Both men and women go through depression differently and it takes different tolls on relationships.
I'm happy that you are improving and looking to do more. It's a great sign, but she hasn't gotten there yet, and that's holding you back.
It's naked to give advice on this but I honestly would recommend talking to her about your relationship and seeing where you stand together. What does she want and think? Maybe try being intimate or taking her out on a date to relight the fire.
But, if that doesn't work or whatever plan you figure out to try and help her or get things going again as a couple, I'd say it's probably over. Depression sucks and it changes people. It sucks to move on but sometimes leaving a specific environment and moving to new pastures helps improve both parties. You deserve to be happy and even though you love her, moving on might be the best option.
Mary and I are both 28. We have talked about this tension before when both of us were single. She talks real big about things that could happen then suddenly pushes me away before anything significant can happen. Even this latest time there was a bit of discussion, but it didn’t go very deep due to my relationship status.
I honestly felt it was just a casual visit until it wasn’t. I do understand what you mean by “setting myself up for failure.” I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks for your insight.
They was fucking and still are , you wont be invited to those trips because you will be in his way of his sex life and relationship with C. Move on and find better.
He's trying to justify cheating on you because he was “in a bad place” He knew exactly what he was doing when he cheated. If he was honest he would have told you right away instead of lying to you for 5 years.
You clearly do because you’re taking OP verbatim at his word. Hey you know the comments also aren’t necessarily accurate right? Stop making judgements about your own gender based on Reddit you misogynistic pick Me,
Yes school is a thing. As someone who definitely has kids you would think you know this.
That's a good place to start. If you don't communicate your wants and needs, how will he ever know how to meet them? He may be focusing on the conversation in stead of the initiating.
To draw a comparison the other way around, some women complain that their partners don't initiate sex anymore, while they don't concider that they too CAN. And the partners on their side want their gfs to initiate, but they forgot, or left out communicating that.
You COULD let him initiate the next conversation. OR you could be straight forward, and get an answer sooner. “Hey, I feel like I'm the only one initiating our conversations, and I find it a bit confusing, because our talks are so good when we have them. I think it would help my feelings if you also tried to initiate conversations from time to time.”
There are two outcomes. He does, and you have your answer
He doesn't, and you have your answer.
If he wants to, he will, but he can't know how you pick up interest if you don't tell him.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I was with my ex for 8 years too, and we split up 18 months ago.
It was the same as you, we just weren’t right for each other long term. I love him so so much as a friend though, he’s family to me.
I’m sorry some people in your life don’t get it. Love doesn’t just go away, it changes and evolves and when nothing bad happened except drifting apart then OF COURSE you love him!
Do whatever is right for you and your family, and if other people don’t understand then that’s on them
The man who's already not spending enough time with his son will not get custody.
You are afraid and in shock right now, you need to go see a lawyer and know aboit your options. Also remember to keep screenshots of him sexting and all other communication with you
It's just an opinion. What's weird to some might be fine for others. I'm not comfortable sleeping in a bed with a family member who's close in age, even though I know there aren't any intentions. It's not something everyone does or is okay with
look man, you can obviously buy whatever house you want, but she clearly believes that you have a future together and if she thinks she’s going to be with you for the rest of her life, it’s not crazy for her to have opinions about somewhere she would be living for a long time (i mean, i assume you would probably be living there for quite a while). if you don’t feel the same way and think she’s making some incorrect assumptions about how serious the relationship is, then you should tell her so.
Don’t take him back. He’s jealous and controlling and honestly not worth your time.
But he isn’t doing that….
Both men and women go through depression differently and it takes different tolls on relationships.
I'm happy that you are improving and looking to do more. It's a great sign, but she hasn't gotten there yet, and that's holding you back.
It's naked to give advice on this but I honestly would recommend talking to her about your relationship and seeing where you stand together. What does she want and think? Maybe try being intimate or taking her out on a date to relight the fire.
But, if that doesn't work or whatever plan you figure out to try and help her or get things going again as a couple, I'd say it's probably over. Depression sucks and it changes people. It sucks to move on but sometimes leaving a specific environment and moving to new pastures helps improve both parties. You deserve to be happy and even though you love her, moving on might be the best option.
Leave him, take your loss
It’s been more but I can’t really say that stuff on Reddit
and, you’re probably right. To be honest, I knew she is bi. I’m bi too, but I’m not poly
Nope. That’s a lie.
Mary and I are both 28. We have talked about this tension before when both of us were single. She talks real big about things that could happen then suddenly pushes me away before anything significant can happen. Even this latest time there was a bit of discussion, but it didn’t go very deep due to my relationship status.
I honestly felt it was just a casual visit until it wasn’t. I do understand what you mean by “setting myself up for failure.” I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks for your insight.
Not sure if there's anything you can do to fix that callous disregard for human decency. It's sad he showed his true colors now and not 7 years ago.
No, no, a million times, no.
She could have been plumb crazy, or there is a reason she was THAT persistent in no contact.
Seems they pressed real naked to make contact.
There are only a few reasons that family will be cut off.
Assume the worst and ask yourself if you're ok with potentially enabling said “worst”.
A million times, no.
u/throwaway4w429, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.
The right way to do it is to create a brand new Reddit account that begins with ThrowRA.
Please create a new account that starts with ThrowRA in the username and try again. Please note that we will not make exceptions to this rule.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
They was fucking and still are , you wont be invited to those trips because you will be in his way of his sex life and relationship with C. Move on and find better.
I understand. Thank you for clarifying.
He's trying to justify cheating on you because he was “in a bad place” He knew exactly what he was doing when he cheated. If he was honest he would have told you right away instead of lying to you for 5 years.
There you go again.
You clearly do because you’re taking OP verbatim at his word. Hey you know the comments also aren’t necessarily accurate right? Stop making judgements about your own gender based on Reddit you misogynistic pick Me,
Yes school is a thing. As someone who definitely has kids you would think you know this.
Sorry man but you don't get to call it a false charge. You were convinced of a crime in a court of law by a jury of your peers.
If they found you guilty then you are guilty. Sadly once convicted the only way to overrule that is to find new evidence clearing your name.
It bothers me when convicts do this. It suggests to me you haven't paid back your debt to society. 12 isn't for nothing either.
What did you get put away for op. What's this “false charge”?
That's a good place to start. If you don't communicate your wants and needs, how will he ever know how to meet them? He may be focusing on the conversation in stead of the initiating.
To draw a comparison the other way around, some women complain that their partners don't initiate sex anymore, while they don't concider that they too CAN. And the partners on their side want their gfs to initiate, but they forgot, or left out communicating that.
You COULD let him initiate the next conversation. OR you could be straight forward, and get an answer sooner. “Hey, I feel like I'm the only one initiating our conversations, and I find it a bit confusing, because our talks are so good when we have them. I think it would help my feelings if you also tried to initiate conversations from time to time.”
There are two outcomes. He does, and you have your answer
He doesn't, and you have your answer.
If he wants to, he will, but he can't know how you pick up interest if you don't tell him.
She's using simple manipulation.
You deserve better. The right relationship will feel good.
Investing into someone unworthy tarnishes both your efforts and self respect
You can do better. So many others out there.
You need to know for what?! You're doing too much and should be more focused on your children and wife.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I was with my ex for 8 years too, and we split up 18 months ago.
It was the same as you, we just weren’t right for each other long term. I love him so so much as a friend though, he’s family to me.
I’m sorry some people in your life don’t get it. Love doesn’t just go away, it changes and evolves and when nothing bad happened except drifting apart then OF COURSE you love him!
Do whatever is right for you and your family, and if other people don’t understand then that’s on them
Send the gift.
The man who's already not spending enough time with his son will not get custody.
You are afraid and in shock right now, you need to go see a lawyer and know aboit your options. Also remember to keep screenshots of him sexting and all other communication with you
Walk away and find someone nice your own age.
Walk away and find someone nice your own age.
Walk away and find someone nice your own age.
It's just an opinion. What's weird to some might be fine for others. I'm not comfortable sleeping in a bed with a family member who's close in age, even though I know there aren't any intentions. It's not something everyone does or is okay with
look man, you can obviously buy whatever house you want, but she clearly believes that you have a future together and if she thinks she’s going to be with you for the rest of her life, it’s not crazy for her to have opinions about somewhere she would be living for a long time (i mean, i assume you would probably be living there for quite a while). if you don’t feel the same way and think she’s making some incorrect assumptions about how serious the relationship is, then you should tell her so.
Your brother didn't create any problems.
The “problem” is 100% a figment of your husband's (disturbed) imagination.
If you apologize, you're validating his delusions. That might smooth things over in the short term, but it also might re-enforce the behavior.