20 thoughts on “LorenMiller1 live sex chats for YOU!”
When he said you weren't sympathetic, you should have said, “I'm sorry. It sucks not feeling like going to work. Maybe a rest day will help.” People tend to not like unsolicited advice.
As for him, he overreacted to your statement and avoiding you wasn't the best.
Anyway, I would apologize to him for the unsolicited advice and say you want to move past this.
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles use the following formatting:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two. Here is an example:
Did you read my comment? I have adressed it both, apology is useless asvthese are only words. Words are cheap and can mean nothing. She should quit her job asap if she wants to stay with you. No compromises or half measures.
To be honest, I'm trying to figure out if this is a troll post, because your lack of self-awareness here is slightly dumbfounding. You are demanding a great deal from him and offering nothing.
my mom helped me learn how to disconnect from my emotional feelings, but that was a long time ago. Counselors try to bring that up as a reason for my relationship difficulty but I think it's just simply that sex isn't my thing.
This is very telling. You are resistant to even a professional's opinion on your emotional state, you feel that you know better than the expert, while at the same time admitting an extreme emotional disconnect. This, in conjunction with the profound level of disregard you're displaying towards your husband, tells me there's way more going on here than just the fact that you don't want sex.
I also need him to understand sex is just something other people do but it's not something we need in our otherwise good marriage.
Why do you get to unilaterally decide what “we” need? You are free to decide what you need, you are not free to decide what he needs. And no, your marriage is not “otherwise good”, you told him you never loved him!
So what can I do to convince him to lower his expectations without him considering divorce?
You can't. Your entire post is a “how do I have my cake and eat it too?” question. You get to decide what you need and whether you want sex, but you seem to be unaware that your husband is his own person who also gets to decide what he needs.
Honestly, this post displays an almost sociopathic disregard for another person's feelings and needs. I sincerely don't mean that as an insult, I mean it as a plea for you to get help and let yourself consider that maybe there's more going on here than your desire for a sexless marriage.
He’s controlling. Not okay. He’s got you completely isolated to the point that none of his friends even know about you. This isn’t about clubbing. You are in a dangerous situation. Please leave.
I mean, he can’t even stop himself from jerking off in the bathroom at work. There’s no situation in which that’s ok. It’s not even about the porn usage.
The problem with going to the same person to vent every single time you have an issue with your partner is that eventually that person will develop an incredibly negative view of your partner. Long after your fiance has gotten over Incident C, his mother is still thinking “that terrible woman did did Incident C, and I also remember her being responsible for Incidents A and B earlier.”
This happens because your fiance is with you every day, so he sees the issues and he also sees the resolutions and he also sees day after day after day of everything being fine. But his mother does NOT have that front row view of your relationship, and if the main things she hears about it are the fights and negatives then that will color her perception of you and affect your relationship with her. Hell, even if he vents to her about good AND bad things people will naturally focus more on the bad.
If this were a random friend he was venting to then ok, that friend may develop a bad image of you, but that's not the end of the world. You don't have to get along with ALL of his friends and they don't all have to get along with you. But when the person he vents to is his mother then that creates a pretty significant problem for you, because she's about to be your mother in law and apparently they're very close. She will be a factor in your relationship, and her opinion of you will matter.
I would recommend communicating all of that to your husband, because I doubt he's thought of the long term complication his venting is creating. He definitely needs a safe space to talk, but I would just remind him that 90% of what his mother knows about your relationship is what he tells her, and if he's only talking to her when things are bad she will get a very skewed view of his future wife. That's not good for either of you.
Leave and don’t let him waste anymore of your time. You’re only 37. I bet it sucks a lot right now but you’ll get through it. You have your life ahead of you.
When he said you weren't sympathetic, you should have said, “I'm sorry. It sucks not feeling like going to work. Maybe a rest day will help.” People tend to not like unsolicited advice.
As for him, he overreacted to your statement and avoiding you wasn't the best.
Anyway, I would apologize to him for the unsolicited advice and say you want to move past this.
Hello /u/makeupweapon,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles use the following formatting:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Did you read my comment? I have adressed it both, apology is useless asvthese are only words. Words are cheap and can mean nothing. She should quit her job asap if she wants to stay with you. No compromises or half measures.
for some reason i can’t see the comment?
To be honest, I'm trying to figure out if this is a troll post, because your lack of self-awareness here is slightly dumbfounding. You are demanding a great deal from him and offering nothing.
my mom helped me learn how to disconnect from my emotional feelings, but that was a long time ago. Counselors try to bring that up as a reason for my relationship difficulty but I think it's just simply that sex isn't my thing.
This is very telling. You are resistant to even a professional's opinion on your emotional state, you feel that you know better than the expert, while at the same time admitting an extreme emotional disconnect. This, in conjunction with the profound level of disregard you're displaying towards your husband, tells me there's way more going on here than just the fact that you don't want sex.
I also need him to understand sex is just something other people do but it's not something we need in our otherwise good marriage.
Why do you get to unilaterally decide what “we” need? You are free to decide what you need, you are not free to decide what he needs. And no, your marriage is not “otherwise good”, you told him you never loved him!
So what can I do to convince him to lower his expectations without him considering divorce?
You can't. Your entire post is a “how do I have my cake and eat it too?” question. You get to decide what you need and whether you want sex, but you seem to be unaware that your husband is his own person who also gets to decide what he needs.
Honestly, this post displays an almost sociopathic disregard for another person's feelings and needs. I sincerely don't mean that as an insult, I mean it as a plea for you to get help and let yourself consider that maybe there's more going on here than your desire for a sexless marriage.
dont waste time on people who hate you.
He’s controlling. Not okay. He’s got you completely isolated to the point that none of his friends even know about you. This isn’t about clubbing. You are in a dangerous situation. Please leave.
Break up with him immediately. You're in danger if you stay. He will escalate things.
A woman’s worth is not decided by her fucking fertility. You could adopt, IUI, IVF, and even surrogacy.
But instead you chose to ruin a good thing because you read one fucking article, didn’t realize that made you an MD.
A chin implant isn’t a big deal but I would still tell her so you aren’t keeping any secrets.
Google de pession
For some reason this sub is obsessed with the idea of marriage.
Just FYI – You can spend the rest of your lives together extremely happily without ever getting married.
He’s not the guy he says he is. Compare his words to his actions.
I mean, he can’t even stop himself from jerking off in the bathroom at work. There’s no situation in which that’s ok. It’s not even about the porn usage.
you are the same person you were before. it doesnt change who you are – just potentially your DNA.
Maybe talk to your mother on the side? ask her without your dad around ?
The problem with going to the same person to vent every single time you have an issue with your partner is that eventually that person will develop an incredibly negative view of your partner. Long after your fiance has gotten over Incident C, his mother is still thinking “that terrible woman did did Incident C, and I also remember her being responsible for Incidents A and B earlier.”
This happens because your fiance is with you every day, so he sees the issues and he also sees the resolutions and he also sees day after day after day of everything being fine. But his mother does NOT have that front row view of your relationship, and if the main things she hears about it are the fights and negatives then that will color her perception of you and affect your relationship with her. Hell, even if he vents to her about good AND bad things people will naturally focus more on the bad.
If this were a random friend he was venting to then ok, that friend may develop a bad image of you, but that's not the end of the world. You don't have to get along with ALL of his friends and they don't all have to get along with you. But when the person he vents to is his mother then that creates a pretty significant problem for you, because she's about to be your mother in law and apparently they're very close. She will be a factor in your relationship, and her opinion of you will matter.
I would recommend communicating all of that to your husband, because I doubt he's thought of the long term complication his venting is creating. He definitely needs a safe space to talk, but I would just remind him that 90% of what his mother knows about your relationship is what he tells her, and if he's only talking to her when things are bad she will get a very skewed view of his future wife. That's not good for either of you.
Leave and don’t let him waste anymore of your time. You’re only 37. I bet it sucks a lot right now but you’ll get through it. You have your life ahead of you.
You have been given the gift of “Things to come”
keep your firm stance and walk away
Sounds like he's dating her, not you.
Boy fuck you