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Lola, 18 y.o.
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Date: October 27, 2022
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You said when he gets called out on his misogyny, he denies it, soo how is he a good communicator???
Was the dad aware that you were planning to schedule a vacation since he was paying for the course, before he agreed to pay it?
When it comes down to it, she knows who she is. Couples counseling won’t change her attraction to women. Try talking to her! You guys have children together, you may be able to salvage a friendship if you’re open to it. It’s a lot to take in but at the end of the day would you want her to be with you when she doesn’t want to be?
i'm so sorry your husband is treating you this way. you say that you tried to help make their christmas magical but what did your husband do? you weren't able to make the cookies; why couldn't he try? i don't think think this is all on you. as a child, i'd pick where my cousins go so i don't think its the kids fault.
I hate to ask this but what are the requirements for the visa? I know they’re super very hot and I’m planning to start going through the process myself next year.
But considering that the process is that very hot, and she doesn’t even want to be with you, isn’t it obvious what she wants? The green card. Please just break it off with her and find someone who actually wants to be with you and sees you as their Plan A and ONLY their Plan A, no B, C or D. You deserve better OP < 3
If you’ve been together for a long time, you should be able to have a conversation about the random items from the house that were wrapped and “gifted”. Why did your partner feel that they couldn’t just say, “hey, I’m sorry I don’t have too much for you this year, can we make it up by doing xyz?”
It’s never an AH move to have a conversation with your significant other if they have hurt your feelings.
I think you tell your husband exactly what you just told us, minus any absolute statements like “so she's not moving back in” or anything like that.
I say this to people a lot but they rarely do it. You've succinctly summed up the situation in as objective a way as you can for a group of strangers on the internet, and then laid out your problems with the situation in a concise and compelling way. You've already done 90% of the work of having the conversation with him, now all you need to do is deliver it.
I don't know the housing situation you guys have, whether it's your place or his place or someplace you bought together. Ultimately it doesn't matter since this is less about establishing who's in charge of the house and more about finding a way to navigate this that preserves the peace in the marriage. So I would just tell him “I am concerned about her moving back in with us because of X, Y, and Z…I am also bothered by the way she treated and talked about me when I went out of my way to help her last time. I'm concerned that she will not stick to a timeline you set for her, and I'm concerned that you won't enforce it if she doesn't.”
Just lay out why you don't like this idea as calmly as possible, then see if he can reassure you or reach a compromise that works for both of you. Ultimately a new roommate, which is essentially the situation here, is a two-yes one-no situation but vetoing his daughter moving in would cause a serious strain on your marriage, so if the issue CAN be talked out I recommend doing so.
Get back in the fucking house and she can go sort her feelings at her parents or in a hotel.
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I still don’t see why I’m getting bashed I didn’t say anything bad about her at all. One comment said I’m selfish for not having the child and moving on
I bet you did nazi that coming huh.
Sounds like he’s heading down the road of being completely engulfed in our generations version of Fox News. If I were you, I wouldn’t want to be there when it all comes to a head
It’s never your fault that someone yells at you or calls you names. Never. I’m glad he’s in therapy but wait until you see a big change in behavior before moving forward. Make sure he knows that you will not tolerate any yelling or cursing. Tell him that you will leave the area any time he yells. And do it. If he says, don’t you walk away, remind him that you will do so every time. You can tell I’ve been in your situation.
As a guy, it sounds as if he likes you Go for it.
Honestly I don't say this often and I don't say this lightly, but I think your gf might be a bit sexist. This is the kind of crap that I used to hear from the “girls rule, boys drool” type in Middle School. She's deflecting because she doesn't want to tell you the real reason that she thinks Mays comments are okay and yours aren't, because she knows it would start a larger argument that could end your relationship.
Be upfront with her about what you’re feeling. Tell her you’re feeling insecure about your relationship because you work long hours and would like to spend more time with her and the kids. Tell her you’re uncomfortable about your kid calling another man “dada” because you feel like you’re being displaced in your own family.
Don’t accuse her of anything because that will just make her defensive and less likely to see your side. Focus on how you’re feeling and what you’d like the both of you to do to work on the situation. Frame it as a problem that you both work towards resolving and look for things that both of you can do to improve your relationship.
You think THIS is better for your kids than you guys divorcing? If so,both of you need a therapy. For different reasons,but you both do.
Op said she listened to the rest of his session and laid in the same position as before so he wouldn't know she was awake
Thank you for hearing me out! It means a lot. Definitely over… gonna get some ice cream to cheer myself up!
Telling people he has a gf not wife is totally different from just not sharing a relationship status like i said in my first comment.
Because you are 18.