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Luisa, 21 y.o.
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Date: November 19, 2022
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Honestly I didn't wanted to accept it but you're absolutely right. This is completely my fault and in all honesty I should be the one that gets repercussions, not her. I feel so bad for even starting this whole thing but as you're saying sadly the only way out involves hurting her feelings. Thx for the advice tho, honestly it helps a lot
Move on. Anytime a guy is confused, I take it as a no.
I was on Lithium for a year. Though it didn't help much and eventually stopped them, but I could sense my partner and my family didn't support much my decision to be on meds. I was sad about it. Nobody wants to be on meds, trust me, not even your wife. But I hope you can take some time to support her and try to bit more understanding. Give it a time but if you feel like the feelings aren't mutual and you are exhausted of it, it is better to communicate with your wife. Trust me, she is re-adjusting her life.
For five months? Relationship over either way, because if you can’t trust them after FIVE MONTHS you’ll never work out
The question is when you asked why didn't she call you for a ride or let her know she was safe, what did she say? How did she react?
If you tell her that it makes you uncomfortable and you were worried and she reacts negatively it might be an issue, but if she accepts that boundary and doesn't do it again you're good.
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I’d let the universe work because it’ll just come back and bite you too if it hasn’t. You’re also not at all an innocent party so id let it rest. You knowingly had an affair so how are you any better than him ?
Do not stay on the lease! Why give him a chance to wreck your credit?? You'll be on edge for the rest the lease. It might also be a ploy get you to move back in by holding your credit score hostage.
Get your name off that lease! His finances are no longer your concern.
This is a wildly unfair comment.
We used the ABCs of sleep to train our daughter. Kids need consecutive hours of sleep. Waking up every couple of hours at this age is bad for their development and health. The idea of sleep training for us was not self soothing, it was teaching her how to put herself to sleep. We used this method because while it does involve some crying it out, you check in every 10-15 minutes to tell your baby “mama and dada are here. We love you. It’s time to sleep. We’re here for you.” Specifically so they don’t feel abandoned.
The judgement parents get for sleep training is so unfair. Our baby broke her collarbone at birth and therefore sleep was a huge issue. She absolutely would not sleep unless she was held. It’s not safe to sleep while holding an infant, so we were never sleeping. It was so bad I started having sleep paralysis. I felt like I was going crazy. I was so exhausted and depressed because I truly felt like I was never going to sleep for more than 2 hours at a time again. I felt hopeless. Sleep training saved us. I was able to be a much better mom. And guess what? Our daughter sleeps 11-12 hours in her crib every night and she’s so happy and so much better rested. She’s also in the 99 percentile for her height. She’s 2 and hitting all her milestones and we have the best bond.
Not everyone who sleep trains just lets their kid cry for hours. And it’s not cool to shame parents for doing it.
I’m struggling to find a single reason as to why you’re with this person
Not even with his questionable drunken behaviour but the entire situation in general where he’s getting black out drunk in public
Both of you have some serious issues you need to address and it would probably be best to do so as single individuals
No, your issues aren't normal. I've been married for 25 years and not once has my husband wanted me to carve his name into my skin or vise versa. We've never made a blood oath, or any of the other alarming stuff in your history. You need to run before you end up badly hurt or worse.
It’s on him at this point. Tell him you can’t navigate his feelings anymore, so you’re just going to tell it to him straight and he can take the time to process them, but it’s not your fault he’s being a jerk.
Honestly, you should take these issues to a therapist and ask them for help making changes to the way you feel about yourself.
Making an assumption here but maybe also deal with any past trauma you have with men, if necessary.
You are worth more than the way men make you feel. You need to cultivate self love and higher self esteem. You have value without being in a relationship or being validated by anyone. You just need to find and nourish it. Therapy will help.