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♥, RIDE DILDO ♥ ♥ domi on clit [322 tokens remaining]
Date: October 9, 2022
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♥, RIDE DILDO ♥ ♥ domi on clit [322 tokens remaining]
Your trauma isn't your partner's fault. It is unreasonable for you to lay the blame at your trauma for your mistreatment of him. Everyone has traumas, no one gets to use those traumas to excuse bad behavior.
Now as for how you make it up to him, you're going to need to show it. Be reasonable, you just lobbed an unfair comment at him for nothing he had done. He's going to have trouble trusting you as a result as he should. So you need to show him by your actions that you did not mean what you said. As to what actions you might take, I'll leave that for you to consider. What would you have wanted from the people who gave you trauma and would you feel better if you saw actions to prove the words that must be said?
This. I think the best approach is to not focus as much on the hobby and more on OPs personal needs and desires. So it comes across as 'hey, I am feeling lonely' and not 'your hobby sucks'.
Emphasize you miss quality time together because you really cherish that, and as a tidy person you need clean spaces to be in. So maybe encourage him to tidy more after baking, and schedule in set times to spend together. So all days are baking days, except tuesday, that's datenight and you spend it together.
Are you in therapy?
he thought it may make me not want him back for sure,
So he never gave you the opportunity to make an informed decision in the first place…. also, depending on the reason you broke up in the first place….I'd also be concerned about him already having had this other woman lined up.
Don't bother going to the club or even trying to defend yourself, nothing is going to make him believe you. Please walk or run from this guy , you don't want to spend any more time with some one like him, if you love some one and care for them you don't treat people like hes treating you. You deserve so much better love .
Educate myself on what exactly ? – since you didn’t even mention neurodivergence AT ALL in the story lmao ! I’m talking about when you said “ I’m very likely on the spectrum-still workings on official diagnosis “ which obviously means you haven’t even been diagnosed so WHO KNOWS what other mental illnesses you have but going by this story YOU NEED TO MAKE THAT A PRIORITY.
Great idea…I found it to be simple tho, she said she was done so we're done. It sucks losing the friend more than the lover, the friend was the best, the lover never loved…
Cut him off. Immediately.
I know you don't want to seem like you're overreacting and start a fight, but if you don't say anything, things are only going to get worse from here.
You need to make it very clear to him that he's crossing a boundary for you, and he needs to stop or you both need to think about your relationship.
If he's already getting defensive, it's because he knows his actions are wrong and messed up. If he can't even hear you out about it, you may have already lost him.
This. I was considered a “mature” teenager, didn't cause a fuss, but I was incredibly immature when it came to dating at that age, so it's all relative and we have to consider where people are at developmentally and experientially when it comes to relationships.
Bro, it’s over. Get out.
Just for the record, I think the ring is lovely.
I don’t think it’s worth making a fuss over and you can choose your own wedding ring so maybe pick something you love for that.
He sounds really thoughtful and you do too. I think you’ll both be fine as long as you keep in mind what’s really important. A long happy marriage requires some sort of compromise and appreciation.
I was torn on this one but reading your comment changed my mind. Right out of college doesn’t necessarily mean thinking about a future together. It’s possible but may not be a serious conversation yet. It’s actually still extremely young. 21/22ish? Plenty more to consider before marriage. Getting a job, especially with the economy the way it is right now is a bigger concern.
I’m not a Taylor Swift fan but getting tickets to her concerts is absolutely not easy. This could be a once in a lifetime opportunity for her. She will have others but you may not get tickets. At that age, I would say go to the concert and OP can decide if it’s breakup worthy.
Actually showering everyday is harming your skin because of the natural ph-score you got. Yeah you should wash yourself everyday but it doesn’t need to be a shower, using a hand cloth can be fine as well
Find another man, no one is allowed to make you feel like that.
Does she like 1955 Caddy's?
Honestly…prob not the proposal she dreams of. Sitting in the back of a car, 3 feet from the back of a strangers head. Then, whatever emotions she has afterwards ,(excitement, joy, happiness, anger, resentment, whatever)…she is stuck in a car with a stranger.
If she is into cars (specifically the 55 Caddy), maybe find somewhere for that driver to take you, get out, and THEN propose.
she simply said that I should be here because she has heart problems and who knows how many more christmases we will have together.
Well I can see where your brother learned his manipulation skills!
You wouldn't be doing anything wrong if you skipped Christmas with your parents this year. Or you could go and try not to get drawn into your brother's nonsense. The choice is yours.
She says it was a complete accident and regretted it instantly. Also says she was cheated on in the past with a best friend situation and that’s why she said it. But what bothers me about it is that she accused me of doing something that she had done. Then getting mad at not believing me. She told me she finally told me because she felt so bad hiding something and didn’t know how to just say something. What do i do. I mean i like her a lot. She built this huge “no lies” in a relationship, but yet she lied.
And the fact that she’s STILL hanging out with this dude even after her husband asked her not to is a huge red flag, if they’re not having sex already they definitely will be soon
Ew.
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He shamed you for an abortion when yo7 were barely an adult
He wants to talk marriage with your parents when you've bot even been dating 6 months.
He wants you on the Rollercoaster and wants you to feel grateful he's with you. He also love bombs you.
Run! Run far far away feom all his BRIGHT RED FLAGS!
I was really bummed when I realized after the fact that I basically gave them the content they wanted, it’s a lose lose situation unfortunately
Why would you even think about reconciling? Read your post again.
how people treat animals says a lot about their character
this man is an abuser. what happens if he gets mad at you?
run. and take your dog with you. this is animal cruelty and abuse.
A lot of us have unresolved trauma. Only shitty people use it as an excuse to be shitty.
Do better, you’re a fucking adult.
No move on
Take temporary satisfaction in knowing your cousins are sex workers, ( though sex workers are people too, but thats a different topic) and when you get back to school go see a therapist.
I think this is it. She sees him as just a friend, but admits maybe she is naive to his intentions. I see him as someone romantically interested in her.
Younare correct though, it's a good early relationship test to check how each of us deals with situations. Should I be saying or doing anything to support her through this?
Well contacting the insurance agency for info isn't bad. She already told you she doesn't want to have her own kids.
Someone who loves you wouldn’t want you doing something that you don’t want to do for their own gratification. Yes this is a huge red flag
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Yeah, no argument with what needs to be done, just the order.
In addition to the assault, the rest of his behaviour falls under what is called coercive control in my country. It is also a criminal offence and is considered abuse
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You should really get a divorce. You are not on the same side anymore and he checked out. There is no reason to stay in a relationship like this anymore. Being together for 8 years isn't a reason.
I am guessing if you do have kids he would have to pay maintenance on them if you are apart and this would be based on his income so you epund be ok.
yeah I totally get you
This is really not okay in any way. You have every right to feel hurt. Idc who you are, it is NEVER okay to be mad at someone for saying no to sex for ANY reason. He is being toxic and highly manipulative.
So the second you didn't get your way and she lightly pumped the brakes with what sound like a pretty healthy boundary for someone with kids who just suffered through a divorce, you “were so insecure ” you were forced to immediately join a dating app? You then “weren't going to do anything, and it was just a lapse in judgment,” but a week later, it was still on your phone? Sounds like she was right to be cautious of jumping back into a serious living situation so quickly at all, but especially with you. If your self esteem and ego are so fragile that when you feel insecure you choose cheating and external validation over expressing your concerns and needs to her, you absolutely haven't done the self work necessary to be a good partner to someone else. If you're not in therapy please get yourself some and work through these feelings and why you reverted to that behavior. Your apology is not sincere if it took you getting caught to make it.
With a restraining order?
Girl the last time I've ever hit anyone was like in elementary school, and it's pretty similar with all my guy friends, 'only hits me sometimes' is the lowest of low in terms of bars.
If your bf won't acknowledge there is a problem, I doubt if you will find a solution.
As to crating her too long, you could hire someone to come in the middle of the day to walk her. That might be a solution.
Good luck, OP.
Giiiiirl I have had 2 kids and have a labia just like yours plus it’s darkened as time has gone by. My current partner does not care at all! It’s a vagina. Cut this loser out of your life.
It could be that – or it could be him not having a clue how draining and nauseating and dizzying any stage of pregnancy can get, how smells (like cleaning products and coffee) make you sick, and he is miffed that she is not pulling her weight, while she is trying to keep her latest meal down, not keel over, and couldn't care less about vacuuming the effing floors.
We don't know, because he kept intentionally vague about the details (which leads me to believe they probably wouldn't come out in his favor) – but that's why I wrote several disclaimers that this is just my personal impression & interpretation, and I absolutely lay no claim to being right about this.
Apparently she didn't mind before.
But he is not able to keep the rules of an open relationship.
Obviously it is cheating
You did the right thing and are a great friend. I do think your friend whose car it is could offer to reimburse you about half of the tire costs and split it simply because it all happened when you were doing her a pretty generous last-minute favor, but that's up to her.
Couldn't speak on the mm, or the trans stuff, not my thing. But as far as going down on a girl, I look forward to doing it. Can't think of a girl I've been with that I didn't offer it anyway I got it. Sometimes they said yes, sometimes they didn't. But if I offer it's cause I want to.
Him not being involved in the threesome is a pretty big clue.
I think it would be appropriate to feel blame/ guilt if you’d introduced her to NOS but that wasn’t the case.
I have timesheets from a job I dropped three years ago…
Apparently it wasn't all perfect or perfect wasn't enough for you, since you went snooping…
Imo, talk to him, say the truth promise to never breach his trust ever again, ask him for answers. Go from there. Be ready for him to get defensive and angry.
Honestly, had you read a post “She went through my phone after 8 months of an otherwise perfect relationship”, what would you think?
She has run up a lot of credit card bills at her age which shows she is terrible with money. This is one of many from what you have stated. How much does she owe in total? Until she deals with how she got and make plans to get out and new loans more credit cards are not it, they this will continue.
If you want him to give his money he knows what the situation was at home. Sorry it becomes his problem when you asked him to get involved.
Can you get a small job at poundland or Aldi not sure maybe 16 hours a week? They are normally always looking for work. This will pay it off in 9/10 weeks. You can make payment next month once you get paid and do it quickly. This is a better as it is you wanting to pay off her debt.
Playing devil's advocate here to some of the other comments….
It's a pretty unusual situation. Not a lot of people get an opportunity to party with celebrities and if you/she genuinely believe its a good contact for her future, then it's understandable that she went/maintains contact. Personally I'd argue its just them using her for whatever purpose, but to her, it probably doesn't or didn't feel that way before she went. Or perhaps it did but she felt she could handle it.
I think in the circumstances you described, alot of people would fall to some form of peer pressure and try drugs.
So, is your issue that she went? It doesn't seem to be, you acknowledge the contact is important for her future.
Is your issue that she might have cheated? Again, your comments suggest not.
Imo if your issue then is that she lied about taking drugs etc. I personally wouldn't chuck away someone I love for that as a first offence. People do young and stupid things all the time without the added mix of celebrities etc.
If you genuinely believe that she has spent the night turning down a bunch of celebrities to honour her love and commitment to you, then in some respects you have a girl who has done better than I suspect many would in that situation but has tripped up by lying about the drugs. She isn't responsible for people hitting on her. That for me edge's in that direction of people being responsible for the sexual aggression of others. It is a tricky one though in terms of her potentially going to a situation that she knew would involve this if you weren't comfortable with her going at all. Without the celebrity, future connection element, I would be on the same side as everyone else, she's gone for the attention, knowing what would happen, but you hopefully know her heart and if this would be a partner repeated in another normal circumstance.
I honestly do think though, that someone's earlier comment about trickle truth here is something you need to be very careful of. Sadly I do think this could be a piece by piece story and some of the drugs you mentioned don't go hand in hand with wise sexual decisions.
Best of luck to you.
This is the first story like this with a happy ending in a long time. Oh, your future self will thank you for not marrying a serial cheater.
My dad did shit like that and to me that is a super huge red flag. I wouldn't even have gone out with him that night much less moved in with him.
What’s gonna make you probably feel worse is that they most likely don’t laugh. Your gf probably feels awful. She most likely didn’t plan to do this to you. It just happened and she just liked him more. It sucks but frankly you just need to move on with your life. You can go assault him… you can scream and cry.. you can beg forgiveness after.. you can drink yourself stupid. It will change nothing because she doesn’t love you. You need to be happy with yourself, be happy you aren’t being strung along, and move forward. Violence isn’t going to solve anything. You might even get a night or two in jail depending…
Please don't focus on the piss
This is a very depressed man. I have a small window into how one can be that depressed. He needs help. This would like saying “my husband is shitting blood and I am disgusted and want to leave him.” Mental illness is serious. This is a symptom
At 18 if my boyfriend did this, wed babe broken up. At 26, if my husband did this, I’d be grossed and disgusted and we’d have several talks about wtf just happened. Butttttttt!!!!! Even without ptsd some people enjoy piss play. You don’t have to accept him and he won’t be alone forever, if this is what he needs. Exploring weird gross things during sex is normal, but only if both people consent. Don’t shame him, but let him know, you’re not in to that type of shit. You also don’t have to forgive him. Or anyone ever. Just do what makes you feel peace.
The problem is you already communicated how anxious this behaviour makes you, and you tell us she just calls herself a bad person. But she never changes her ways to make you feel more comfortable. You’d rather avoid bringing it up to avoid her having a breakdown, and this is quite literally enabling.
I don’t think there’s any other solution for this except for an ultimatum: attend therapy or break up.
You need to look out for your mental health, too. You shouldn’t allow yourself to feel this way to make her feel better.
Buddy you're too young. Just move on. This is utter chaos and you'll move on to bigger and better things in time.
Reddit neckbeard is funny. Well done.
I strongly believe that too, anyone can learn, which makes this post contradictory. I guess I have lost patience or as stated before I have stopped believing in her. It's a scary thought
I also had super creepy coaches in high school. One particular bowling coach flirted with me for a couple years before asking me on a date when I was 17 (after he found out that I was in an abusive relationship, of course. He was 28). At the time, he told me that him and his fiancé split so it just made me feel special and given my relationship at the time, I ended up going. He tried to pressure me into having sex with him that night (didn’t happen), but I ended up cutting that off for multiple reasons. Apparently he never actually left his fiancé and he had 2 adopted children ?. He texted me for years after that trying to reconnect but I never gave him the time of day. Eventually when I turned 21, he knew I was out one drinking one evening. When it got late he texted and called me trying to convince me to let him pick me up and take me to a hotel. I turned him down and looked him up on Fb. He was married to the woman he adopted children with! ?
More babies or divorce? But catholics don't believe in divorce.
I have big boobs and my ex said he preferred small boobs. I’m now with a man that loves my big boobs and it makes me so happy. That’s gonna be you, girl. You got this!
You know she’s cheating. You don’t have to confront her if you don’t want to. Get a lawyer, draw up the papers, buy her a weekend trip and clear out while she’s gone. Leave the papers on the kitchen table. That works too.
But if you want to confront her, at some point you will have to tell her you know or give her a chance to come clean. You have to get her to understand that you know – and that moment will be awful for both of you. But there’s no getting around it if you choose to confront her.
Women don’t care so much about looks. You could give off “gonna be rich” vibes. That’s a good thing. Also (my ex is a Dane) Scandinavians don’t care so much about money. Pick your chin up and start working on getting your self together. Viking women are very loyal. Make her proud to call you her ‘kærester’.
NEVER MAKE LIFE-CHANGING SACRIFICES FOR ANYONE. People here think marriage is a secure binding between 2 people but divorces happen. People are unreliable, there is no unconditional anything, online your life for you and God if you are religious.
People fuck up in relationships and then make amends and move past it. It does happen.
Thank you, I actually just booked an appointment with the same counselor she has. I appreciate it!
This is super weird. I had lots of friends of various genders at uni and never deleted the messages. Indeed, being able to reference the messages back, when we talked about class things, was really useful. Plus…lying about meeting? I wouldn’t get married unless he comes perfectly clean – even then, I’d make a very well considered decision, because lying and hiding messages is not a great sign, even when he broke off contact.
hi
No it isn't lol
You sound full of so much contempt for her! I bet she feels all of your resentment. Go back to therapy dude
Exactly lmao. This shit is so cringy it hurts
Did you not read the post? The friend is only going to be there because HIS friends are taking him. If you took someone somewhere and they ran off with someone else, how would you feel?
It sounds like your bf has a sex problem/addiction. This is seriously unhealthy behavior and not red flags for your relationship, but red flags he needs to get help. You can help him through this but it's something he must seek help overcoming. You should start with seeing an expert and moving from there. Masturbating at work might be some people's kink but the consequences can be life altering.
Reading comprehension. They didn't just mention “old lovers,” they also mentioned men they rejected romantically but stayed friends with platonically.
With an addict nothing matters but that. He doesn’t think he’s an addict and won’t get help. So you need to walk away not put this off for a month thinking he will « take it better » then.
It’s true. If he wasn’t 100% into it, this will fuck him up. I he agreed to something that he didn’t want. And now he’s forever going to have the vision of four guys fucking his wife in front of him
I know he said “OK.” but he clearly didn’t mean it.
You can mean something fully but then when it becomes reality it's actually not. Even if you discuss things for months.
Thank you for sharing this perspective. This is really helpful.
We do this! It’s more of an issue of my confidence with bottoming. He does a fantastic job but I can almost never get into the headspace because I feel like I’m not supposed to be there. I have complete trust in him and love him very much, I just don’t know how to become comfortable as a bottom.
dump him and go into therapy instead. You're not happy. You know deep down inside that he doesnt treat you well and is distorting your view of whats real and whats not. Staying with him and trying to bend to him will further damage you. If your bff's partner treated them the way he treats you, what would you tell her?
he never cared about her
Then he wouldn't be dating her for FIVE MONTHS
only loved me
Then he wouldn't be DATING OTHER GIRLS
his family (who always loved me and was obviously misled to believe we’d broken up) doesn’t particularly like her
His own FAMILY thinks she's the main chick now, and that you two broke up!
She did you a favor by telling you, he's literal human garbage. Imagine a man doing that BS to your mom, or your sister, or your daughter. Whatever you'd tell them to do, do it for yourself.
What’s your proof? I mean if someone has posted something similar I really do need to know
I’ve never proposed, but I’m sure it will be scary when I do!
If it feels right, follow your heart. You know him and your relationship more than anyone else.
Do you have a good friend that knows you both? If you still wanna bounce it off someone that’s the person to do it with.
Good luck!
You need to see a therapist. You can’t blame your wife for looking young and you can’t blame her for other people’s actions. The reason you’re blaming her is because you clearly didn’t want to move and you blame her for that. Moving back to your hometown isn’t gonna magically fix everything and make you not resent her. You either need to stand with your wife or give up on your family because you don’t like what other people think about your marriage
I’m so so sorry this happened to you. The pain is real and it will always be with you, but I promise it does get easier with time. One of the best gifts my ex fiancé ever gave me was cheating on me BEFORE we got married, and it was soul crushing, but I got through it and years later I am in a much better place with a much better person. The sting of the betrayal, the embarrassment, the heartbreak still comes up from time to time because it’s a traumatic thing to go through, but I promise you will get through this. You are a good person, you are worthy of love, and there are people out there that are going to see the good in you and not take advantage of it.
Also yeah, run away from the bestie. ??
If it were that likely to be a set up, the police and the prosecutors would not have wasted their time to take it to trial. Unless he was acquitted because some last minute evidence proved that someone else did it and he just was at the wrong time in the wrong place, or the accuser was the daughter of the chief of police, or that everyone involved is a known racist and he happens to be the race they hate, if it made it to trial he certainly did it.
That’s come across my mind as well. Like people can see that he’s very competent at work, but don’t seem to want to hang around with him socially. But it’s just that when he’s around our old university friends he’s great and they all love him.
No, that's not all you changed. Cool story though.
>>Bob cried with me and said he wishes he knew how to help me? Idk
I'm rolling my eyes *so hard* at this.
Wow, I get it's a tough time for you and your new family, but your son is also family and seems to be under a lot of stress, otherwise he wouldn't behave this way. It's your responsibility as a parent to be empathetic towards your son and understand what he is going through. If you shove him out of your life won't resolve these problems but makes him resent you and that new family of yours even more. Ask yourself – how would you feel in his place?
I think there's more to it. I think he's having an affair. For all affection to suddenly stop, and he blames it all on OP. OP he is emotionally blackmailing you. Sorry to say, but no matter what you do it will never be enough. See if he'll go to couples therapy because this is emotional abuse. If he says no then you should go on your own. You need to wrap your head around this new agenda of his and realize that someone who loves you does not treat you like this.
If you’re separated then you have absolutely no real grounds to expect anything from him at all. That’s the entire point of being separated.
You sound petty and controlling. Him going to this concert has absolutely nothing to do with your relationship, you’re just putting hurdles in front of him for absolutely no reason
Have you ever stopped and talked to her about whether she’s actually in pain while you guys are having sex?
It’s in the comments. She told him it was too early.
You have good points. When I have guests, I lock up my weapon so I don't wake up and forget I have guests (somehow) and end up shooting someone.
If I lived with people, any weapons would be in storage. It's not worth the risk.
Listen to what you are perceiving. It's likely true. He sounds immature, and tbh, any man over 22 who dates a teenager isn't doing it for the deep meaningfulness of a mature relationship.
Age gap relationships are fine, as long as they're in the window of “same era of life” you and he are not in that. If he was 43 and you were 31, that would be in that same stage of life era. But as 19 and 31, nope.
You have so much more potential than dating a douchebag 30 something man-boy.
Did you have this conversation sober and clear headed or was this a drunken argument? Has this boundary come up before. How did she know “this crossed a line”. Is she the free spirit dance in her underpants type or is this out of character?
Second of all, you must absolutely hold your friends to the same standards as your girlfriend. It doesn’t matter if she went up to them or y’all are an open couple. Your friends should have turned her almost hot bootay around and plunked her your lap. They knew she was drunk and had no problem putting their hands all over her. What if it wasn’t your girlfriend? What if it was some strange drunken girl and she didn’t have a person there looking out for her?? This seems a bit predatory.
Who is forced into parenthood? Her body her choice goes both ways. Any time you have sex (naturally for procreation) there is a small chance that you can create a child. She did not force him to have sex he chose to sleep with her. Now she is pregnant and she wants to keep her child that is 100% her right. If anything we should be looking into laws to allow the unwilling parent to sign their rights away and not be obligated to pay child support not guilt tripping a woman who wants to keep her child
Who is forced into parenthood? Her body her choice goes both ways. Any time you have sex (naturally for procreation) there is a small chance that you can create a child. She did not force him to have sex he chose to sleep with her. Now she is pregnant and she wants to keep her child that is 100% her right. If anything we should be looking into laws to allow the unwilling parent to sign their rights away and not be obligated to pay child support not guilt tripping a woman who wants to keep her child
What your husband is doing is manipulating you into dropping the subject of his road rage. If he threatens to off himself he is hoping you will stop talking about it and then he doesn’t have to deal with the consequences of his own actions. He is dangerous and this situation isn’t healthy.
It's not a silly post at all OP. I've had to break up with somebody I still loved before. It's damn hot. You're each other's people, the person you go to, as well, and breaking all of that off will probably suck.
But there will also be a release of tension and stress because I think you're right. Your soon-to-be-ex is not the partner for you.
You can't be responsible for this man's mental health either. You tried to go to therapy with him to find a healthy way to stay together, or even split up if that's the way it went, and he refused. He needs to take responsibility for his own mental health. And you are responsible for yours. And it sounds, to me, like splitting up sooner is best for you. Good luck OP. You seem like good people. You will find that person that's right for you.
Because he tried multiple times to communicate it with her already amd she is changing the discussion. Also the partie that has the problem by not having sex should communicate the problem. It is not the other persons responsibility to guess and to guess right! She is not communicating at all, she changes the subject and she is also playing with him. When she is horny she wants staff but then she plays with him a little and it doesn't go further than that!!!. Communication is the key and it should not be always from the side of the man but from the women also.
You dont need proof to leave. You can just leave.
Because he is the love of my life and I feel like this one problem shouldn't split us up then we was never a strong couple? it's just me personally I find it embarrassing to tell him I don't wanna make him feel embarrassed other than that he is a perfect boyfriend
I already told him I’d get back to on everything.
Never worth the risk
There's 2 billion other women of dating age. At least a few in his local area aren't actively communicating with men they find attractive enough to sleep with – and have already done it
Opposite sex friendships that are highkey thinly-veiled situationships are a modern invention, and probably one of the biggest red flags imaginable
Having a close heterosexual friend of the opposite sex is already serious cause for concern. Adding the we've had sex angle was unheard of in serious relationships more than 30 years ago
People are recently being taught by weirdos who take sex positivity too deep that they should trust situations that common sense dictates are probably going to end up with more sex occurring
First of all, modern people are way less trustworthy than our grandparents were, and THEY didn't let this stuff fly
And no, that's fucking weird. Your monogamous bf/gf/husband/wife should never have a close confidant of the opposite sex unless they're related or proven homosexual
Worse is they already be mutually sexually attracted & compatible, basically they like each other enough to fuck but a relationship was an inconvenience to one or both parties, or never brought up in the first place
What happens when those feelings are caught again? Or a relationship suddenly becomes a viable option? We've heard THOSE stories 999999999999999 times, cheating and heartbreak
I've never heard the benefit for the outside party to taking on a person with a former sex partner bestie. “Wow my wife's best guy friend who used to slaughter those guts is a really great dude and we get along great. He's not jealous at all, he gives good advice that supports the relationship when we have issues instead of slandering me, and he has even babysat while we go to dinner dates. I genuinely appreciate his presence in my wife's life, he's like a brother to me”
Yeah right. The 'call him up and ask him if he wants to have sex right now' test always shows the real dynamic of the relationship – sexually tense
Unrealized & unrequited sexual intent is still sexual intent
Now if it's an open relationship? Throw a party, who cares
Breaks rarely if ever work and the only times they do is often when the couple have been together for a long time and need to do a reset to find themselves again.
If you two are already at this stage after just 6 months of dating, I think you need more of a “breakup” than a “break”.
By the sounds of it though, you seem to be doing all of the heavy lifting in this and have a lot more at stake in keeping the relationship ticking along than he has. He really just seems to be along for the ride.
My question is how long is a reasonable amount of time for me to put that off?
However long you want.
You're grieving. Grief is different for everyone. And nothing says you ever have to meet this guy if you don't want to.
However, if there's a family event and he's there, you might meet him then and that's something you'd have to accept at any family event where people bring dates. But there's a difference between that and actually scheduling/arranging to meet him.
If you don't want to you don't want to and No is a complete sentence. It may make your mom sad and you might disconnect from her a little bit but that's the price of your No.
Your mom loves you and wants to support you and be there for you but she wants to protect her own feelings, too, and right now that's her boyfriend, which I hope isn't just a rebound.
You might want to consider a therapist for this one as well, that you can spill extra details to and get more specific advice.
But in your shoes I would explain to mom:
“I'm still grieving dad. If I met this guy, in order to be socially polite, I'd be sitting there bottling up my emotions and getting torn up inside watching the two of you together. It would be torture. I can't handle it right now. So unless you want to force me through that anyway, please stop dropping hints about meeting him. If it happens it happens but I just don't want to think about it right now.”
Year 3 is the reality check in relationships (unless they're abusive then it's around 6 years). It's when everyone is comfortable with being themselves fully, you are used to eachother and maybe even that newish spark dulls. If your relationship is failing even before that point then it's never going to get better.
Maybe I'm too harsh on him but why would he feel the need to scroll through Instagram or Whatsapp while on our date
Boudoir…that's like an art room, right?
no more anxiety over not feeling enough for my partner? shit might have to sign myself up
According to her, she just doesn't want me to like anything that she doesn't or is not familiar with.
I would not continue a relationship with someone who felt that way