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  1. I have…. comments

    Making soda flat also makes it sweeter, which is one reason most people find it gross, because it's kind of like corn-syrup-water. Also, 4-5 packets of sugar in one coffee is insanely sweet. That's like what a little kid might do if you weren't watching them closely enough. So it sounds like you have an extreme sweet tooth, and I'm wondering if you have any food or dietary issues, or if you just have the taste buds of a kindergartener. What is your diet and nutrition like, otherwise? How are your mood and energy levels? do you crash frequently? You take twice as many sugar packets as you use in your coffee (which is already twice as many as normal) and save them for unspecified potential future need. I am going to make this its own number on the list because it is strong supporting evidence for both #1 above and #3 below… In just this post, you've listed a number of unusual “saving” behaviors. You save silica packets. You hoard sugar packets. You've saved fur samples from your dead pets, and something about the description makes me think it's really important to ask— How many baggies of pet fur do you have? Also, how many still-living pets do you have? Are there a lot of other things you save? How many things would you say you collect? With only the original post to reference, one of my first thoughts is that you might be a compulsive collector and/or hoarder. Would you say you qualify as one of those things?

    OP, after re-reading your post a third time, my only other question is— Are you currently in therapy/seeing a licensed mental health professional?

  2. If neither of you have stepped forward and put, or asked to put a label on it, then you're friends who fuck. Just because two (or more) people aren't in a monogamous, exclusive romantic relationship doesn't preclude them from intimate things such as holding hands and kissing.

    Since he isn't bringing it up – step up to the plate and ask him to be your boyfriend or ask him to define your relationship. If you want to be with him, tell him that. No more guessing. No more hoping. No more games. If you like his answer – great. If he doesn't reciprocate your feelings, you can move on and stop wishing. Who knows? He could think you are in a monogamous romantic relationship. Or you could be his friend that he fucks. He knows. Not anyone else.

  3. Unless this was an agreed boundary I'd say not massively. If you've previously talked about or clearly shown that you're a very private person in general then a bit, but otherwise no.

    You weren't on the same page about privacy and you got hurt, the grown up response is to accept that the hurt wasn't intentional (if that's the case) and discuss that boundary going forward.

    If you can't get on the same page about it with a compromise you can both live with, you'll need to either accept it or break up.

    People talk, I've had exes who talked a lot about our sex life, didn't bother me at all, my wife is pretty private so she doesn't, and I know that about her so don't talk about it either.

    There have been hiccups in this ofc, mostly tension between her need for privacy and my instinctual openness, but with good communication between us we have a great balance I reckon, working so far anyway 🙂

  4. He or I. Him or me would be objects, there's no transitive verb, so we need subjects. Subjects being he or I.

  5. None of this is your fault. None of it.

    They wanted to be outrageously selfish and not deal with any of the obvious consequences. That’s on them. Your husband is trying to justify his mistakes by trying to turn this around on you. I wouldn’t let him. If he can’t accept the results of his betrayals, it’s time to let him go. i don’t see a happy future with a person like that.

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