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Megancandy Public Chat Channel
Date: December 17, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
Megancandy Public Chat Channel
Thank you so much, I completely get it about the “don’t rock the boat” thing, that’s how I have lived a lot of my life.
If your wife does not want you to pee in the shower – so be it, don’t pee in the shower. It is not unreasonable from her side to think it is gross.
Kicking you out of the house for it… that’s quite something different. That reaction pattern to any disagreement is the problem at hand.
I wouldn't say women have been convinced that promiscuity is empowering, women are just acting more like men now (IE sexual freedom, do they they chose)
I just read your post history and you need to get out! This has turned into a hostile and negative environment fast for everyone including her children whom you say you love. You should try to reach out to your family, or maybe a friend and find a place you can stay. Find a counselor if you can. Even though she's pregnant it shouldn't mean anyone should be going through abuse. You can love and be in your children's lives without having to be in an abusive environment.
Exactly.
I’m sorry but mental illness is not ever an excuse for verbal, emotional, or physical abuse. If you’re murdered by someone and they have a mental illness such as hoarding or OCD or ADD, then they are innocent because of their mental illness? The MIL does not have dementia or psychosis or a lot schizophrenic tendencies. How do I make this assumption, she verbal attacked the kids in secret and when discovered she hid it. She also has great memory (giving her card). She also was assumably “scolded” by her son which is why she reacted negatively to her DIL and left the room. That’s her knowing right from wrong. Stop excusing her behavior.
OP. If you did not see all the red flags while writing this, nobody can help you.
She was already well into her 20s when we learned she was autistic, so, no autistic-specific programming, no. She seemed to be developing OK. We did give her therapy. This all happened around or shortly before the time Aspergers started to be well known (which was her original diagnosis). Another element of her problem is an overdependence on weed, which impaired her own adult development of interpersonal skills because any conflict just led to her bong or her vape pen. I went with her to a psychiatry appointment to voice my concern about the weed, and he opined that removing herself from all noxious stimuli rather than trying to habituate to them just made them worse. (You can agree or disagree.) I stay out of her business for the past 8-10 years.
Get help
He’s 46 years old. It’s not like he’s suddenly going to grow up.
She rejected you. There's no winning her over. Let it go. I understand it sucks but there's a fine line between “trying to win them over” and harassing them. it seems you have a difficult time reading someone so I suggest stopping now before you get in trouble over your inability to read a room.
They're being babies. Height is part of someone's body/appearance. Would they say it's picky to choose to date people you're physically attracted to?
height shaming
It really is not height shaming. You didn't say “being tall is good and being short is bad,” you expressed a dating preference. They asked!
Your friends are absolutely being babies because you hurt their wittle egos.
I honestly feel like he would have nothing to do with our child if it wasn’t for me and the relationship. He is left before for six months and I had no contact with her. And saying that out loud just makes it really real now. I’m starting to see a lot by this as you can tell.
Thank you so much, that is really helpful. I appreciate the advice
Shit homie, this is tough and I'm afraid you're not gonna like what you hear. She was taken aback by what you said, went silent for a day, and then started sorta talking to you again. As soon as she said, “Don't plan your weekend round me,” my heart fell. I've been in this situation before, and she's letting you down slowly. The worst thing you can do is push this now. She needs time and space to figure this out, and you pushing is only going to push her away more. Good luck, and don't ever feeled shamed or embarrassed by your kinks. Maybe next time just, keep that info private until a more suitable setting.
Wait what exactly did your therapist say? and why was he out of town? and did he not spend the holidays with you?
No problem. Best of luck to you and stay strong!
He sounds awful. What redeeming qualities does he have?
I just about had a stroke reading this when I opened the post and my eyes immediately saw the “don’t stop n-word”….
I’m on mobile but it felt like: man stumbling out of trailer down steps meme
You have 2 choices in this matter.
1) Stay: If you want to stay. You both need Therapy. For him it's to see why he's so angry and cold. You need therapy to understand why you need to leave this relationship.
2) Is to leave because it's only going to get worse. This is how you may end up on a metal platter at the morgue if you catch me drift.
Move on and take this as a learning experience for what you don't want in the next relationship. Get some real therapy, not one that's going to just make you feel right but learn your pathology and why you do the things you do. You learned this kind of thing from your family and adults you've been around while developing into who you are now.
That reaction doesn't just happen when it's “appropriate”, that's kind of a weird thing to say.
OK I went back and reread your original message . Sorry if I misunderstood what you were asking.
Exactly. Because of this one specific meeting (which was arranged in advance), no one has ever ever ever gone to a meeting where they didn't know the topic. ?
Honestly, I don’t think it’s that selfish. You know that it wouldn’t be a good environment to raise a child and you don’t get along with the mother. That kid will end up needing therapy and feel miserable. I’m sure it’s not a decision you’re making lightly either. I’m sure it doesn’t make you happy to be in this position. You’re doing what’s best for the kid and for the both of you, even if she can’t see it yet. Yeah, it’s a little selfish in a way, but it’s also a great sacrifice that you’re willing to make to ensure that no one suffers unnecessarily. Kudos to you.
So I don't know if this helps, but I've been in a relationship with someone with long-term depression. I had definite times when I didn't have the energy to deal with the other person's problems, and had to prioritise my own happiness. If that means zoning out with some friends and playing some games now and then, fine. My advice is you can't see the person you're with as an infinite source of happiness and stability. They're not your nurse or your carer. If this is a new thing and he's genuinely ignoring you while you're having a crisis, then yes that's a bit shit. But if it's a more regular pattern then he may just be protecting himself and looking after his own well being.
It sounds like he's trying to justify using the word.
You likely have very different ideas of what disrespect entails and looks like. I’ve been with my husband for 15 years and we’re younger than both of you (for the people talking about how young you were when you got together). I don’t think I would be able to control an eye roll if I tried. If anything, a quick rolling of the eyes is an automatic reaction/response. There is a much more exaggerated and drawn out slow rolling of the eyes, and yeah I’d probably find that a bit disrespectful. But a quick ? with a sigh or “ugh” would be completely uncontrollable.
Why is this even a question bin him
10 years? And she’s still living rent-free in your head? Girl, move on. She clearly won’t accept you and just wants nothing to do with y’all.
Damn calm down
I wont say I’m nude but I’m not too shabby so maybe you’re on to something here buddy.
In all seriousness,good luck to you. Something has obviously happened to you in the past to give you this fucked up worldview and you should probably think about therapy and/or medication. You gotta advocate for yourself before you expect anyone else to.
Wake up one morning and berate her for cheating on you… In a dream. After being cold to her all day maybe explain to her how you don't appreciate that treatment either.
Thank you. I guess after 23 years together which is my entire adult life, I am trying to convince myself there is nothing to worry about
Yeah, you’re right! I’ve just suffered so much already and, even though I tried to help myself from getting invested into this, I know I’ve already failed. It just felt like a safe bet cause we’d always liked each other and now I don’t know what to do with this… I guess I’ll ask him to see him again and talk about how I feel
If she doesn't feel comfortable with a partner who is capable of such extreme violence, that's nude to get passed. The best I can suggest is to seek therapy, if you genuinely want to disect why you let yourself become so violent. If that isn't something you are comfortable with, or if it's something you simply don't believe you need or are interested in pursuing, then you may just have to accept you aren't the right person for her.
If she doesn't feel comfortable with a partner who is capable of such extreme violence, that's nude to get passed. The best I can suggest is to seek therapy, if you genuinely want to disect why you let yourself become so violent. If that isn't something you are comfortable with, or if it's something you simply don't believe you need or are interested in pursuing, then you may just have to accept you aren't the right person for her.
Time to find someone else and move on. I've dated girls like her, they'll find their “perfect guy”. It'll tear up your psyche trying to be that guy.
It's been a thought in my head from the jump. Trust me.
It's not the worst age gap ever…depends where you both are in life, and what you both are looking for. I know people in their young twenties more mature and put together than people in their 40s. Just beware a power dynamic. You're not like a kid or anything, but just keep your eyes open for him trying to subtly change your behavior.
It’s incredibly rude if the person feels like it’s too personal, which they do… read the post!
I can’t belie that you think it’s alright to tell someone their relationship is ‘not real’ and their partner is just using them for sex if they don’t like to go out! That’s not ‘concern’ – it’s rude and cruel.
Let people run their relationships the way they want to. If you think a friend is being assaulted, you can say something. Or if you catch the partner cheating, you can say something.
Otherwise… just don’t go and tell your friends you don’t think their relationship is real because they don’t follow the rules YOU think they should.
Introverts prefer to stay in. There are millions of us, too – it’s actually NOT anything unusual at all.
You are being expected to consider his feelings in addition to all the other shit you have to do.
That’s extra work you do not have time or energy for.
Learn to enjoy yourself and things you liked in the past. Your happiness shouldn't be dependent on a person, even though breakups suck
So he never supported you. If you are the one getting take out because you cannot cook because of your period, then he isn't doing shit. He is not even cooking or figuring out the take out.