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  1. 2 years is a more than acceptable period of time. He doesn’t get to stake his territory on a human being for life.

  2. Hello /u/peritaak23j,

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  3. I’m angry because he hid the friendship from me and then lied about it. I found out by accident.

    I feel like we need details. How did he hide it and then lie about it and how did you find out by accident?

    You are feeling insecure because of the weight gain but supermodels and famous actresses and singers have been cheated on. At this point you don't have to tell him not to do anything. You tell him “I'm not going to tell you what to do here. I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who hides things from me and lies. So you need to figure yourself out because I need to trust my partner.” Then, start going to the gym or doing your home workouts or whatever it is you need to do to pump your body full of endorphins because feeling better starts with taking care of yourself. Also, it should help you in trusting yourself. You know on a physical level that what is going on isn't right and you don't trust yourself and it almost sounds a little like you think maybe you deserve the anxiety and insecurity because you gained weight. You should cut that out.

  4. It's probably because she isn't 16 anymore. I heard a lot of women get a lot less attention into their 20s. Which by itself is pretty gross but unsurprising with the world today

  5. If it sours it for you, be gone. You are under no obligation and you don't need justification to find a situation thats more comfortable.

  6. I agree, and while I really do want kids, im glad I dont have any at this point. This morning im going to be getting with my attorney to look at options that will likely end in divorce.

  7. You live a sad life that you had to go thru previous posts amd see the age i posted. Get a job

  8. Yeah you guys should probably just break up completely. It takes a pretty extraordinary level of trust and maturity to be able to still be close friends with your ex and not jealous. She doesn’t exactly sound like the most stable, or at the very least doesn’t communicate well.

    Idk seems like trying to stay friends is a bad idea. Why did she want to stop if everything was going well? Over the past 5 months have you put a title on your relationship, or is it like she’s the friend you also have sex with and cuddle sometimes?

  9. He’s most of the time apparently. And he says that this is normal. And attributes it to 1. Us having sex sooo much like I want (I.e., 1-2x a week) and 2. The kink he has and I can’t fulfill.

  10. Sounds like he’s trying to trap you. And from another comment, it sounds like you’ve only been together 3 months? I hope you end things with him soon. Things don’t normally end well with men like him..

  11. Honestly, her actions saved you. You are in grief and that’s understandable. But, imagine if you were married and this sort of thing happened years into the marriage. It can get much worse.

    It’s better to know now because a legal marriage was formed. Divorce is even worse because you have to stay communicative to divest the assets and if you have children… that can be a nightmare throughout life.

    Take time to grieve. Try to find your center of gravity. Watch some stand up comedy. Take time to meditate and go out on walks. Talk to friends regularly. Give yourself time to be angry, time to be sad, time to think, and time to breathe.

    A lot of people have been there (being betrayed and cheated on) – including me. I can tell you, it gets better.

  12. Contraceptives are both a medical and a sexual decision. When it comes to sexual decisions, informing your partner so they know what they’re getting into is the “informed” part of informed consent.

  13. Were you in a relationship at the time of this drunken incident? Were you in a relationship with your bf at the time?

    I feel like there is more to the story.

    But to address your request for advice, how important is this friend? How important is your boyfriend? Its quite possible you can't have both whether that's fair or not is irrelevant.

    If your bf is not comfortable with it that's his choice. You can appeal to him but if it still makes him uncomfortable then you have a choice to make. Drop the friend for the romantic interest, or drop the bf for the friendship?

    Its really up to your bf and I don't know any secret password that will get him to see it your way. You can only ask and see how he feels.

    I'm sure your friend being single again and seeking you out is not going to help your case … and if you omit that part of the story to your bf then something shady is def going on. Good luck, tho.

  14. I am in the middle of my degree. On a gap year from it which I have chosen not to work. So I am the homemaker for now

  15. We tried that a few times but we like different things and it wasn’t fun. Also I get really in my head about the stuff they like because I look nothing like the people they gravitate towards in porn so if anything it just makes me less in the mood

  16. That's what breaks my heart the most. I feel like I come second to alcohol during these episodes, and I would just want him to care more about not hurting me than drinking. Then again, I don't know much about his condition… it's all around just shattering my heart into a million pieces.

  17. Your relationship is likely over and that isn't really surprising given how old you guys were when you locked into being grown ups. It is likely she is going to realize the grass isn't necessarily greener but in the prices of learning that, she will do some things that you probably can't come back from.

    I would sit down and take a really hard look at the financial decisions here. It's selling the best option? What if one of you bought out the other? Or make it a rental and birth find other places to live? That would be a business decision that needs legal input but at this point you should be looking for financial and legal representation anyway just to make sure you make the smartest financial decisions.

    It's very hot but you need to separate the financial decisions from the relationship decisions now.

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