my family and GF (she'll know them now though), but now that this post is mostly dead, I don't mind sharing them with you too. I'm not entirely sure about the ages, but I think I was 4-9 yo in all of those stories.
I actually started being repulsed more by lipstick than nail polish. One possible reason is that my grandma always gave me kisses with her lipstick and I hated that. But what I really hated the most was the unnatural look of painted lips and nails. I just couldn't wrap my head around why someone would want to alter the color of their lips or nails to look so unnatural. Over time, the repulsion from lipstick mostly faded away.
Related to the previous memory, during kindergarten I remember one day that some parent came and started giving manicures to all of the kids, including the boys. I hated that day so much and I still keep a note which I wrote that day in which I expressed how disappointed I was from all the boys who decided to indulge in such a degrading activity. I can share it privately if you want for some reason, but it's not in English.
Whenever my nails were in need for trimming, my mom would always tease me that she'll paint my nails if I won't trim them down. I remember simply hating the thought of someone having to paint his nails just because they were slightly longer.
My uncle's ex-wife always had long painted nails which I really hated and apparently also expressed it verbally to her. I didn't know that till I met her a few years ago after more than 10 years of not seeing her, and the first thing that she said to me was that she stopped painting her nails because of me (she really loved me).
I don't know how fucked up this all sounds or how many will read this, but I hope this made my situation a bit more clearer. If you want to know more about it, try to read about misophonia (a very similar and more common condition). There are plenty of good resources live and a fantastic subreddit about it.
She sounds very broken. It’s better for her to be single and work on herself for now. You did nothing wrong. Find someone with less baggage.