You put too much value in this whole soulmate concept. Google soulmates and twin flames etc. it doesn’t mean that because you found your soulmate you are supposed to endure physical and verbal abuse. Or that this is now the person for the rest of your life. It just means that you connect with her…but there can also be others you can connect with.
Having said that. I would sit her down and try to talk it out, I.e. suggest getting professional help to advance your relationship into a healthy direction. Anything else seems too destructive and it won’t get magically better. Your relationship, all relationships, require work. Some more than others, depending how mature the individuals in a relationship are and how mature the relationship is as a unit. It sound like you guys have issues communicating and that is a foundation for a healthy relationship. Communication doesn’t end with building grammatically correct sentence, it gets difficult when you need to understand your own trigger and emotions and also word them out so your partner can understand it too and work with it. If that can’t happen, your emotions will take over and you ll become erratic and start calling each other name or even get physical (which is the worst form of escalation). Again, if you are not willing to work this out, taking a more rational approach this relationship will not magically get better.
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Okay. It's time to start depositing them, or at least a non-noticeable portion of them, in an account he doesn't know about. It should be at an entirely different bank (not just a different branch) than your current bank. Do not bring the account documents into your house, or leave them in your car, or any other space he can access. Your employer should be able to direct deposit your pay into more than one account, so even if you're just diverting $50 a week, that's still something. More would be better, but whatever you can do without freaking him out, that's what you do. Come up with a good excuse for why you're making a little less (or ask for a small raise and divert that money. Whatever works.) You must have some money of your own to hire a divorce lawyer, rent an apartment, all that. When you have that, even if you don't leave, you have freedom and that's vital.
I don’t know what is the problem here. She is rich and she does not have qualms about lying on basic things like college applications. It sounds like she really knows how to get a head start in life and get things she wants.
Also wealthy people really believe they are middle or upper-middle class because there is always someone wealthier. I am coming from a wealthy family, I still believe I am middle class because I don’t own many things that signifies wealth such as a jet, boat, or a 15000 sqf mansion. Wealthy people don’t compare themselves to the general population, they compare themselves to other wealthy people.
Also, is there anyone who does not lie on college apps? The US system FORCES you to lie on your applications. I did not apply colleges in the US, studied in Europe instead as I am originally from there but the US college apps are a joke.
Many people consider their pets family. So if a member of his family is fighting for their life that's going to be most peoples priority. Beyond that I think you're overthinking things. A text to check in and let him know you care is perfectly acceptable.
Lol my philosophy I don’t answer any phones without a caller ID.
You put too much value in this whole soulmate concept. Google soulmates and twin flames etc. it doesn’t mean that because you found your soulmate you are supposed to endure physical and verbal abuse. Or that this is now the person for the rest of your life. It just means that you connect with her…but there can also be others you can connect with.
Having said that. I would sit her down and try to talk it out, I.e. suggest getting professional help to advance your relationship into a healthy direction. Anything else seems too destructive and it won’t get magically better. Your relationship, all relationships, require work. Some more than others, depending how mature the individuals in a relationship are and how mature the relationship is as a unit. It sound like you guys have issues communicating and that is a foundation for a healthy relationship. Communication doesn’t end with building grammatically correct sentence, it gets difficult when you need to understand your own trigger and emotions and also word them out so your partner can understand it too and work with it. If that can’t happen, your emotions will take over and you ll become erratic and start calling each other name or even get physical (which is the worst form of escalation). Again, if you are not willing to work this out, taking a more rational approach this relationship will not magically get better.
Hello /u/CollectionSafe2222,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
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include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
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[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
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Your mom is right.
This setup works. He just didn't wanna care for his kids.
Okay. It's time to start depositing them, or at least a non-noticeable portion of them, in an account he doesn't know about. It should be at an entirely different bank (not just a different branch) than your current bank. Do not bring the account documents into your house, or leave them in your car, or any other space he can access. Your employer should be able to direct deposit your pay into more than one account, so even if you're just diverting $50 a week, that's still something. More would be better, but whatever you can do without freaking him out, that's what you do. Come up with a good excuse for why you're making a little less (or ask for a small raise and divert that money. Whatever works.) You must have some money of your own to hire a divorce lawyer, rent an apartment, all that. When you have that, even if you don't leave, you have freedom and that's vital.
I don’t know what is the problem here. She is rich and she does not have qualms about lying on basic things like college applications. It sounds like she really knows how to get a head start in life and get things she wants.
Also wealthy people really believe they are middle or upper-middle class because there is always someone wealthier. I am coming from a wealthy family, I still believe I am middle class because I don’t own many things that signifies wealth such as a jet, boat, or a 15000 sqf mansion. Wealthy people don’t compare themselves to the general population, they compare themselves to other wealthy people.
Also, is there anyone who does not lie on college apps? The US system FORCES you to lie on your applications. I did not apply colleges in the US, studied in Europe instead as I am originally from there but the US college apps are a joke.
Many people consider their pets family. So if a member of his family is fighting for their life that's going to be most peoples priority. Beyond that I think you're overthinking things. A text to check in and let him know you care is perfectly acceptable.