He's gaslighting you. Social media doesn't just put random stuff on your feed – it goes off of what he's clicking on.
What I will say is that you're likely going to get mixed responses here. Male commenters will try and defend it by saying that all guys do this and it's normal/you're overreacting/looking is different to touching etc. Just know that your feelings are valid and YOUR boundaries are YOUR boundaries. I hope you manage to come to a conclusion.
OP, I think you should deeply analyze why this bothers you. As in, why it bothers you in any other way that that your gf was violated and deeply hurt. Does it bother you she had a sexual past before you, she wasn't a virgin? Is it bc her having sex with anyone else, even before your relationship, makes her somewhat used, not worth as much?
She has a body and a past. A woman does not become soiled because she had sex.
If her completely normal past bothers you so much, you need to ask yourself WHY and really seek out an answer within yourself, bc that is a problem.
Do you not see what's wrong here? You have zero romantic feelings for these other guys, yet you're being guilted into going despite you knowing nothing is going to happen. Is that something you want to deal with every time you want to go and do something for yourself? Listen to the advice here, and please rethink your relationship.
If he had a licence then it would be a tough one, as you already agreed to him paying half, and regardless of what you think, if he pays half, especially if he has a paper trail of the transactions to prove it, he could be entitled to half of the cars value should you split later on.
But all that is moot as he doesn’t have a license.
So tell him no. Refuse any further payment from him, and make plans to repay any money he has already paid to the car.
Maybe they aren’t up to share it with me. Their roommate seems to know more of what’s going on since they are a mutual friend of ours.
It’s not that I don’t feel a connection but it’s just not as strong as it used to be. They might have. They are good at hiding it since our friends hasn’t told me anything.
Damn ngl that really hurt reading that I might be being used. It’s making think about a few things and circumstances. Shoot hahaha
One. She was probably lying to you. You have only her word, and people like her rope partners in the same way she did you. Make you feel special and amazing like you're the only one that's ever really seen or appreciated them. You really need to look up trauma bonding, narcissistic personality disorder, cycles of abuse, and go to see a professional therapist to get out from under her grasp and you blaming yourself.
i wouldn't worry about it. Bro is something that's so ingrained in my vocabulary at this point that it comes out unbidden, and I'm certainly not thinking about dudes during moments when it comes out.
Yeah it feels like thats the case. I don't want to have to let go but I also now have walls that won't let me feel a single emotion towards him. I told him I needed more time to myself to figure it out but yet after 2 months I still cant seem to get the walls down. And indeed, I got tired.. idk if there's a way back from it in this situation
As far as your GF lying to you about her coworker your anger is justified and righteous. I can also see why she did it based on how crazy this dipshit coworker was. It honestly sounded like she has a very justifiable and valid argument for believing that she was in a very volatile and dangerous situation. I can understand her thinking that she didn't want to add more fuel to the fire with this psycho and unfortunately made a bad decision. But I don't believe she made a bad decision to betray or upset you. I honestly think she was just trying to safely navigate through this situation.
Because of this I honestly wouldn't waste too much time stressing out about it. She sounds like a genuinely good person who was in a highly volatile situation. Definitely have a very direct and clear conversation that moving forward that there's to be no more lies for any reason. Then I would just move on. But that is just me. Best of luck.
I will never understand why so many people want to know or talk about their partners past sexual history. Why? Just why? I find it especially outrageous that a person would also be so insecure that they would actually be threatened and get jealous about their partners past sexual history.
Sadly, this is going to be hot for many people to hear. Your partner had amazing sexual experiences with other people before you. They were exciting and satisfying. Probably up until that moment if they were really attracted to the other person the sex was more than likely the best sex they had ever had with anyone up until then. All of the wonder and excitement that you are currently feeling, especially in new relationships, is the same thing that they felt in the beginning of past relationships. Are you ok? Are you still with me?
With that being said for some reason the relationship didn't work out which is why you two are now dating. Maybe they weren't compatible. Maybe one was jealous. Who knows why it didn't work out all we can be sure of is that it didn't work out. However great the sex was in the beginning it wasn't great enough to save the relationship.
But the person you are currently with has to have had every one of those experiences, good and bad, to become the person you have now fallen for and want to be with. For that, you should be thankful. Not insecure or jealous. That's why so many people lie about their past history. They don't want to deal with their partners'irrational jealousy and insecurity.
That's funny . Even if you do it will ruin what ever it is you have .
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He's gaslighting you. Social media doesn't just put random stuff on your feed – it goes off of what he's clicking on.
What I will say is that you're likely going to get mixed responses here. Male commenters will try and defend it by saying that all guys do this and it's normal/you're overreacting/looking is different to touching etc. Just know that your feelings are valid and YOUR boundaries are YOUR boundaries. I hope you manage to come to a conclusion.
OP, I think you should deeply analyze why this bothers you. As in, why it bothers you in any other way that that your gf was violated and deeply hurt. Does it bother you she had a sexual past before you, she wasn't a virgin? Is it bc her having sex with anyone else, even before your relationship, makes her somewhat used, not worth as much?
She has a body and a past. A woman does not become soiled because she had sex.
If her completely normal past bothers you so much, you need to ask yourself WHY and really seek out an answer within yourself, bc that is a problem.
Do you not see what's wrong here? You have zero romantic feelings for these other guys, yet you're being guilted into going despite you knowing nothing is going to happen. Is that something you want to deal with every time you want to go and do something for yourself? Listen to the advice here, and please rethink your relationship.
Clearly the pillow has replaced the wife and he didn’t even notice /s
Imagine being jealous of a pillow…that sounds like a stressful life
If he had a licence then it would be a tough one, as you already agreed to him paying half, and regardless of what you think, if he pays half, especially if he has a paper trail of the transactions to prove it, he could be entitled to half of the cars value should you split later on.
But all that is moot as he doesn’t have a license.
So tell him no. Refuse any further payment from him, and make plans to repay any money he has already paid to the car.
Maybe they aren’t up to share it with me. Their roommate seems to know more of what’s going on since they are a mutual friend of ours.
It’s not that I don’t feel a connection but it’s just not as strong as it used to be. They might have. They are good at hiding it since our friends hasn’t told me anything.
Damn ngl that really hurt reading that I might be being used. It’s making think about a few things and circumstances. Shoot hahaha
One. She was probably lying to you. You have only her word, and people like her rope partners in the same way she did you. Make you feel special and amazing like you're the only one that's ever really seen or appreciated them. You really need to look up trauma bonding, narcissistic personality disorder, cycles of abuse, and go to see a professional therapist to get out from under her grasp and you blaming yourself.
Could she be his daughter? Else I believe blackmail.
i wouldn't worry about it. Bro is something that's so ingrained in my vocabulary at this point that it comes out unbidden, and I'm certainly not thinking about dudes during moments when it comes out.
Your request wasn’t clear. But plenty of people were asking for examples of it happening in general, so I’ll leave the link as a reference.
It’s not even march 3rd yet……
What’s wrong with that? It’s a baby, is it not? That’s the reason OP’s bf is sad. He’s grieving the loss of his future son/daughter
Yeah it feels like thats the case. I don't want to have to let go but I also now have walls that won't let me feel a single emotion towards him. I told him I needed more time to myself to figure it out but yet after 2 months I still cant seem to get the walls down. And indeed, I got tired.. idk if there's a way back from it in this situation
Paying attention to what's been happening to working people is why I would consider a PhD in English lit a bad decision.
I get it though, my first degree was Psych, and I went back for Compsci once I realized I messed up the first time.
As far as your GF lying to you about her coworker your anger is justified and righteous. I can also see why she did it based on how crazy this dipshit coworker was. It honestly sounded like she has a very justifiable and valid argument for believing that she was in a very volatile and dangerous situation. I can understand her thinking that she didn't want to add more fuel to the fire with this psycho and unfortunately made a bad decision. But I don't believe she made a bad decision to betray or upset you. I honestly think she was just trying to safely navigate through this situation.
Because of this I honestly wouldn't waste too much time stressing out about it. She sounds like a genuinely good person who was in a highly volatile situation. Definitely have a very direct and clear conversation that moving forward that there's to be no more lies for any reason. Then I would just move on. But that is just me. Best of luck.
I will never understand why so many people want to know or talk about their partners past sexual history. Why? Just why? I find it especially outrageous that a person would also be so insecure that they would actually be threatened and get jealous about their partners past sexual history.
Sadly, this is going to be hot for many people to hear. Your partner had amazing sexual experiences with other people before you. They were exciting and satisfying. Probably up until that moment if they were really attracted to the other person the sex was more than likely the best sex they had ever had with anyone up until then. All of the wonder and excitement that you are currently feeling, especially in new relationships, is the same thing that they felt in the beginning of past relationships. Are you ok? Are you still with me?
With that being said for some reason the relationship didn't work out which is why you two are now dating. Maybe they weren't compatible. Maybe one was jealous. Who knows why it didn't work out all we can be sure of is that it didn't work out. However great the sex was in the beginning it wasn't great enough to save the relationship.
But the person you are currently with has to have had every one of those experiences, good and bad, to become the person you have now fallen for and want to be with. For that, you should be thankful. Not insecure or jealous. That's why so many people lie about their past history. They don't want to deal with their partners'irrational jealousy and insecurity.
cheating is a one strike and you’re out sort of situation
Either this was never actually true or you leave.
Yeah once you realize you don't want the same thing for your futures then it's time to call it. Especially about kids and religion.