And why wasn't he helping you with the decorations, the cooking and the other desserts? Why were you supposed to do all of that alone? Why were YOU supposed to learn how to make the cookies, why can't he, being the father and knowing the kids for longer than you? He did a lot more to disrespect you than the yelling and the awful things he said. Before all the yelling and everything, you were supposed to be his maid/cook. Why? (also what he said… no you don't come back from that, and he didn't apologize later so he really really thinks all of that)
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You know what would be satisfying to me as an outsider, as if you were a character in a movie? If you went no contact immediately and never looked back. Sounds like his mom would understand and approve. Don’t give him the satisfaction of knowing any reasons, just bail and block.
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You didn't lose a friend, the friend became someone that's not compatible with your values It sounds like he lost you and that's fine. Best friends are only best friends until they aren't.
I dislike play fighting in general, mainly because I'm a big guy and everyone likes to challenge the biggest guy in the room/it's all fun and games til someone gets hurt or scared/something goes wrong.
I walked into a bar one night and had some guy immediately wanting to arm wrestle me. I was like a good 15-20 years older than him. Seriously. Eye contact, and then he drops his elbow to the table and starts staring at me.
I was baffled. He said, “You're one of the biggest guys here, people are going to want to challenge you.” I really couldn't comprehend it.
Put a pin in trying to thinking about your bf for now. Checking his WhatsApp etc. Use the next few days to paint, draw, journal, go for walks. Eat. Regularly, 3 meals a day. Clean your clothes, throw out stuff. Read self-help books. Find podcasts on escaping the abusive cycle. Order Lundy Bancroft's Why does he do it. Research therapists you can reach out to in the new year. What healthy hobby you will use to help fill the void from drinking.
This might be hard to hear, but it sounds like you have severe PTSD from your past abusive relationships. If you focus on your ex-bf and the heartbreak you feel or trying to get better to win him back you're going to neglect that you didn't deserve any of the abuse that happened to you. I'm sorry you were treated like that. Unfortunately it's now your responsibility to process that undeserved trauma and the unhealthy coping mechanisms you've developed to on-line with the trauma. You knew you were headed on a path that was turning you into your abuser and unfortunately you weren't able to stop yourself from repeatedly hurting someone the way you were hurt. It's nude, but it's not the time focus on winning him back. It's the time to assess whether this is rock bottom.
She's is having an average of 5 hours daily just for her, 2 hours when kid is watching cartoons and 3 hours after kid is going to bed. Yesterday she had 3xtra 4 hours for example when I went with our kid to an event.
I am getting super pissed off if she's saying I don't help, yes I resent the situation because I believe I do a lot!!!!
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I would be pissed if my partner’s bestie pulled this. She was really asking for his and not someone else’s I hope you know. I would say nope there’s no available dick here best check the club I bet there are plenty of dicks there.
Luckily she wouldn’t pull this stunt as she’s too good of a friend. As for your “friend”, I would put her at a minimum on time out for a while and make it clear that she won’t be asking for dick from your man. Then have a friendly chat when laughing boy as for his response and should have a better and more forceful response next time.
After you guys clear the air make sure your bestie stays off the good stuff while hanging out with you guys and help her find her own man to enjoy without propositioning yours.
Have you spoken to your partner about this? This looks to be a situation which has the potential to be solved with open communication. However, if you're done with her and looking for an excuse then there is no good time.
Yeah, if the guy is married but contacting me and saying these things, I would probably cut him off. It isn't your job to be an outlet for his negative emotion toward his own marriage and it is overshadowing any sort of professional or platonic friendship we may have been able to retain. Even if he wasn't married, you do not have feelings for him and these advances are inappropriate for the relationship you now have with him and can create uncomfortable tension. I think letting him know if you do this would be a good step, just so there is closure on his end and he isn't questioning where you two stand. It isn't your job to worry about his questions concerning med school anymore; he is a grown man and obviously a pretty intelligent one if med school is on the table. I am sure he will be just fine. Put those people behind you!
Family counselling? Maybe with a professional you & your sister can get her to understand you aren't plasters she can paste over her unfulfilling marriage.
Emotionally/ maturity. Age often exceeds a person’s emotional growth. I married twice with women in their 30’s whose maturity was mid to late adolescence at best. Never dealt with life as an independent person, so they couldn’t understand the concept of work for what you want, plan to get it, adjust fire when life’s hurdles pop up. They would break down at the slightest hiccup. It happens, gender be damned.
My kid was pissed when I snuck my sim into her loadgame and impregnated all the women in her family with green babies including her sim, they I poisoned all the males so they died the day after she loaded up (the freakout was magnificent) then she laughed and we respect each others worlds now
My basement has the urns of every wife my sim has had, as all die very soon after childbirth, my entire game is built around genocide and wiping out all “none greens”
My tip, lock your wife in a cage, starve her and ask your gf if she approves of your npc marriage now
What your mom did in the past sucks. And I know you are still grieving and love your dad but it's been a year, and her relationships are ultimately her business. I think if this is something that's too hard to watch moving out would be best, maybe in the meantime talk to her about your discomfort and ways to minimize your exposure to her dating within reason.
He has not changed at all as far as I can tell. And he does have less contact with them but he says it is because he is busy with working, gym, me, and his new friends to make up any time for the old ones. At first I thought they had a falling out but it seems more like a slow drift away scenario or something.
I did say something along those lines to him. He is still withdrawn and taking his time. I don't want to make this about me. But I still feel responsible for not understanding him enough.
You ignore them and encourage her to make her own decisions. If she can't, then you need to clear out of this relationship and know you will find someone more mature elsewhere.
it's not up to you to end the break she asked for, so just hang tight and see if absence makes her heart grow fonder.
and if she's the type to be playing the game where she says she wants a break but wants you to pursue and then rips you to shreds for not doing that, then consider yourself lucky you found out now.
Maybe you're aromantic, or maybe you're romantic but your feelings for her faded. Either way if you only want to stay in a relationship because shes funny and is part of the group then it really isn't a relationship.
While it’s easy enough to just say to bring this all up because you should always be able to be open and honest with your partner, I think the context of what your expectations are as a result matter.
Just using the example of bringing up that you feel like he has a better time without you than with you, he’s logically going to tell you that’s not the case. Will that realistically be enough to curb your insecurities?
To be honest, you shouldn’t be comparing the situations. He certainly has fun with his friends. But he also has fun with you or he wouldn’t be with you.
Most importantly, like you acknowledge, independence is important and healthy in a relationship and you’re not here suggesting that he’s shitty about it and doesn’t prioritize you at all. So that’s good. But what about you? Do you have a social circle or any hobbies?
Is a matter of cackling loudly
Do some kinky public stuff.
And why wasn't he helping you with the decorations, the cooking and the other desserts? Why were you supposed to do all of that alone? Why were YOU supposed to learn how to make the cookies, why can't he, being the father and knowing the kids for longer than you? He did a lot more to disrespect you than the yelling and the awful things he said. Before all the yelling and everything, you were supposed to be his maid/cook. Why? (also what he said… no you don't come back from that, and he didn't apologize later so he really really thinks all of that)
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You know what would be satisfying to me as an outsider, as if you were a character in a movie? If you went no contact immediately and never looked back. Sounds like his mom would understand and approve. Don’t give him the satisfaction of knowing any reasons, just bail and block.
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Hope your partner finds out and leaves you. Stay away from married men, don’t be a cheater and be grateful for what you have.
You didn't lose a friend, the friend became someone that's not compatible with your values It sounds like he lost you and that's fine. Best friends are only best friends until they aren't.
I dislike play fighting in general, mainly because I'm a big guy and everyone likes to challenge the biggest guy in the room/it's all fun and games til someone gets hurt or scared/something goes wrong.
I walked into a bar one night and had some guy immediately wanting to arm wrestle me. I was like a good 15-20 years older than him. Seriously. Eye contact, and then he drops his elbow to the table and starts staring at me.
I was baffled. He said, “You're one of the biggest guys here, people are going to want to challenge you.” I really couldn't comprehend it.
I bought him a beer instead.
OP what is he willing to do on his end to fix what he did and potentially make it never occur again?
Put a pin in trying to thinking about your bf for now. Checking his WhatsApp etc. Use the next few days to paint, draw, journal, go for walks. Eat. Regularly, 3 meals a day. Clean your clothes, throw out stuff. Read self-help books. Find podcasts on escaping the abusive cycle. Order Lundy Bancroft's Why does he do it. Research therapists you can reach out to in the new year. What healthy hobby you will use to help fill the void from drinking.
This might be hard to hear, but it sounds like you have severe PTSD from your past abusive relationships. If you focus on your ex-bf and the heartbreak you feel or trying to get better to win him back you're going to neglect that you didn't deserve any of the abuse that happened to you. I'm sorry you were treated like that. Unfortunately it's now your responsibility to process that undeserved trauma and the unhealthy coping mechanisms you've developed to on-line with the trauma. You knew you were headed on a path that was turning you into your abuser and unfortunately you weren't able to stop yourself from repeatedly hurting someone the way you were hurt. It's nude, but it's not the time focus on winning him back. It's the time to assess whether this is rock bottom.
She's is having an average of 5 hours daily just for her, 2 hours when kid is watching cartoons and 3 hours after kid is going to bed. Yesterday she had 3xtra 4 hours for example when I went with our kid to an event.
I am getting super pissed off if she's saying I don't help, yes I resent the situation because I believe I do a lot!!!!
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He is 32 and cried because your ex made you orgasm?
I'm just shocked lmao.
I would be pissed if my partner’s bestie pulled this. She was really asking for his and not someone else’s I hope you know. I would say nope there’s no available dick here best check the club I bet there are plenty of dicks there.
Luckily she wouldn’t pull this stunt as she’s too good of a friend. As for your “friend”, I would put her at a minimum on time out for a while and make it clear that she won’t be asking for dick from your man. Then have a friendly chat when laughing boy as for his response and should have a better and more forceful response next time.
After you guys clear the air make sure your bestie stays off the good stuff while hanging out with you guys and help her find her own man to enjoy without propositioning yours.
Good luck dealing with wishful thing there.
Good to her how? As long as we are together it will just be the two of us. I mean there is no room to compromise here.
Have you spoken to your partner about this? This looks to be a situation which has the potential to be solved with open communication. However, if you're done with her and looking for an excuse then there is no good time.
Yeah, if the guy is married but contacting me and saying these things, I would probably cut him off. It isn't your job to be an outlet for his negative emotion toward his own marriage and it is overshadowing any sort of professional or platonic friendship we may have been able to retain. Even if he wasn't married, you do not have feelings for him and these advances are inappropriate for the relationship you now have with him and can create uncomfortable tension. I think letting him know if you do this would be a good step, just so there is closure on his end and he isn't questioning where you two stand. It isn't your job to worry about his questions concerning med school anymore; he is a grown man and obviously a pretty intelligent one if med school is on the table. I am sure he will be just fine. Put those people behind you!
Family counselling? Maybe with a professional you & your sister can get her to understand you aren't plasters she can paste over her unfulfilling marriage.
Emotionally/ maturity. Age often exceeds a person’s emotional growth. I married twice with women in their 30’s whose maturity was mid to late adolescence at best. Never dealt with life as an independent person, so they couldn’t understand the concept of work for what you want, plan to get it, adjust fire when life’s hurdles pop up. They would break down at the slightest hiccup. It happens, gender be damned.
A million times YES. This is the answer!!
I think what they’re trying to say is you sound nonchalant. Talking to someone is a good step!
Except that it absolutely can be done. So….
It’s like saying something is something else
Is that all?
My kid was pissed when I snuck my sim into her loadgame and impregnated all the women in her family with green babies including her sim, they I poisoned all the males so they died the day after she loaded up (the freakout was magnificent) then she laughed and we respect each others worlds now
My basement has the urns of every wife my sim has had, as all die very soon after childbirth, my entire game is built around genocide and wiping out all “none greens”
My tip, lock your wife in a cage, starve her and ask your gf if she approves of your npc marriage now
It's a game ffs
What your mom did in the past sucks. And I know you are still grieving and love your dad but it's been a year, and her relationships are ultimately her business. I think if this is something that's too hard to watch moving out would be best, maybe in the meantime talk to her about your discomfort and ways to minimize your exposure to her dating within reason.
You JUST now mention this. OMFG, come on. Come on dude. I don’t believe you for a second. Do you need a second tiny violin to play your sad song????
He has not changed at all as far as I can tell. And he does have less contact with them but he says it is because he is busy with working, gym, me, and his new friends to make up any time for the old ones. At first I thought they had a falling out but it seems more like a slow drift away scenario or something.
It was the same level of affection children perform. You're fine. It was like 1 on a 1-10 scale of intimacy.
So he knows you sext with strangers and is ok with it?
Lmao “old guy ~40”
Also, who cares. Free gas
Wow you really fucked up.
In what way could this have possibly played out harmless? Who would be laughing? If you can't explain why it's funny.. And you're new in the company.
You fucked up again when you didn't instantly own up to it and explain the hilarity of the situation.
Your only option now is to tell everyone it's just a prank bro chill
She sounds so entiteled. Wow.
What may make it seem odd to her is that she feels appreciated by spending money on her and her kin.
But she won't answer to you the same way.
“I have already told you numeeous times” translates as:
“I have nothing really to tell you there so I just make you feel bad here”.
I did say something along those lines to him. He is still withdrawn and taking his time. I don't want to make this about me. But I still feel responsible for not understanding him enough.
Oh this has good idea written all over it. Do you hate yourself or have issues with self esteem?
You ignore them and encourage her to make her own decisions. If she can't, then you need to clear out of this relationship and know you will find someone more mature elsewhere.
Be happy your have a supportive partner. Do what you want to do with your body. Don’t eavesdrop on his therapy ever again.
She was giving him a bj. Break up with her
it's not up to you to end the break she asked for, so just hang tight and see if absence makes her heart grow fonder.
and if she's the type to be playing the game where she says she wants a break but wants you to pursue and then rips you to shreds for not doing that, then consider yourself lucky you found out now.
Maybe you're aromantic, or maybe you're romantic but your feelings for her faded. Either way if you only want to stay in a relationship because shes funny and is part of the group then it really isn't a relationship.
they cheated when they discussed it behind her back
When did you drop the L bomb?
While it’s easy enough to just say to bring this all up because you should always be able to be open and honest with your partner, I think the context of what your expectations are as a result matter.
Just using the example of bringing up that you feel like he has a better time without you than with you, he’s logically going to tell you that’s not the case. Will that realistically be enough to curb your insecurities?
To be honest, you shouldn’t be comparing the situations. He certainly has fun with his friends. But he also has fun with you or he wouldn’t be with you.
Most importantly, like you acknowledge, independence is important and healthy in a relationship and you’re not here suggesting that he’s shitty about it and doesn’t prioritize you at all. So that’s good. But what about you? Do you have a social circle or any hobbies?
You could say you noticed some makeup remover pads in his garbage and wondered if he needs any help with learning how to apply makeup lol
If she is just that paranoid, blame your boyfriend for leaving you alone in their house.
It's not about the money, it's about the fact that your girlfriend thinks it's OK to lie if she's not likely to get caught. How do you trust her?
Don't you think it's time to assert your power and dominance already by all means necessary?
….I’m so tempted to ask if you’re my ex’s mother tbh
I think this isn’t the right place for this question, as this whole post is not in line with western thought and this sub skews towards the west
Honestly, neither seem great matches
Pretty sure this is a movie or book plot. Not even an original idea.