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Date: November 24, 2022
AmateurPub
I just brought it up with him and he says he will consider it, the only thing is he doesn’t have a car, so I usually drive him to where he needs to go or his parents do, he said he’s thinking of getting a job soon but he lives an hour away from me, so if he moves in with me he probably won’t be too keen on quitting his job after like a month to find a job that’s closer, and my job is 30 minuets in the other direction which is already a far drive for me, so it would be so much of a hassle.
I told him that maybe we should figure out the moving situation before he looks for a job and he said ok however he wants to find a job after Christmas and I don’t wanna rush him to figure it out so I’m a tad stressed
Excuse me, no. You do not know my life story but I understand that people on the internet when they aren’t aware of something always assume the worst so I understand why you may see me as a spoilt rich kid etc. but I’m not, my college isn’t being paid for I’m on a loan, it’s my form that’s being paid for number one. Number two, I’m not exaggerating when i say I’ll be homeless because she’s spoken to my distance relatives and said she will not let me in if I drop out as well as block me from contacting her.
I’ve already stated I get that it’s maybe a bit much for her and there’s been times where I’ve kept silent but it’s getting too much for me to bear. You shouldn’t have to question whether or not you should be alive because of a degree?
Whilst i completely understand the empahsis to join clubs etc. I am already on a gym plan that I am paying for btw but because im too tired/busy/weak to get up out of bed I can’t go, why do I still keep paying? Because im trying my best and have hope I will be able to go back one day, I’ve joined clubs and unfortunately the uni I go to is a predominantly white one and when I spoke to the school councillor about it she even said she understands the marginalisation and feeling unwelcome or uncomfortable in societies and that it’s been this way for centuries.
This isn’t a pity party, I am trying and noting down practical advice from people to get myself help. What you’re doing is trying to manipulate me or paint me out to be someone I’m not but hey that’s what I get for seeking help, so I don’t blame you.
Thank you very much The thing is that she is not like this when she is not high I dont want to do anything drastic
I don't know if you'll ever see this comment, and tbh, it'll probably get lost in the masses.. but I get bet most people didn't address this:
That bit where you talk about how you shouldn't have to mention that Michael is gay, and that your husband should just trust you 100% without having someone weird “well it would be impossible to be with him because he's gay” and that's the only reason Fred seemed to “come to his senses” and “trust” you on this– is a LITTLE troubling. I wholeheartedly agree with you that ⬆️ shouldn't be skipped over. Your feelings are valid in this, please remember that.
This is one of those situations where it's like– did ⬆️ this situation upset (the one you wrote originally) you so much that you don't think you can be with this man? I assume it's been at least a day since it's happened, so you have had at least some time to sleep on it. If the answers yes, just go ahead and go with calling the engagement off. If the answer is NO, I personally think some counseling is in order, or maybe some therapy? At the least, maybe your fiance never shared with you their past, maybe they were cheated on a serial amount of times, and just puts on this tough guy facade, and doesn't count those relationships. It really sounds like he's got some deep rooted jealousy that needs to be talked about.
It is not appropriate to go through someone's phone without their permission. Trust is a crucial component of any healthy relationship and going through your girlfriend's phone undermines that trust. Instead of looking for evidence to confirm your suspicions, it would be more productive to communicate openly with your girlfriend about your concerns. If you are concerned about her relationship with her ex, you should talk to her about it directly. It is not fair to invade her privacy or accuse her of doing something wrong without giving her the opportunity to explain herself. If you are unable to resolve your concerns through open and honest communication, it may be helpful to seek support from a therapist or counselor.
Well if you’re already jumping to her cheating in the future after only 3 months then this is very much a “you” problem.
If you don’t think you can trust her then do her a favour and break up because you’re insulting her with your assumptions.
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It wasn't an accident. He chose to cheat on you.
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That’s an excuse. They are indirectly saying that they don’t want her to live with you. Read between the lines
Right? A lot of lenders won't even extend a mortgage to a couple that aren't married or don't have any plans to marry. Maybe that's just kind of a local thing (however my lender is one of the big ones), but it's a huge risk for them to take.
She isn’t in love with him my dude. She is asking herself why she didn’t want to married her when they were together for 9 years and he decide to marry within a year after meeting the new girl.
The thing is the guy was young back then and most guys want to settle down on their late 20 or early 30. She should take that into consideration. It wasn’t that she wasn’t enough. It was that he wasn’t ready and he is ready now that he feels old.
Your GF lacks empathy and is very immature. You can not leave a baby or an adult with feces or urine in a diaper. It’s inhumane and can result in rashes and infections. You did the right thing. Your GF lacks compassion too, You need to think about this relationship.
That’s fine if that’s your life path but others have it different. No one is following the same path. Brain maturing at 25 doesn’t mean much when there are people who act appropriately at 20-21 or people who are 33 and childish.
I’m not advocating people get married early but you keep saying this stuff like everyone should only be 25+ when they get married. If you feel strongly about it why not demand it be law?
You can Google that, it's on every real estate website
I was just light heartedly trying to say yea she is gorgeous to answer the question. She has a harem of men waiting in line to date her and she makes this known. I didn’t like her just for that though, I liked the person she presented herself as in the first 6 months. But you’re right, i can see how it seems low level of me to comment on her looks
Been there myself, they always end up badly, please save yourself the trauma and end this
it’s just so complicated that I’d have to write out a 5 page essay. But yeah I’m aware, thank you though.
Your kid comes first. A baby suckling and getting no milk is not okay- that's a stressful and confusing thing for a baby. There are a hundred healthy ways she could be bonding with her child and is hyper-focusing on the one thing that is gendered that she can't do. That's about her, not the child, and your child is not a prop.
I'd start marriage counseling and ask her to go to counseling asap/
Could you clarify a little what you meant? We were coworkers for a little under a year and he was always smiling at me and blushing and I thought he was interested in me. We’d chat about mundane stuff (work, video games, nerdy music). Neither of us ever mentioned our attraction to the other. I’m assuming based on his behavior that he was at least a little interested in me.
This is one ONE bad /problematic thing about this person. Everything else is really great
You don't know if it's fair? No, it is not fair. By all accounts, he's using you. It may not be malicious in nature, but he's using you.
I'm a lot older and I'm trying to stay open minded here, but I think it needs to be stated – this living arrangement is not ok. I don't see how it's healthy in the slightest for a 26 year old to be living at home, someone else's home, with zero work ethic or prospects. I'm almost positive I wouldn't allow my own kid to live like this, let alone someone else's kid.
You're not his mom, you know this. You also have to know this is not an acceptable situation for you or your mother. You need to find a way for you to move out and if he's not going to help, he can go leach off of someone else. You have your own life to live!.
I know right! It's just that there are a lot of factors in the situation and I also made mistakes, so I was kinda torn on what to do. Thanks for your input.
Nah, he’s gonna have to modify his custody arrangement and that requires an actual lawyer, not someone playing one on Reddit.
Your over-use of clichés in an attempt to deflect from your shitty behavior is almost comical; “One thing led to another…” “We couldn't stop ourselves.” Hysterical. You absolutely could've stopped yourselves at any point before engaging in a sexual affair. One thing did not lead to another, you both decided that your sexual desires were more important than your commitment to your spouses. You're both trash and you deserve one another. Congratulations!
The fact it took you YEARS to meet his friends because of social anxiety is ridiculous
Cuz he’s sexist, ignore
You are absolutely not ready to be married if you are not on the same page about these things.
At least a couple of them
That awkward moment when your wife has a terrible mother so you double down and tell her she's just like her mother – and by extension telling her that she would be a bas mother.. and you think she wants to discuss having kids with you?