RIGHT? Like, I personally do not like porn, not only because of how it often exploits women, but also because so many porn sites keep videos of actual r*pe up even after victims email them begging for them to take the victims down. It's disgusting.
Apple tells you when you set your do not disturb notifications on. Last night I checked our messages at 12:30 am and they weren’t on, but sometime between 12:30 am and 1 am they were turned on. His family is in the central time zone, meaning two hours ahead, so either he was just then going to bed between 2:30 am and 3 am, which seems unlikely based on the conversations we’ve had, or he was still on the west coast after all.
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
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Posts must:
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Wtf is wrong with you. Such a fucking trash human being. Show her your post and divorce her because she deserves so much better then your sorry ass. Fucking piece of shit.
Oh sorry, sometimes I forget LDRs exist where you don’t even meet. I just moved farther away for a job a couple months ago, but we’ve spent most of our relationship together in person!
OP, your tone makes me think you are afraid of your husband, or at least afraid of talking to him about this. This is not ok, he can't make you feel bad or afraid to see your dad. And if you are afraid of telling him “hey, I am gonna continue to see my dad, we don't need to talk about it, but you won't make me feel bad for seeing my dad”, if you can't have this conversation with your husband, you have bigger problems than you realize.
He obviously wasn’t looking for someone OPs age. If he was then her putting her age as older wouldn’t have matched with him. Which I bonus he’s probably not a creep only looking for a significantly younger person to date, unless his age range is huge. However, there is a reason he probably selected the age group he did. He probably realizes the possibility of have any real compatibility with someone who could be his child is slim to none.
I’ve been married for a long, long time. I put on a ton of weight during that time. My husband didn’t like it but he loves me and we stayed married. Never , ever did he threaten to leave me. I’ve lost most of the weight now and I’m very healthy now and happy and I’m still married. He stuck by me at a time I felt huge and unhealthy. That’s what good partners do. They stay. They work through issues wether it’s finances, disability, accident, weight or other things. Lose the guy. YOU can do better.
well firstly, take responsibility for your own emotions. You're not helping either of you by being wishy-washy. She's obviously got major problems and using her bc you find her attractive is top notch douche behavior. Since you've got her mom's number, it might be prudent to reach out to her explaining her behavior and that you need to end things with her so be prepared for a meltdown,
After that, tell her in no uncertain terms that its over and to not contact you. If she makes threats, call the appropriate authorities.
I hope you can get some good therapy and help heal some of your childhood trauma and depression. Don't feel bad for reaching out for professional help.
Another suggestion would be to get involved in something meaningful to help others. If you have the financial means, you could make a real difference to others and also find a bigger purpose and meaning for yourself. Maybe help some kids who grew up with parents having mental health issues, like you had to, or similar?
All adult feelings aside, as others have mentioned, a pacifier and breast/nipple are NOT the same thing. This could complete mess with your son's feeding schedule and confuse the little guy. Which could mess up the whole feeding cycle.
Your wife needs to go to therapy and stop projecting on to you. You should never feel guilty for breastfeeding, especially by your spouse. I understand that she is feeling left out, but she is completely in the wrong for this one.
Your wife’s tiddies don’t produce milk. She’s having your son suck on them knowing this. She’s using your son as a prop to satisfy her dysphoria. The hungry baby isn’t gonna appreciate that. You’re right to be bothered here.
And is it fair for me to say no to that request every time? I understand the need for privacy in the friendship, but considering the living situation I can't facilitate that at our house. I can do my best but I can't promise on a Thursday night from 5-8 PM I can go out and find something to do, maybe I want to be home in my PJs. She does do things with a friend every other week or so – but then it feels like I'm playing God and saying which things (friends, family – whoever) are okay and which are not to have the house alone.
This probably means he laments that he can't be more open and that you can't find some of your emotional fulfillment in other places (friends, family, career, hobbies). If this has been a longterm, serious relationship this is exactly what couples' counseling was invented for. People can't change their entire personalities but they can often find some means of compromise for the greater good. But that would mean both of you being willing to alter the way you interact.
I’m sorry this happened to you , this means the next best person will be coming one day . I hope you find happiness
I have a daughter from coed living. Would do again.
That's true , I will take it into consideration. Thank you !
RIGHT? Like, I personally do not like porn, not only because of how it often exploits women, but also because so many porn sites keep videos of actual r*pe up even after victims email them begging for them to take the victims down. It's disgusting.
hey that's unkind, OP had work. People can't always get off at the last minute.
Apple tells you when you set your do not disturb notifications on. Last night I checked our messages at 12:30 am and they weren’t on, but sometime between 12:30 am and 1 am they were turned on. His family is in the central time zone, meaning two hours ahead, so either he was just then going to bed between 2:30 am and 3 am, which seems unlikely based on the conversations we’ve had, or he was still on the west coast after all.
Why the fk are you with this guy? What value is he to you? He doesn’t even seem to like you.
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Posts must:
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We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
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Wow this is gross on so many levels. I don’t know how to advice you I would break it off with him.
I doubt it’s the first time sadly 🙁
Wtf is wrong with you. Such a fucking trash human being. Show her your post and divorce her because she deserves so much better then your sorry ass. Fucking piece of shit.
every time i see a middle to late 20s year old dating a 19/18 year old i know its not gonna be a good read, and i was correct
Oh sorry, sometimes I forget LDRs exist where you don’t even meet. I just moved farther away for a job a couple months ago, but we’ve spent most of our relationship together in person!
OP, your tone makes me think you are afraid of your husband, or at least afraid of talking to him about this. This is not ok, he can't make you feel bad or afraid to see your dad. And if you are afraid of telling him “hey, I am gonna continue to see my dad, we don't need to talk about it, but you won't make me feel bad for seeing my dad”, if you can't have this conversation with your husband, you have bigger problems than you realize.
He obviously wasn’t looking for someone OPs age. If he was then her putting her age as older wouldn’t have matched with him. Which I bonus he’s probably not a creep only looking for a significantly younger person to date, unless his age range is huge. However, there is a reason he probably selected the age group he did. He probably realizes the possibility of have any real compatibility with someone who could be his child is slim to none.
Is he aware of your actual age?
I'm in my 50s and I think this guy's a victim-blaming asshole.
I’ve been married for a long, long time. I put on a ton of weight during that time. My husband didn’t like it but he loves me and we stayed married. Never , ever did he threaten to leave me. I’ve lost most of the weight now and I’m very healthy now and happy and I’m still married. He stuck by me at a time I felt huge and unhealthy. That’s what good partners do. They stay. They work through issues wether it’s finances, disability, accident, weight or other things. Lose the guy. YOU can do better.
I unblocked her cause I felt guilty
well firstly, take responsibility for your own emotions. You're not helping either of you by being wishy-washy. She's obviously got major problems and using her bc you find her attractive is top notch douche behavior. Since you've got her mom's number, it might be prudent to reach out to her explaining her behavior and that you need to end things with her so be prepared for a meltdown,
After that, tell her in no uncertain terms that its over and to not contact you. If she makes threats, call the appropriate authorities.
I hope you can get some good therapy and help heal some of your childhood trauma and depression. Don't feel bad for reaching out for professional help.
Another suggestion would be to get involved in something meaningful to help others. If you have the financial means, you could make a real difference to others and also find a bigger purpose and meaning for yourself. Maybe help some kids who grew up with parents having mental health issues, like you had to, or similar?
What a hard/complicated situation…
All adult feelings aside, as others have mentioned, a pacifier and breast/nipple are NOT the same thing. This could complete mess with your son's feeding schedule and confuse the little guy. Which could mess up the whole feeding cycle.
Your wife needs to go to therapy and stop projecting on to you. You should never feel guilty for breastfeeding, especially by your spouse. I understand that she is feeling left out, but she is completely in the wrong for this one.
Your wife’s tiddies don’t produce milk. She’s having your son suck on them knowing this. She’s using your son as a prop to satisfy her dysphoria. The hungry baby isn’t gonna appreciate that. You’re right to be bothered here.
Those are not your friends!!!
And is it fair for me to say no to that request every time? I understand the need for privacy in the friendship, but considering the living situation I can't facilitate that at our house. I can do my best but I can't promise on a Thursday night from 5-8 PM I can go out and find something to do, maybe I want to be home in my PJs. She does do things with a friend every other week or so – but then it feels like I'm playing God and saying which things (friends, family – whoever) are okay and which are not to have the house alone.
This probably means he laments that he can't be more open and that you can't find some of your emotional fulfillment in other places (friends, family, career, hobbies). If this has been a longterm, serious relationship this is exactly what couples' counseling was invented for. People can't change their entire personalities but they can often find some means of compromise for the greater good. But that would mean both of you being willing to alter the way you interact.
Run. Get away from him