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MartaCcam Public Chat Channel
Date: October 16, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
MartaCcam Public Chat Channel
Washington, d.c. during summer. It was a school research trip.
Well… the rest of the people here are right that he's a loser. The way you entered the relationship wasn't appropriate – that's manipulation.
I, however, gave a honest try to find ANYTHING redeemable about him but couldn't – sorry.
That's genuinely a whole lot harder in alot of areas than one would think, because where I'm from most friendships start young based on social class
? your child have a mom and grandma at the same time
He’s cheating on you and actively going to gay bars in order to do so. He doesn’t love you the way you love him. He keeps lying so it’s very hard to believe he’s not lying about using protection and it doesn’t work always anyways. He likes men, you’re just convenient for him. May be harsh but it’s true, you can do better. If you stay, it’s going to keep happening.
He's proven to you repeatedly he's a liar and now he's a cheat too. Do you really believe this was the only time? Even if it was could you ever really trust him again? A relationship without trust us doomed.
then she sends me a text asking how am I, I said I’m upset with you and I don’t even wanna see you she goes why I said you literally told me you won’t cheat or choose someone else next to me why are you kissing him in a pic if ur single she goes listen I didn’t wanna kiss him he caught me off guard and I wasn’t even the one who took the pic why do you think I’m not even smiling when he kissed me I didn’t like it after he kissed I yelled, then I said why did u post it she goes I didn’t he knows my snap and insta he posted it then I said this is why I don’t wanna deal with girls who have dangerous exes she goes you don’t have to be scared of him.
but I can’t tell is she playing me? Like is she using me?
He has a pattern of making bad choices when drinking, so yeah she has a reason to be worried
So you still went behind realBFs back in the end. So now you're liers and cheaters. Just tell realBF is she doesn't want to
You’re definitely right. I’ll ask him
Thanks a lot. I guess breaking up when doing the same job would be really hard. We would practically work in the same office.. And as for not accepting the job and giving the relationship a go anyway, I considered it but the contract is 4 years, so I don't think it's a good idea.
Okay, we agree on two things. I can’t find any fault in that. ?
Yeah, after reading all that, you sound very immature for your age and very selfish. It’s not his fault that he can’t read your mind or that you never had the courage to express your true feelings for him. It sounds like he’s been nothing but kind to you and treated you like a true friend and you’re mad at him and treating him poorly because he doesn’t know you’re in love with him. You need to grow up and act like an adult instead of a child that didn’t get their way. You need to let him know why you’re treating him poorly and then find out how he feels. It may end the friendship, but the way you’re acting might’ve done that already.
THis may be an unpopular take but I don't think you were “venting” to your best friend- it was more like you were experiencing serious mental health issues and using your friend at that time in a role better suited for a trained therapist. For her to not know how to handle everything perfectly that she was hearing from you, esp during a period of life/death crisis, makes sense. But it sounds like she still stuck it out with you and tried. I'd start reframing it and looking at the situation from that perspective.
I'd talk to your current therapist about the situation and then bring it up calmly but separately to both of them to clear the air.
Exactly. If he had put half as much energy into his relationship with Mary that he did with his boss, they might not have drifted apart.
You don’t have to psychoanalyze someone’s kinks. She likes what she likes.
Just catch his next wedding, love.
hes the one that cheated. if he isnt willing to do whatever you need to make you trust him again then im sorry but youre never going to get to that point because he’s still acting untrustworthy.
Sorry for all the transphobes downvoting all the well wishes. People have to be pretty unhappy to hate the idea of your story getting love and support. All the luck and love to you in the future.
No, you want to know the truth to be nosy. What you consider minor could be life altering for someone else. It isn’t your place to decide how to handle this situation; your husband has picked the path in conjunction with Rose’s mom. It’s your job to respect that, not open who knows what kind of issues because you’re curious.
Oh, and YOU shouldn't feel disgusting! He's the disgusting p.o.s. for coercing and sexually assaulting you!
Yikes. If my SO wanted me to be there for anything, I would be. Alcoholism affects everyone around the person and this event could mean just as much to OP as the mom.
Id just tell your SO what it means to you OP. If she still wants to disregard it, then make your decision on if that's someone you can spend your life (or any amount of time) with.
I have alcoholism in my family so it's easy for me to relate. People who don't, sometimes can't fully wrap their heads around the effort and dedication it takes to overcome it. And so, it may – very innocently – just be miscommunication on how important this is to your family (if it is??).
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Thank you, I think that’s really beautiful.
Haha right? Men can’t write poems or express feelings. Only chug beer and root chicks. Grow up.
Useful solutions might include a bidet or baby wipes? But also yikes.
FWIW, every friend group that existed like this was broken up and completely done by the time people were married and started having kids. Drama isn't fun when you have a life. Cheaters like your best friend look far less trustworthy when you find someone to settle down with.
Let go of the lot of them. Speak your peace if you need to and then block them everywhere. In truth, they've distanced you for an entire year. Who have you been running with now? That's your new friend group anyway. I'd be tempted to your ex-friend that you don't want to hang out with her every weekend anymore. You hadn't noticed her or the group being distant and you've grown closer to others in their absence. You wish them all luck, but you've moved on to a new partner and new friends that you'd rather invest your time and energy in. I used to tell people like this: “I can't turn back the clock. It was a great time with X and you and I hung out all the time, but those days are long gone and we can't recreate them now.”
I completely get the fear of pushing him towards more extreme behavior, but I’d do something to make it clear you’re not interested.
Start with the food issue. Make it clear that it’s disruptive to your life and needs to be corrected, and suggest he do this before you have to deal with it otherwise like you’ll start tossing the food/complain to the landlord about disruptive behavior/etc. I’d stop letting him know about it too, he ordered it, he can find it. He’s trying to engage you, don’t give in.
The meeting can be shut down too. If he approaches with the prospect of it being a friendly coffee or something- tell him you’re too busy to fit him in and not looking for new friends atm. If he says it’s business related (given LinkedIn and idea) say you’re not qualified/overworked/not meant to do your job outside of work channels/whatever is most plausible and suggest he find another company to work with.
I’d definitely keep the journal of his behaviors so you have a log of times and dates.
Hopefully this should curb any further problems without it being triggering for more aggressive tactics, but if he continues and brings up info he’s not meant to have- I’d call it out immediately. Not aggressively or scared (which is valid) but kind of just curious and confused “how’d you know I’m from __ town? I’ve never mentioned that” in addition to lie to prevent him from knowing more. Don’t leave question on your stance (“I don’t think I’ve ever said”) so if he argues, you can leave it at (“no I don’t ever mention that, odd you know. “) it doesn’t have to go further than that but enough that he’s aware he’s being too forward.
If you can get your gay friend to come spend time and pretend to be your bf, especially after laying down boundaries it might be helpful since that’s when he might push to more obvious forced interaction.
I completely get the fear of pushing him towards more extreme behavior, but I’d do something to make it clear you’re not interested.
Start with the food issue. Make it clear that it’s disruptive to your life and needs to be corrected, and suggest he do this before you have to deal with it otherwise like you’ll start tossing the food/complain to the landlord about disruptive behavior/etc. I’d stop letting him know about it too, he ordered it, he can find it. He’s trying to engage you, don’t give in.
The meeting can be shut down too. If he approaches with the prospect of it being a friendly coffee or something- tell him you’re too busy to fit him in and not looking for new friends atm. If he says it’s business related (given LinkedIn and idea) say you’re not qualified/overworked/not meant to do your job outside of work channels/whatever is most plausible and suggest he find another company to work with.
I’d definitely keep the journal of his behaviors so you have a log of times and dates.
Hopefully this should curb any further problems without it being triggering for more aggressive tactics, but if he continues and brings up info he’s not meant to have- I’d call it out immediately. Not aggressively or scared (which is valid) but kind of just curious and confused “how’d you know I’m from __ town? I’ve never mentioned that” in addition to lie to prevent him from knowing more. Don’t leave question on your stance (“I don’t think I’ve ever said”) so if he argues, you can leave it at (“no I don’t ever mention that, odd you know. “) it doesn’t have to go further than that but enough that he’s aware he’s being too forward.
If you can get your gay friend to come spend time and pretend to be your bf, especially after laying down boundaries it might be helpful since that’s when he might push to more obvious forced interaction.
To be honest, unless everything is about him he tends to get angry.
Yikes, what do you get from a relationship with someone like that?
You have no idea how weird it was to see this comment.
For the past three days I have had the scene from the movie Inglorious Basterds where Christoph Waltz is making dealings with the Americans (Brad Pitt et al.) and proudly proclaims that very phrase only to be shot down immediately because he said it wrong.
It will stream into my consciousness like 5 or 6 times a day and I literally have no idea why this keeps happening and why that scene or movie, it’s not even a favourite of mine.
And then I see this comment. What are the dang chances of that?!
Brains and the universe are so weird.
You can be not pregnant in a couple days if you do the right thing.
It is a very big deal and you saying that he’ll get angry tells me that he’s not a good man for you. This is controlling and he’s abusive.
I think OP sucks but basically you go there to try what they're offering and not to get what you want. Probably the best experience you could ask for at one of these places is NOT getting what you want and having your mind blown.
He’s insecure.
Why? You don't have sex with her anyway, so it doesn't matter!! Why are you even married?
Trash apparently took itself out
I was honestly going to break up with her before finding out she was pregnant.
Break up with her still. If the situation wasn't salvageable before the pregnancy, I promise you a kid and all of the horribly difficult early pregnancy days won't be possible to navigate together.
Break up.
Sometimes the worst thing is when I start watching a show by myself and then I discover that my partner would love it too! Then I need to work out whether to stop and wait for him, or keep watching then get really impatient because I want to discuss with him and can’t…
Do not marry this woman. It doesn't seem like the relationship is stable enough to last.
I love my husband very, very much, but if he suddenly becomes insecure, suspicious, and jealous of a friendship that has spanned my entire adult life than he, and I have a lot to work on as a couple, as well as individuals. That would be because there is a serious breakdown in our ability to communicate, be open with, and trust each other. He would feel the same if I suddenly got suspicious of his friendship with one of his coworkers.
I dunno what was going through her head
You’re either a very committed troll poster or you’ve stuffed up majorly marrying someone as unhinged as her so young. Unsure which, but either way, yikes man.
Should I capitulate and apologize for defying him and plunging the toilet?
Absolutely fucking not.
Your husband is wrong about “stewing” the poo. If it's clogged, it has to be plunged to push the clog past the bends.
It is also extremely unhealthy to allow feces to sit and “marinate”. I am surprised y'all haven't gotten I'll from this disgusting habit of his.
Yeah I get that. I just feel like this is my fault somehow. I want to fix this and I want to just be happy but I’m not going to be able to with her am I?
I am not gonna try to influence you either way. It's your life.
Wow. You are with someone who told you not to quit vaping? That’s not okay and beyond selfish.
Okay thanks! I'm partway through that one. My favorite part of his books are the historical examples, and I found the story on Howard Hughes very gripping.
I have read The 48 Laws of Power so many times (mainly for the historical examples, not to chase power in my own life) that I was quite confident that quote was not to be found in it, haha. Glad to know I was right!
My favorite part though of Robert Greene is that he claimed he 'wooed' his partner (a very impressive lady in her own right) using techniques from the Art of Seduction. And her response “Yeah sure bub, whatever you say.”
Yeah no one slips up and says something dumb ever. Everything that ever comes out of someone’s mouth is something they should be held to and persecuted for. you sound exhausting.
It just sounds like he sucks at communicating. Have you told him that he needs to say something, defend the action or make an excuse for the action, he needs to communicate something to you about the issue.
Find out why he refuses to say something. If none of this works you have to decide if you can live with this behavior.
Exactly. Like this was a violation on her and his part. OP, you can’t act as though your friend was a predator and that she was not complicit. I can’t understand her intention being to surprise you. And I feel like he may have taken advantage but they both crossed a line here.
This is such a controlling mindset.
The idea that you are so insecure that another person saw your wife hard because she wanted to have erotic photos taken for you.
She didn't have sex with another person. She didn't cheat on you. She just had pictures taken for you to try and be sexy and your first response was to go to checks notes reddit for advice
We don't have to reverse the genders. OP is rightly getting roasted for being a trashy predator.
the discussion could go something along the lines of: hey, can you tell me what you consider cheating? what is your personal definition? where are your boundaries? what would make you uncomfortable?
for some people, simply their partner in a 2 piece bathing suit is crossing a boundary. For some, boudoir photo shoots are perfectly fine. for everyone, it’s different.
I agree…
Was good in the beginning, we bonded well until I had to move away and that’s when we became long distance. Wasn’t so bad first few weeks but now it’s seems like the flames are dying. I’m carrying this one on my back now. Not so great anymore, time to let it go ig
But who cares? It’s her body and her pleasure. If she doesn’t enjoy it, why does he need to do it? He doesn’t.
So far almost one year. I want to be independent financially and after maternity leave be back working. I am working now in a tech company and I would never resigned for it.
Me and my only serious, long term ex broke up about 2 years ago. We were together 7 years, same deal, I thought she was the one for so long, but the relationship soured for reasons I won't get in to and we both just broke it off.
Honestly? 3 months in and, for me at least, the pain hadn't even gotten as bad as it was going to get yet. Granted I probably hobbled my ability to process it by falling in to a year long very toxic rebound relationship almost immediately, but the honest to God truth is I found that nothing really helped me but time.
I tried to keep busy and start going out again, and the rebound helped somewhat, but I'd still think of her at night, dream about her, the pain was unreal.
But as time went on you just slowly forget. You start to heal. The most important step I made was breaking off the rebound and learning how to be on my own again. And the only way to do that was to just, be on my own, deal with the pain, life my life as best I could and wait for the pain to go away.
I know none of that is really helpful but this would be my advice to you, when the pain feels at its worst and you feel like nothing is ever going to make it go away, just please remind yourself this isn't forever. It does get easier and it does go away, just really, -really- remind yourself of that fact and dealing with it now might become a little more tolerable, it did for me at least