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oil om my beautiful body [GOAL MET]
Date: October 2, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
oil om my beautiful body [GOAL MET]
Accepting disrespect doesn't make you a grown up. OP has a low self esteem and doesn't yet realize that she deserves better than someone that would disrespect her and their family this way.
I haven't blown anything out of proportion – I simply stated what happened. He went behind her back to go to a strip club while she was on maternity leave, spent $800 on an excessively long lap dance (money that should've gone towards their family), consciously chose to continue hiding it from his partner and there were no signs that he ever planned on telling her.
Your comment consisted of assumptions to minimize her fiancé's inexcusable, pathetic actions, and attempts to frame OP as if she's done the same amount of damage by looking through his phone. You've got to be an absolute moron to truly believe that – low quality just like her fiancé.
Nah, man, there's a time and a place, this ain't it. Unless you've got consent from the bride and groom, but even then, you're not making your own moment, you're sort of just taking over someone else's.
Wish you good luck
everyone is so judgmental bc he decided to stay and work it out. i think those feelings were normal on both ends, i don’t think anyone is wrong here, and it seems like vulnerable communication happened here, whatever if two decided together is fine as long as you both agree to it, you’re not naive, i think it’ll make ur relationship stronger by being aware of these things
They are always so special aren't they? Such supportive good friends! So smart, right? So brilliant! Why should he tell her to go away? -sarcasm-
I have been there. Fuck him
Not that I know of, I’ll ask him
agree. sometimes experience is the best teacher.
my pleasure and take care!
I would contact her so she knows she is also being lied to, but also leave. I don't even trust him from your description. You can do better, I promise.
Your mentality is part of the problem. It takes two people working together to make a relationship work or not work. When you say that “it's not your job” that doesn't fly.
If you care about someone, it is your job to participate in the relationship.
I get that you are only 23, but the first thing you need to take a look at is your perspective. Check your ego and look at things from a different perspective.
Clearly not acting like adults are children. Grown adults are responsible for their own decisions in life.
Why would you want to defend someone who fundamentally thinks that your past decisions mean you are less than he is?
Will this hurt your daughter? No idea, cannot see the future. But being born in the US I assume she (the daughter) got citizenship, so doors are open for her. I would just try to keep in touch with your ex for your daughter's sake.
And be open to invite both your ex and your daughter to spend time with you, for as long as your daughter is too young to travel on her own.
You ARE being insecure. She is going to have friends and hobbies and you need to accept that.
If your wife kissed some dude you would be mad too.
OP doesn't know the age of the other person, it was a best guess. No need to be so rude
First of all I went after the words you used because they weren't true and you used them to paint me as a porn addict.
Straw-man.
Like saying I'm having withdrawals.
Who's gonna tell him?
Second when you Google porn addiction it only really shows you the extreme cases.
What in the world does that have to do with this conversation? We're not talking about the extreme cases were talking about you specifically resenting your girlfriend because you can't watch people fake orgasms?
This isn't me.
Yeah, I never said it was. I'm saying you've got a porn addiction. Not that you're neglecting responsibilities. I think you're on another planet of subjects right now. “well I actually don't have a porn addiction because I googled porn addiction and some people can't have sex” like ok??? What does that have to do with anything?
So I wanted to hear people's situation that are more similar to mine.
Yeah and I already told you that you came here to hear what you wanted twice already this same old argument that I've already shot down is getting boring.
I don't watch porn everyday and it doesn't dictate my life.
Well it clearly does if you're going to hold a bitterness toward your girlfriend if you don't watch it (and you actually cannot straw man argument the word bitter because that's a direct synonym for resent. Have fun trying to drag the fact that I used one different word)
I'm not going to say I'm not addicted because I'm not a doctor.
Yep, and again we've already been over the fact that you'd rather die than go see one. Can you please give a new argument that I haven't already called BS on yet?
But I'm not going to jump to that conclusion without trying to solve the issue with me and my wife.
Yep because you don't think you have a problem. Again, already been over that. You don't think you have a problem so you won't see a doctor. Come on I've already said this.
Or we could understand that depending on where you are from/who you are/what you’re doing/your body type etc. just because someone drinks more than a few drinks in a night doesn’t automatically mean someone has a drinking problem. Being judgmental to someone describing a nude night for does nothing productive. You don’t know that anyone has a drinking problem by hearing about one night lol And actually the parent comment on this thread said “drunk & rolling” & “taking rolls” which obviously is talking about taking ecstasy which is another drug so yes people are saying that they are taking other drugs lol
Run do not look back
You're in a difficult situation, I'm really sorry.
Part of having kids is realizing neither of you is the other's priority anymore. Not in a mean way, I don't mean nobody can stay in love after giving birth, but part of it is realizing (especially in your situation, where there's no support) that you can't spend time showering another person with love and affection while you're clothing, feeding, loving, teaching, and caring for small humans who are solely reliant on you for companionship and care.
No, there isn't going to be “magic” when the two of you are on an island and are hyper stressed and hormonal. Yes, you will both be dramatic. Yes, you'll yell and snap and “not mean it” because you're so insanely stressed.
There are a few things I'd advise though: 1. Any marriage, no matter how chaotic, can stay together if both people are determined to make it work. It doesn't need to be perfect, it doesn't need to be good even, you just need to both say “I want this marriage to work, I'm willing to forgive, forget, and compromise to make this last.” Now, is that the healthiest thing for you to do? Is that the best thing for you to do? Only you and your husband can decide that. And honestly, it's also ok to cut your losses, split up, and co-parent. Some people are better as friends, and children are much happier when their parents are happier. 2. A support system, no matter what you decide to do about your marriage, needs to be established. Find a group of young moms. Become better friends with people you know. Invite the in-laws over more. Whatever needs to be done, get more people in your life NOW. Humans are social beings, and being isolated is one of the biggest reasons we start going into things like depression and anxiety. Additionally, the nuclear family is a lie, children can't be raised by just their parents in isolation. You need grandparents, friends, aunts, uncles, friends, neighbors, etc to raise children effectively. Even if you split up (especially if you split up) a support group should be your first priority.
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I got no feedback for you but I just want to say that the part where you write, “you have to be doing it on purpose, there’s no way” cracks me up.
Or maybe I do—just enjoy her company and see where it goes. You’re plenty young to not worry about marriage. Just date her for the company and see if you grow together or apart.
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So I’m guessing the majority of her assets were accumulated before you married? So it makes sense that she’d want to leave her assets that she made before you to her kids.
That said I totally get the feeling of her bypassing you. You didn’t mention a house – do you guys own one? Does she have assets outside of the 401k that would be to you? (For example my brokerage and HSA account and iras are around 10-20% of my investments.) Does her ss benefit you at all? Would taking out another life insurance policy help to cover expenses?
Basically I think you’re not evil to bring up what happens to you if you die first and how you two should account for that. But asking for her to will 100% to you would fall under evil – if she does that you could decide after she dies to not give her kids a penny when you die.
My advice is to dump him. No matter what happens, he will use your “filthy” past as a scapegoat and excuse to do shitty awful things to you. You deserve so much better honey bunny.
“What are you doing that made him have to hit you?”
I have spelled out specific ways. I understand somethings will just never match, libidos for example. I do not pressure because the result will never be ideal. I dont want to guilt someone into being intimate with me and i dont want someone to go along just to appease me. But other things like participating in my hobbies, I feel, is important. I dont particularly care about fashion, but i stay current on exhibits coming to town or events happening, so we can go and bond on her interests, but never see that reciprocated. Not sure she even understands enough about me to plan something that includes my interests.
We have picked up some hobbies together. She likes diy and so do I but she always wants to include her friends and the. It becomes girls night and me as like a butler or chaperone. I continue the hobbies on my own, even if Im not really interested, mainly to display that I am invested. But it usually ends in vain.
I do get frustrated at times, and get a lil distant, but then I get accused of wanting someone else, or cheating etc. ( i know this is a red flag, but I am certain she is not cheating, but has once in the past. Again, certain this is not the case at the moment. Wont be fooled twice)
When we disagree, it is usually an argument, then she feels like she is losing me, becomes more caring for a short period but still doesnt invest in my wants or needs.
Standing up for myself has become ultimatums these days. But I feel I may be putting up with most to give my child a steady home.
You guys are too young. Break up, learn from this, move on and don’t cheat in the future.
You might need your own counseling to work through why you break people’s trust.
Hello! Before I get to your questions, I just wanted to mention that even if you were friends before, it's still difficult to be friends after you were involved with someone. Usually, you have to let time pass to heal and not have things be awkward. I've never seen a couple go from being in a long-term relationship to just friends overnight; or rather, I've never seen it actually work.
It could be too soon. He could have agreed to stuff, but once it's all said and done, it could feel weird or uncomfortable to try and be friends.
He might, though I feel it's more so that he might not feel all too comfortable talking right now.
I wouldn't say struggling. I think he's just adjusting to how things are and are going to be.
There's not much you can do but keep going. If or when he comes around, if you still want to talk, go for it. If he doesn't come around, it's just one of those things with breakups. It sounds crappy, but once you are broken up, even if you agreed to stuff, you no longer have any tie or obligation to that person.
I know this breakup has been tough for you, and I'm sorry. Breakups are tough, but the pain doesn't last forever. Some people aren't meant to stick around forever.
Do people not shower when you play hockey? It’s pretty common someone is nude but no one is prancing around showing off. Usually just to get changed.
Word
4 rooms of your lucky most of the time.
Like if I'm playing in a rink with underfloor heating and stuff I feel like a king, but tbh kinda miss the cold from the old barn locker rooms.
I want a child with him, I think he’d be a great dad. I know I can’t push him and it’s not fair to but it’s just so nude and frustrating for me
Your focus will entirely be health related, you can't control how those words are received. You have to trust that they will be able to see your motivation.
I honestly wouldn't bring appearance into the conversation unless they brought it in first, but you know them better. Some people it's better to be proactive with, others it's better to let them bring it up.
get rid of those dating apps if you’re looking for anything real.
Myself and 2 other married couples in my life met on apps, so this is terrible advice
To act like a guy on the internet won't take it like an invitation is kind of silly to me.
As for the dress issue u/angradillo said it better than i could have.
Maybe she keeps dudes out of her DMs and I am totally wrong and am victim blaming because we all know we can stop randoms from reaching us if we want to.
I’ve done this before and nothing good ever comes from it. My advice is just move on and find someone who would talk to you about issues rather than ghost you
Etiquette lessons or he can dine alone. I'd die from that weapons grade embarrassment.
I had a friend who mashed her food up at group outings. She got mad that the invites dried up.
I told her flat out, it's the baby food bullshit you pull.
She got very angry and I lost a friend.
But I was right.
Also weird is how her behavior damn near matches up with your BF, squirting ketchup all over the food, mashing it up with a fork, trying to “share” the abominations.
Thank you, appreciate that. I am trying to see what I did was wrong in this situation, but as always, context is important and I think some commenters are glancing over important context (which, admittedly is super subject and of course just one side of the story).
Is she an hourly employee? Maybe she was stressed out about losing hours and money, especially since you’re about to move.
You were being an ass and now it’s his fault. Heterosexual relationships in a nutshell.
We are talking but I’ve talked about a lot of stuff with the first guy, we’ve connected over childhood stuff and talked for hours every night and really opened up. He’s been helping me strive to be better and I’ve been using a lot of my therapy lessons in this “relationship”
Great! That sounds promising.
These things happen. Its okay to let people down. Its a risk we all take when it comes to dating. We make ourselves vulnerable for a shot of love. Being let down is a part of the process.
What's the alternative? You keep the connection ongoing when you're not really into it? Does that sound fair to him? Building up false hope the longer it goes? That is how people become even more hurt.
It's better to let someone down earlier than later.
And you said that you want to do things right with the other… putting an end to the other would be the right thing to do for everyone involved.
Was she possibly not aware that your sister is disabled?
The edit was to give more information as some people suggest I do, since it's actually quite important (context). It wasn't for anyone to get the “wrong impression”, it was to give more information to minimize as much as possible people jumping to conclusions and painting me black. I think that's fair.
For the other comment about admonishing; I've stated in many comments it was my bad, I shouldn't have done it, and will work on getting better at it.
You said you're not sure he's ghosting, but are convinced he's ghosting… Honestly more info is needed here. Were you talking a lot before? Is this normal behavior for him? Or maybe he's just busy. Or maybe he doesn't have the energy, because sometimes people need time to themselves to recharge. If he truly isn't interested, I agree he should just say it, but if he truly ghosted you he probably would've blocked or removed you from social media so if your messages are still going through he hasn't done that, which takes me back to a previous point about being busy or needing time to himself. Some people are also not on their phone all the time either. I'm definitely trying to do less of that because of eye strain and trying to find hobbies elsewhere. It could be many reasons for him. Or if he really is ghosting you then he's not worth the stress, you're young, you still have a chance to find someone out there.
Back then I though I could not say no. But now when I told him that, he said if I said now, he would have cover it no problem. And yes this is no longer what I want! I really want to stay friends with him. I just don’t want to be his wife or his son’s stepmom any more. I want to focus on myself
I'm so glad the comments here have such a better mindset than those in r/relationship_advice. So glad.
It's not normal. I would have a problem with this, especially if I wasn't invited. They've known each other for 3 months. You don't travel to a different country with a friend of the opposite sex of 3 months if you're just friends, especially if you're in a relationship. You'd at the very least invite your partner and introduce each other first.
So you think that putting cameras up is extra, but you are convinced marks on your sheets are cheating? Oh dude.
The thing is that sometimes he say he want me to be an housewife but at the same time he encourages me to pursue my dream career si it's confusing ?
This isn't a court tho, he doesn't need a smoking gun to know the relationship is inappropriate, the fact that he's bragging about flirting with her and she's hiding the relationship is more than enough to connect the dots
ding ding fucking ding
What’s unfair?
“I have never cheated on my boyfriend….except once…”
Seriously?
Not how international law works.
If you're a US citizen you can't go to another country where age of consent is lower and fuck minors legally.
See Jared Fogle, for example.
SCREENSHOTS
It is also to much detail mixed with not enough. didn't give just bullet points but could have been farm written by CHATgpt
Why didn't she tell you before your marriage if she always felt that way? Why did she wait until you were legally tied to her to drop this on you?
By the way, a lot of women SAY they want to explore with other women as a gateway to just sleeping with other people, and a lot of men find that their wives never hooked up with a single woman when given permission, but instead went the polyamory route and started sleeping with other men they found nude who never wanted to date them, but have no problem hooking up with them here and there. She may be pretending to want to explore with other women because I keep seeing this theme in marriages where the wives wanted the security of marriage but aren't really that attracted to the man they married (or women either), and are trying to set up a path to hooking up with other men from their job or where ever that they've been flirting with without you divorcing her for cheating (because you said it was ok to explore).
How long are you married?
We are pregnant together he shouldn’t be hiding anything for the sake of “privacy” ?
It’s an excuse to hide something he knows I wouldn’t like.
Honey, this was rape. Just because he didn't beat the hell out of you doesn't make it better. You were violated by someone you thought you could trust. Tell him that he is a rapist and that you never want to speak to him again. Please do NOT continue this relationship. It is not safe for you.
Why don’t you have any friends or family ‘anymore’? What happened to them?
Why did you guys break up? That seems important…
This is either a troll or the son/DIL writing because this account is so skewed and one sided.
It sounds like your sister is a co owner. I'm not going to give you crap about the ritual and ceremonial stuff because that is deeply personal.
I do think your overall attitude about your sister is really negative, controlling and dismissive. You don't get to police how other people feel and it's telling that despite hearing days in advance you're
No way at all. Whats the proof you have she was pregnant? If she was pregnant she would have never tested positive at 3 wks from a home test after sex unless she was already pregnant by someone else. Fertilization of the egg is not immediate so conception begins later not at the time of sex, and the earliest preg detection is from the conception date usually 4wks
I mean he keeps coming up in conversation and I’ve seen him again recently. Also I only brought it up once before
You are not his verbal punching bag, so don't allow him to treat you like one. Break up if he doesn't improve quickly.
I'm not sure if you would like it to be official of if you're comfortable moving this slow, but for most people I think if someone can't decide whether they want to commit or not after five months they would dip. I sure would. And now he wants to take a break? Does that mean you're allowed to see other people? Were you allowed to see other people before this 'break'?
Ideally, all of that would have been discussed and communicated – including whether he is comfortable with you reaching out periodically to check on him or if he wants no contact. Communication is key! It sound like you guys need to have a conversation about this situation and your relationship. I wouldn't sit around waiting and wondering. Ask for a timeline and if he can't give you one then make your own.
He’s an idiot for saying it’s not a sexual act but it sounds like what he’s trying to say is he would sometimes like oral sex that doesn’t lead to sex or isn’t immediately reciprocated, which I think is a fair thing to ask for and something that many couples do.
Of course, whether you feel comfortable or want to do it is a whole other question. You absolutely shouldn’t feel like you have to, but assuming he’s also down to perform oral sex on you without an immediate expectation of reciprocation, I think it’s a fair thing for him to desire as a part of your sex life.
I’m envisioning roller derby.
She made a one year anniversary post for a guy who had been cheating on her for 3/4 of the entire relationships. This is why social media is bullshit. People be posting all sorts of shit about how wonderful someone of something is, meanwhile their life is on fire.
My guidance to a young lady would be; consider how alarming it is that you’re nervous to tell your partner of your normal plans and rather innocent intentions. This isn’t normal, dear.