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Date: October 7, 2022
You're emotionally cheating. If your wife isn't giving you what you need then have a long convo with her about it. Tbh it sounds like you're mistaking a close friendship with a beautiful woman for something it isn't and you're opting for the new and shiny rather than working on what you have. If you want to save the marriage take a step back from colleague and let them know your behavior was not appropriate and you are trying to fix your relationship. If you just want shiny and new you need to end it before
Ah. I’m so use to comments like that being in reference to something else. Thank you.
Threats of breaking up is a potential mind game, it is a tactic used to place these doubts in your head, and keep off balance. That way he maintains control over the narrative of the relationship.
Don't fall for any of it. He is gaslighting you about your behaviour for the same reason. If he isolates you socially it makes it easier for him to control you.
Pay close attention to how he is treating you for a few weeks to learn how men like this operate than dump his ass.
You need to make a decision. Let me state the obvious. To be able to move on and get over your ex you need stop your contact. It is as obvious as it gets. Therefore make your choice between your partner and your ex, but if you choose your current family you need stop all form of contaxts with your ex. Combine it with therapy and you should be able to put your romantic feelings for him to rest.
Then why is he on the loan and how did he get on the registration without a license? Why doesn't he have one at 29?
It's not like we get into relationships knowing this shit, it usually shows itself over time. I wish it were easy, and, having the advice of strangers is nice considering many people (including me) have no one else to vent/talk to about these things.
I’m in a similar situation but the genders are reversed. My ex husband fucked up royally and I broke up with him and I’ve been with my guy best friend for over a year, nothing can convince me to go back. We went snowboarding in Mammoth, ex husband raped me and stole my car, drove from mammoth to Tahoe. Abandoned my unlocked Audi on the side of the road after he ran it out of gas and was found by Tahoe/El dorado search and rescue a mile out into the woods, hot meditating in a snow melt stream in a nitrous abuse induced psychosis. He’s mad but everyone has their breaking point. Her boyfriend sounds done, there’s no coming back from this.
My parents live close by so likely the pup would stay with them for a bit if I go to his place or if he’s ok once my dog has all her shots to introduce her to his dogs. He has dogs so it’s not that he doesn’t like them or want to be around them he just doesn’t know if I can do it on my own which is fair but also I’m ready. It is a lot of work but it’s rewarding in the end after all the stress. We know we aren’t going to get married or anything but we’re really happy and I don’t want this to end because of a puppy. At the same time I’m not going to hold off on something I need for a guy, I did that and was miserable for three years. I just want to figure this out so he knows he’s still important to me and I’d love to make it work
Ur an adult. My bf and I are 6-7 years apart. If he treats u right and is a good person then why not.
I didn't say you said he was abusive. I am saying people are acting like he only started treating her right after she left him. Maybe he wasn't sure what he wanted until the end? Maybe he was falling out of love with her, so he agreed to an open relationship. Maybe it took him a bit to realize what he would be giving up. Maybe he needed to be alone to see what he was missing.
His wife is a substitute teacher. She didn't cut her hours to 0 lol she asked to not be the first person they called. She can't very well go sub for teacher that's already in their class.
Why would you buy a house before getting married your gut is right
You have to decide if not having a job is worth this.
But the reverse would be true too, and it would have been good for both of us if she had said yes. I didn't ask her out to lunch because I wanted a more casual relationship at least at first.
If you hadn’t expressed the boundaries before you can’t be TOO upset when they’re broken. Yeah it hurts and sure it was unexpected and yea it was rude but you’re both young and learning and part of that is being a bit messy. One of my first sort of dates with my now husband he kept asking if he was cock blocking me cuz I took him to a pretty queer club and he knew I was new to the city and single. That night I didn’t do anything with anyone but him but before we were official there were other people – who I didn’t know as well or liked nearly as much as him – for both of us. It became obvious they weren’t the right ones the closer him and I got tho.
Who knows if any of this will help. You are totally justified in feeling hurt but I’d say process it, talk to her (try to use I feel sentences instead of blaming) and set some boundaries if you wanna try to date for real
I can appreciate that you have a bad opinion of CPAP but the newer machines and masks are quiet and comfortable.
And again, it’s not just an inconvenience but a serious health issue.
Wow, calling this “no different from sexual assault” is beyond offensive. If she actually thought it was no different, then it would just be SA. Instead it's pretty normal and it doesn't even sound like you actively did anything. It also sounds like you were falling asleep with your hand near her boob. Almost sounds like she wanted this to be the narrative and is going to tell everyone about it now. Good luck
OP literally states in the comments that it is not a hyperbole. His first girlfriend had a picture of her and another guy go around campus, and now he genuinely thinks people who cheat should literally get prison time.
It absolutely is unhinged and worrying. I would not feel safe, if he even thinks I cheated I'd be afraid he'd become violent. He gets into such a rage that he has to turn the TV off seeing fictional people pretend to cheat. That is not stable.
Get an abortion and divorce him Seriously. He's full of shit. He may have thought it was you (I don't believe that bs) but who did your sister think she was in bed with?
With respect, you need to refer the GF to the police, and you need to talk to a lawyer ASAP to figure out your options.
You're married to a criminal stalker who is escalating his crimes.
He may be your husband, but it is your body, and he has absolutely no right to without your say so. Any touching, kissing, or body penetration without express consent is assault, what he is doing is multiple forms of rape, not just one.
He has broken you down into believing you are nothing more than his slave, his plaything to control whenever he wants to.
No, he gives you the pretense of been a good man by doing those things, it is not because he loves you, it is to keep you believing you are doing everything wrong while he remains King. It is brainwashing, mental manipulation and control.
Your self-esteem is shattered into nothing. Fix this by making a plan with a trusted family member or friend to leave, in the meantime document everything he does, including with the children (there's no reason to not believe the kids aren't also been assaulted) and start sleeping in a separate room if you can, or even with the kids at night.
Maybe …just maybe…you two shouldn't be together?
I’m inexperienced in this lifestyle but I’ve heard “after care” is important when trying to be sexually adventurous. Check in on how he is doing, let him talk through his emotions, and remind him that you love him. I’ve never tried swinging but I have let thoughts fester and that’s a sure way to end a relationship. Personally, I think couples therapy should be discussed before trying anything sexual so it’s understood as part of the process and doesn’t scare anyone after the fact.
Good luck!
Woman's perspective here: I wouldn't be surprised if she's cheating on you and using this whole hysterical act as a scape goat. It's SUSPECT as hell that a woman would choose to sleep on the floor and then was just “gone in the morning”, then you didn't hear from her for two days??? Seems calculated and manipulative AF.
Makes sense since the US is basically the bro-frat-dude of countries. Loud, needs to be the center of attention, major control issues, and will rape smaller countries who can’t consent behind dumpsters.
Therapy? Couples therapy?
Have you tried communicating with them and discussing your concerns?
Sounds like a very pretty ring was involved….that she didn’t get.
Role-playing is only at home when we are alone. Small comments here or there. It is when she gets into odd situations. She is a klutz and gets herself into odd predicaments.
My mom's social media is a public profile and she tags me in the post all the time. My mom always says she is just trying to show the love of her family. most of the coworkers that have a problem are older and traditional. That is the best way to put it. We are a group of like 25 people and work closely and have to work closely together.
I am totally okay with them having their own relationship, like I said in the post I have an individual friendship with both of them too. We all hang out individually in whatever order, that doesn’t bother me. I’m frustrated that we talk about plans in the group chat or something then they do it without me. I really don’t feel like it’s personal or malicious, because I know these people very well.
It’s moreso when they do things we talk about doing as a group or things we have previously done together and we have said is our thing. I’m busy a lot so I don’t know if they’re not inviting me bc I frequently have to turn things down bc work and grad school, which has been said by them before, when I didn’t see them during finals month-ish. One of them made a comment about how they hadn’t seen me and I was in hiding for the month and my work schedule takes over a lot of my weekend daytime hours