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Date: November 20, 2022
AmateurPub
You need to run. Your gut feeling is not lying to you, this is all extremely concerning, and statistically pregnancy is a milestone for abusers to show themselves or become worse. Having the baby will worsen his control further. I can almost guarantee you he won't be letting you work after the baby either if you stay.
He seems to be escalating isolation tactics as you raise concerns so I recommend that you stop raising concerns, make a plan and get out. Do you have anyone you can call? Any family or friends? Worry about your money later, you can legally get it back but it may be a process. If you feel comfortable working pregnant I recommend part of your escape plan involving finding a new job; I somehow doubt returning to his friend's shop will work out well.
Luckily you seem like your mental red flags are all waving themselves, so hopefully these comments won't need to convince you that his behavior is not okay and instead provide some possible steps forward for you. I really hope you take them!
Also, this is entirely your choice, but if it is not too late and in your interest, maybe consider an abortion. He is going to try and make your life a living hell through your shared child regardless if you leave him or not, and if you leave him it may be easier to not have that permanent link. Again, only if that's something that you're comfortable with and would make you feel safer.
You’re not going to like what I say but it sounds like you kinda rushed into living together. Even though, you’ve spent a year traveling together, there’s a difference between a year away from stress, work/school and a year in “your natural habitat” ie back to reality. You should trust your guts. Always.
Thank you for your advice… i talked to my best friend about this situation but he didn't give me helpful advice like you did.
I think it would be best to “forget” about the other girl, but it's very hot for me to deal with those feelings- it's my first (“real”) relationship and i always had a tendency to have a crush on more than one person at a time… i understand if this isn't relatable to a lot of people, but i struggle with how i feel (in terms of love) and don't know how to handle it.
A physical Journal would be better in my case as i only see my gf on weekends due to long distance. I don't want to overcomplicate this but regarding my emotions i just feel helpless in dealing with it.
He is the kind of guy who used to sleep around with women.
I don't see what's so special about this. People are allowed to have a past. If this is something that is unacceptable to you based on his past, you can choose not to date him.
After we started dating, he stopped
Ok.
his actions make me
So this is a you thing.
That’s true, but op needs to get over their insecurities. I cannot imagine telling a guy to end a friendship they’ve had half their life due to my insecurities. And the fact that the husband agreed to it, the friend is better off without that guy as a friend.
Exactly! Especially with something this intense and after no prior ramping up session. Like, maybe start with a “hey can I blindfold you with this soft cloth?”. Nope, first ask is straight to the fully bound, gagged, and TAPED eyes.
And then the “aftercare” is being ignored on the couch with zero context, gentle contact, or dialog. No emotional or physical support.
OP, this sounds traumatizing. Again, you were not treated as a friend here, but a thing to be toyed with and your health was in danger. Please be cautious!