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Date: October 29, 2022
AmateurPub
OP, the other posters here could totally be right, but I want to provide another perspective. Yesterday my partner slid a check I received day ago over to me and said “endorse this please”. I did. Still haven’t deposited it. (I will after I post this, I PROMISE.)
I come from a similar background to your husband. While I’ve gotten way way better about managing finances, checks still trip me up! I’ve never had a job where I was paid by check and actually cashed all of them. It’s absolutely insane. But when I get a check, my brain sees it as the money. It’s there and I can cash it whenever, but I got the money. (It’s possible this is a weird form of object permanence issues that stems from ADHD? I don’t know.)
Then, it’s taken too long for me to cash the check. In the past if I really needed access to the money, I’d go to the bank and make the deposit, or use mobile deposit. But if need doesn’t spur me into action I will keep “forgetting” or unintentionally deprioritizing the act of making the deposit. Because the money’s right there, in the check on my desk! Nothing short of an overdraft fee has ever been able to convince me otherwise. I say this realizing that I have a strange mental disconnect over this and your husband may as well.
When it’s gone on much too long I get embarrassed and worried the bank won’t take the check anymore. And I don’t want to raise it to my employer who (in my mind) will think I’m a dimwit for not depositing my check(s) on time. And I don’t want to raise it to my partner because I feel ashamed that I don’t pull my weight managing our finances, and foolish for not having done something that feels so easy. It feels terrible to feel like she has to babysit me when I’m managing money. Realistically though, I need the help.
So I get paid via direct deposit now. Sometimes I freelance and get a check, but my partner knows all this and will keep sliding it in front of me until something happens.
$17k is an insane amount of money in this context, but it might not be malicious. He might be flailing over something that feels very silly and difficult to put words to. That doesn’t mean a conversation doesn’t have to happen – it absolutely does. Just… don’t pack your bags quite yet.
The real question is how is this currently coming up, eight years later?
Why is everyone talking about gym memberships , that last long text looked like she was lining up evidence
Just cancel you card and change gyms , I would want serious space from this person
That makes sense actually, considering she threw a fit over him reducing his hours. It would mean less money if the plan was for Bestie and wife to use him for extra income for their two kids if they aren't his, or if they're just planning to leave him and take everything.