If you’re breaking up over a baby’s name, this makes me wonder what other stronger incompatibilities there are. But anyway it seems that your boyfriend may need some kind of counselling and therapy to navigate why he feels so strongly about this issue.
While I still think this isn’t about the name, here are some possible compromise solutions (which you should consider ONLY after your boyfriend gets help or starts to act reasonably by understanding baby naming isn’t a unilateral decision):
1 – Use the brother’s name as first name but with a completely different nickname than what the brother was called (e.g. “Christopher” called “Kit”, all-purpose nicknames like Buddy, Ace, Sonny, his initials…)
2 – Use a version of the brother’s name : e.g. If he was called Jacob, use James; instead of John, Ivan, Evan, Ian, etc. Or a female version of the name (Charles > Charlotte, William > Willa…)
3 – Some other kind of tribute to the brother… same initials, favourite place, favourite song,
4 – Give the child your surname and use your boyfriend’s / his brother’s surname as a first name. This way the kid is named not ONLY after his uncle, but also after his paternal family. (Anyway, in this situation I would seriously encourage you to give your child your own surname, even if it’s hyphenated).
For more help, you could cross post this to r/namenerds. But I repeat… this isn’t about a baby name.
What surname are you using for the baby? Maybe a possible compromise is that you use the brother’s
I couldn’t date someone if I needed verbal permission every time I kissed them.
If you’re breaking up over a baby’s name, this makes me wonder what other stronger incompatibilities there are. But anyway it seems that your boyfriend may need some kind of counselling and therapy to navigate why he feels so strongly about this issue.
While I still think this isn’t about the name, here are some possible compromise solutions (which you should consider ONLY after your boyfriend gets help or starts to act reasonably by understanding baby naming isn’t a unilateral decision):
1 – Use the brother’s name as first name but with a completely different nickname than what the brother was called (e.g. “Christopher” called “Kit”, all-purpose nicknames like Buddy, Ace, Sonny, his initials…)
2 – Use a version of the brother’s name : e.g. If he was called Jacob, use James; instead of John, Ivan, Evan, Ian, etc. Or a female version of the name (Charles > Charlotte, William > Willa…)
3 – Some other kind of tribute to the brother… same initials, favourite place, favourite song,
4 – Give the child your surname and use your boyfriend’s / his brother’s surname as a first name. This way the kid is named not ONLY after his uncle, but also after his paternal family. (Anyway, in this situation I would seriously encourage you to give your child your own surname, even if it’s hyphenated).
For more help, you could cross post this to r/namenerds. But I repeat… this isn’t about a baby name.
What surname are you using for the baby? Maybe a possible compromise is that you use the brother’s