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Languages: en,de,ru
Birth Date: 1995-07-28
Body Type: bodyTypeAverage
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Subculture: subcultureRomantic
Date: October 25, 2022
Babe can you take this down. This is making me look bad. This isn’t us
I wouldn’t suspect his cheating. If it’s a hotel like a bar thats pretty normal for mates to go there for a drink? I wouldn’t question my boyfriend at all for doing that.
I’m surprised you have each others locations on, from what I read it sounds intense like almost over protective of each other which can cause the other being afraid of where they can and cannot go. I mean I would turn my phone off too just to have some normality/freedom.
Isn't it nice, how when a chick wants to achieve something in a relationship, she'll use lies, pretending and overall manipulation, but when a man does it, it's “rude and cowardly”? Like isn't what she's doing pretty rude and cowardly?
So she's treating him like that, shouldn't he then treat her the same? Or would that be “unfair”?
Well shit, I was hoping for some time of pickup. Clearly I’m stupid for even thinking they way I do
Just get over it, we have all made mistakes and did stupid things in our past.. he loves you and cares about you today, and isn't that all that really matters.
Honestly I would, she sounds like a border line Bunny boiler. Enjoy LA.
Divorce, he had another child. If his dad dies, he could literally be on the hook for child support. Geez. He did not think this through.
Also what the hell is that supposed to mean? You say you don't know what sexual attraction is and then you get all judgmental? Quit it OP.
You are so rude. I said everyone is not different. There are majority and minority. We share common psychology. That's why majority of people are bisexual, minority people are straight specially women.
I'm precisely trying to explain this to a person that “have no male friend, in a traditional family and on-line in a small town”.
I asked because It is only me or it is majority. If you are rude, if you are arrogant then avoid me. You didn’t even answer my question. You just showed your arrogance.
Guys I fr need advice, stop making fun of me.
This post is already too much insecurity for me, personally.
this is what i would do tell him there’s been an emergency you need to go out of town for christmas. go to friends parents wherever who cares. screenshot everything get them all printed out put in a nice box with a beautiful bow and wait……… don’t be stupid move the fuck on he don’t love you.
Also old. And wise. I think this is why men like to date younger
Surely you can't be this daft. Kissing someone with consent of your partner is different than doing it behind his back, ask him what he thinks of what you did
Go to a doctor and tell them it hurts. There may be something going on. He needs to stop assaulting you and you need to prioritize finding out why it hurts. If you don’t you will start to have negative associations with sex.
You are not.
I have been with my wife 20 years.
I love her unconditionally. All that matters to me she is healthy and she feels good about herself.
I could never ever fathom talking to or about my amazing beautiful life partner in such a manner.
He’s shown his true colors. It seems drinking releases his horrid and unkind truths.
Sadly, this is the real him.
And agreed, her 18 and him 25 at the start, also isn’t a good look either. 🙁
You two sound incompatible and like you were looking for any excuse to dump him. Punishing him for his families actions makes you look petty, but since you don’t want him that doesn’t matter.
Tbh, you’re 1000% valid on how you feel. Since y’all are in the talking stage and you find this to be a deal breaker just end things. You’ll find someone who you can share that experience with if that’s what YOU WANT. There’s still plenty of virgins at your age. But if you want to look past that then I hope the best for you guys:-)
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I’m taking all of your advice. I’ve read your response a couple times over and it’s really what I needed to read right now. I honestly can’t thank you enough. Thank you ♥️, and I am definitely getting rid of him.
Was coming here to say this.
It's very sad for OP and I wish he had that expensive but his gf wasn't the AH because she prioritized her health and a high risk medical procedure which involved her baby.
Married folks who have separated money to me is just stupid. I mean legally it means nothing. Money you earn is his too. Money he earns is yours.
But i clearly said dont do this and how much i love him he left me because he didnt wanna step up even though he said you are gonna be my wife like 2 days ago he was lying to me i dont know i begged him but he left i was pissed and hurt so of course blocked him but when he blocks me i dont know i guess he is happy without me he was just wasting my time i guess because i was there when he doesnt have anything how he could leave me like that
she did not feel safe. that’s literally the problem???
? sense of self in the relationship i took to imply her position in the relationship. ego i took to imply the way she views herself in position to men in general (the “stronger than him” bs) that’s all im going to say because i genuinely thought that was an olive branch but i guess not.
We took it slow. Didn't open ourselves emotionally until we knew the reletionship was done for the right reasons.
When in doubt, ask questions. Get to know their life story. What are they planning for the future. Is their life in order. Hobbies, interests. Taste in movies music.
Saw each-other in moderation and added new layers when we felt like it was ready. Introducing to friends etc.
Make sure you're actually going on dates and not just hanging out at home. Have a good balance of fun activities vs conversation dates. Fun activities to bond over/break the ice, and conversation dates to get to know the other.
A point to make, is right now you're seeing each-other on a daily basis, that's becoming your routine. What is going to happen when you can't see each-other daily? Is there going to be tension? Is your connection going to dry up because the interaction levels took a hit?
It takes time to get to know a person, right? Right now you're getting to know his best presentation of himself because that is what people give in the beginning. You want to make sure that version of him is genuine and not an act. That takes time to determine.
I wouldn’t even leave it open for further communication. “You have decided we aren’t in a relationship any longer. I respect that decision. Good luck with your life.”
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Well the easy solution is to break up with someone who has no drive, education or ambition. If he dropped out of college, he needs to find a job that gives him more than 10 hours a week. Two jobs if need be.
The priority now though is to discuss your current situation and who is providing what in the relationship. You need to set clear expectations of each other right now and if he isn't willing to pull his weight then you need to let him sink on his own.
It depends, is he going to make sure you actually have a gift to wear?
The fact that my parents did the EXACT SAME thing. My mom ended up deleting most of my Comp Sci project in the 12th grade because she unplugged the computer WHILE I was working because I went over the time limit by 6 minutes. She then had the gall to reuse my project for my sister, who, of course, had no such 'limits' because computer time was normalised by then (we have a gap of 4 years between us). I'm 26 and I still resent my parents for the way they treated me back then. I had no phone. Couldn't reach out to friends, so I lost most of them. I was so interested in video editing and was even the head of the computer club at school. They completely messed it all up. And then they ask me to be thankful for the bare minimum standard of parenting. I didn't ask to be fucking born, you fucked and made me. Clothing, feeding, bathing, educating me are your responsibilities. They aren't favours you do for your child. It's the bare fucking minimum.
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I see this advice given and it makes sense, though for me I can’t imagine “just knowing” with anyone. I don’t think I’m wired that way.
You need to respect yourself more.
Ever think part of the train she did all of this is because you're the type to be walked over with no consequences?
Be a Lanister. Always pay your debts.
Napalm some shit.
Oh I didn’t realize they don’t get a sympathetic response from health professionals!
And yeah, really it’s because of being in graduate school together that’s caused my role to be sort of incrementally heightened over time, and it’s only the last few months I’ve really been taking steps to step back, but then this physical, perhaps reactive abuse, from the boyfriend concerned me a lot and I was afraid of just sweeping it under the rug.
I don't think he is going to be a good co-parent, and no matter how peacefully you try to bring it up, you can't control other people's reactions. You've made your decision, and for what it's worth, it sounds like the right one. But I think you are setting yourself up for failure if you think this man will suddenly behave how you would like him to after you separate.
You might benefit from some solo therapy to give you more tools to help you through a difficult transition. Sending love and hugs.
You both sound pretty shitty tbf.
He’s a manipulative gaming addict who can’t seem to understand that he needs to be part of a family. He wants to play on-line with his friends and doesn’t feel bad about threatening to leave to get his way like a child. He sounds horrible
But you obviously said what you said with no other reason than to hurt him. You took something he told you in confidence, something that he more than likely hasn’t told many people about, something that he probably still hasn’t gotten over, and you used it in an argument because you knew it would hurt him. You had to have known that saying that wouldn’t make him come back, you said it because some part of you wanted to hurt him more than normal words could.
Get a divorce. You two clearly aren’t compatible.
Bro I swear when some men are sick they act like huge punks
Yesterday
I really don’t think that she wants it because she prefers more dominant men, I feel it’s more that she thinks that it’ll save the relationship. In the past she had no issue being dominant most of the time, while the rest I was the dominant, it’s just that now she’s suggesting and maybe even wanting me to be more dominant. In all honesty I feel as if it’s all just because she feels like it’ll save the relationship, and that she possibly views men being submissive as more “childish”. I mean, she told me that she wants a “man” and not a “boy” in the relationship as a whole. I was by no means mature in the past, but I have improved a ton in recent months, so I honestly feel she’s asking it out of fear that I will revert back to being immature and toxic
I finally have time time and ability to pursue hobbies and travel and get back to working and just relax.
Tell her no, you can't stay with her, and be a nanny, you already have a job.
They offered their home because of guilt yes, I know they preferred me to move back home and were very happy I did. My parents believed my husband so easily because I was “wild” when I was young. I don’t know why they would think it meant I was an adulterer. I never cheated even when I was younger and “wild”. I could stay with them however until I get a new place. It could take months, maybe a year.
Lol I thought this was too much. Honestly, this sub would be great for karma farming, just ask if you should break up with the most toxic person ever and watch the dogpile
When it comes to the kids, the difference isn’t that it’s another person vs. you, it’s that it’s someone who has more than one kid vs. someone who doesn’t yet. She got advice from someone who experienced multiples and reassured her about her fears. It’s not personal that she wasn’t as convinced by you, because you don’t have the experience. If anything, the fact that she went and got advice means she was listening to your desire and considering it further, instead of just saying no.
So consider the TV thing separately. It’s not related to the kids issue, which is a huge relief, because it’s legitimately annoying but not a massive issue. It’s possible she’s someone who just needs to hear the recommendation from more than one person to get interested. Or, some people just find it really annoying when someone pushes them to watch or read something and get stubborn about it (my husband is like this). If you feel respected in your marriage otherwise, I would try not to take it so personally.
Yup my husband hates photos and social media so he’s not on mine. If anyone said to him or my friends I was trying to act single on social media, they’d laugh them out of town.
? never said I was going to become best friends with her. You need to read what I wrote again
Yawn, millionth post on this, guys watch porn, it’s normal, get over it
well at least I can say I had a three some it was nice while it lasted
I get it. I just think that stopping the spending money would encourage him to get a job.
Really, though, if he’d rather move home with Mommy than get a job, is he who you want at all?
Why would you stay with someone with glaring red flags, I’m starting think they should teach people the importance of breaking up with toxic people in school or something. How can so many people skip this life lesson?
If he’s that comfortable being DISGUSTING in front of you what is he hiding? If he’s that comfortable boldly blowing through boundaries when you tell him to stop, what else is he capable of?
Leave. He sounds like pervert and would make a rotten partner
Slow down. You confessed you had feelings, so now how about starting with a date? Dinner, a walk, coffee at a cafe,, someplace you can sit and talk. See where things go from there.
Im aware of all events within our relationship. There was only 1 true case of cheating. There’s been questionable events such as entertaining someone across the globe on a video game but nothing significant. Nothing that would cause me to care too much. But I’m certain I want to work things out. Maybe with professional help.
Well good! Hopefully you can keep the friendship and now you know your bounds and can shift the feelings elsewhere.
I'm still friends with the one who turned me down, it is definitely possible for those feelings to totally dissipate over time.
That’s not okay at all. Destroy the folder and leave. That’s creepy and those girls did not consent to him keeping that after the fact. Any man that keeps exes nudes and such is disgusting. Run.
fuck my mind is doing gymnastics trying to imagine a friend finding app that isn't a dating/hooking up app lol
I wasn't in the physical state of being ready for sex. I'd be less confused if I was all over him, making out, touching him, very much initiating. He's talking about moments where I talk about/refer to us having fun later. I've tried talking… I've told him so many times how he's the only one for me, I love him, I want to be with him. I support him in everything. The only part I can't handle is the distance and the aggression. He hurt his hand because he punched something, I don't know what as I was out of the room, as a result of us arguing. In the same argument he threw things and terrified me. He told me I'd never find a boyfriend as good as him. How can I be horny when that's all I can think about? It's only been 2 weeks.
God, not another one of these purveyors of bullshit sophistry. She would be sleeping with another person who isn’t you. That violates your agreement of monogamy. The fact that it happens to be another woman is irrelevant. It isn’t the person she married.
Do you enjoy being a doormat?
Report him! Anonymously anything. If you don’t you’re just as bad!!!! Not trying to be mean but I would not be able to sleep knowing this is happening
Her response so that when I stated that she does that was “ it’s part of my job, I’ve never gone farther then just talking or “flirting” and have turned down any thing past that.”
Idk it’s confusing I feel bad cause maybe I shouldn’t of pressed the lil like button when I was drunk but the working on things wasn’t really going anywhere so that’s why I did it. We realistically only start working on things this week and I liked the story on Friday while hammered.
Her response so that when I stated that she does that was “ it’s part of my job, I’ve never gone farther then just talking or “flirting” and have turned down any thing past that.”
Idk it’s confusing I feel bad cause maybe I shouldn’t of pressed the lil like button when I was drunk but the working on things wasn’t really going anywhere so that’s why I did it. We realistically only start working on things this week and I liked the story on Friday while hammered.
I would like to point out that almost all system that let you send dick pics also allow you to unsend messages and pictures. If it WAS an accident he would have unsent it along with the apology.
Leaving the pic as sent while apologizing is basically a neon sign telling you he send it to who he want to send it to and wants get to see it.
Hot lesson i learned myself: one weird thing is explanable. More are not. Same with all that secretive behavior and lying – if something really is innocent, there is no need to lie. Never.
He has at least one secret relationship. Maybe more. Don't sleep with him without a protection and get youself to test on STD's. I am dead serious.
I dated narc psycho. Three years, he took me to event, to meet his friemds, even his family who teased him about proposing me regulary…i would swear you on my own life he is in love with me and noone else, hell, that he hadn't when. Truth is, he had. Lies i observed the pattern/truth later:
I am just naturaly secretive/don't want to share pictures/tags on any social media. = I claim i am single or very unhappy in my relationship (“my wife is terrible and doesn't understand me) and don't want to show oposite true about it.
I had to keep it secret, look at your response! You are crazy! = This is usual manipulative bulshit, if it's innocent, 1) there is no need to hide it from you 2) or suggest your crazy jelaous over reaction he never saw before. The “crazy” response is to hiding (aka him giving it the signature of smt off, what needs to be hidden).
Making scene to look you as a bad guy, telling weird lies with even weirder explanation. Are you already starting to doubt youself? And getting weird texts, which seems like for someone else, ripped from dialogue, with weird explanation it was meant to you, ofc?
*Out of nowhere he talks badly about specific ones women. (She is terrible/dumm/so clingy/is trying to seduce me, what a loser! I would never touch her!) * = He sleeps with them, or wants to, and he does it to avert your suspicion. The same shit he told you about them, is he telling to them about you.
If you asking his phone, he will make a huge scene about how hurt is bc you don't trust him. The purpose is to delete all and hand it clear to you later “to prove” his innocent and making you a bad guy. If you do it, you need to have the phone right on spot, and looking even under male names texts, like “Paul from work”. Or ask him on permit to download a text renewer app, and do it on spot.
I am sorry, OP, but i am sure you recognize one or more things from this list. There IS sm else. If you don't believe me, call to any of his female coworker with convo “i know he has a lot now, but i really want him to suprise with half year wedding annivesary this week, can help me and tell me if he could clock out any time sooner?” and watch his reaction (i guess inexplicably raging in purest).
The way this reads to me is that she cheated on you and is sorry but just can't be with you any more. Just accept it, you've been broken up with, it happens to most people.
Youre just making blind judgements. Why would i be okay with the fact that she comes and goes without giving a solution? Whats wrong with me setting boundaries?
“I bursted into her etc..” so is it okay for her to break up one day, reaches out the next and wants to talk and meet, and then the day after it she says she doesnt want to? I dont understand your logic tbh
Ouch, ouch, ouch.
OP, please let go of him. Carefully, but ASAP.
1000% agree. This is really bad and disturbing, no matter which way it's looked at. Run…….
Dude is gaslighting.