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liliithcarter chat
Date: October 11, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
liliithcarter chat
I've had the same therapist for 14 years.
Ironically, I'm upgrading in every way. I'm starting a new job that is quadruple the most I've ever made before (and in my state that won't affect alimony), I'm moving into a huge downtown Penthouse even though it's a rental, etc.. I'm excited to start my new life. So it makes me feel even worse that I'm celebrating all this newfound success while leaving her in this bad situation. That's why I wanted to cover her bills until we parted ways but my attorneys won't let me.
It was discussed when she told you she didn’t want them, the only way her getting her tubes tied would possibly affect you is if you planned to impregnate her against her wishes.
I have some underlying trauma from past relationships so I can't really help but get jealous or worried when I'm not with him.
This is part of the problem, and you seem to know it so I'm not going to rehash it much more than this.
he basically thinks I'm ridiculous and should just “dissociate”
This is also a problem because what the actual fuck is this response. What loving partner hears the anxious thoughts of the person they love and goes “lol get over it”?
My partner and I on-line together and are both introverts too. Time without your partner can be so so important to keeping the relationship level and stable. Doesn't mean you have to go weeks without talking or seeing each other. Just means that it doesn't have to be every day yk? I'm not going to suddenly decide to go have a one night stand with a guy just because I spent some time without my bf, and if your partner IS like that you deserve better anyways.
I know it can be very hot with attachment anxieties, and I commend you for recognizing it in yourself (that's the hardest step!). I'll throw out the typical “therapy” response of this subreddit, but there are lots of CBT exercises out there for free live that could also be of use to you!
The thing is, you can be unlucky once, you can be unlucky even twice when it comes to protection, but you can't be unlucky five times, if the kids weren't planned. This screams irresponsibility and lack of thinking further than throwing a stone and a stick against the wind.
Also, having no valid job to support herself, I don't want to assume anything but… I am assuming, yeah yeah, I know, shame on me. This speaks volumes. I mean, I understand the struggle of finding a good job with five kids and no dad's around but, I mean… It was her choice in the making.
While I feel badly for you it's probably good that you've realised that this is not the woman for you. She's clearly too easily influenced and suggestible. I feel sorry for Susan, but if your girlfriend can't figure out the difference between your behaviour and Susan's abusive boyfriend's behaviour, and wants you to jump through a bunch of hoops because she's insecure, then she is being abusive to you mentally, emotionally, and she's just too insecure to be in a relationship. I think you're better off without her.
It's probably over with her. Your expression of preference was seemingly a simple response to a simple question to you. But the truth is that she wanted to hear you say that she is beautiful as she is. However innocent you think your comment was, to her it was an arrow through her heart. No amount of apology or explanation will overcome the hurt, however unintentional it was. Remember this lesson. If asked this question in the future, never say anything other than you think she is beautiful the way she is. Just my thoughts offered for your consideration. Do whatever makes you happy. Best wishes.
Instead of accepting his mistakes he is love bombing you. He sounds super toxic and i personally would suggest breaking up
The way I look at it, family and blood aren't the same. A family is a group that looks after each other, blood just means you share DNA. The reasons people still join gangs is because they want that sense of belonging, a family.