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kirbstawp, 18 y.o.
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Online Live Sex Chat rooms kirbstawp
Date: November 8, 2022
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I feel hurt because in our current stage in our relationship I have not done anything wrong. I have admitted, and apologize to her about my pass actions. Currently I feel like I’m carry a lot of the weight in our day to day life. Daily chores, finances, etc…
I'd probably block you too. You guys ended your romantic relationship amicably and decided to remain friends right? You got into a new relationship and bf abused your friend so what do you do? You cut off your friend instead of your bf. And once that relationship ends, you reach back out to friend since you can talk to him again. Maybe you don't realize this but that's hella insulting. A long time ago I decided that if I have to fight to keep my friends in my life because of my bf, well bf can kick rocks. I've been with my husband for 16 years and he never once told me who i can and can't be friends with. Just a little advice for the future, never let your SO tell you who you can be friends with. Never drop a friend who did nothing wrong for some guy. If the friend sucks then obviously drop them but otherwise, your friendships are not your bfs business or his place to control.
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Forever Mamas boy until he grows up.
Yeah, don’t say anything you wouldn’t mind your partner reading. What’s the issue? You said something on a public forum.
Talk about shitting where you eat… yikes! Well, you're a bit fucked in more than one way. You made a mistake and now you're realizing that.
Mistakes usually come with prices to pay. So, you either disassociate yourself from him and wifey or keep entertaining until you know you're clear. You have 2 choices and that's it. Careful execution is required for both…. good luck!
Why can't HE go in the other room?
He sounds like a big baby
In my country age of consent is 15. That's when you're regarded as mature enough to have sex with anyone you want. But I'll be honest. If a 22 year old had sex with a 15 year old, that would be considered grooming without a doubt.
I don't think every relationship with an age gap is due to grooming, but it's not just about legality.
He can be fully committed to you and completely love you, but still not want to take your name. But you’re requiring proof via him doing what you want as an act of love. That’s guilt tripping, classic manipulation tactic, ie if you love me you’ll do this for me…
Let's put aside that he wants to have sex and a child with another woman… He just wants a child for his mother. To make her pride. Thos is so wrong. And who should rise the child? And he has depression and is isolating from himself and then he wants to get a child? A responsibility for his life that involves so much work and costs? This whole think sounds so immature and selfish. I bet he has put no thoughts anything. He see this as buying a new toy.
You just are together for one year and he already shows you such a side. He also knew of your condition and somehow it seems like “i want an excuse to dleep with another women”. Blood pressure is normally perfectly treatable with medications and diet. So this is notjing what makes you feel pressured to give in.
Maybe he already got his affair pregnant and now must fake a reason why he wants a child with another woman.
For just the way he want to use a child as a tool, and giving no thought about everything, i would be out.
Dating a grandpa is wild
I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt here and give you a woman's perspective.
It's unfortunate that society values women, particularly young women, on their physical attractiveness. Women are constantly barraged with adverts for makeup and skincare that promise to make you look younger, prettier and therefore more valuable. This plays out in the media with so many famous women feeling the need to get plastic surgery to try and preserve what understandably they have been told is the single most important thing you have. If a woman isn't being hounded for letting themselves go they're being told they're pathetic and desperate for doing all these things to stay young.
Generally speaking as you get older you tend to care less and less what other people think of you but she is still young and very much neck deep in these societal expectations and thus has adapted by placing her value in what she is as opposed to who she is, hence why she seeks validation in the reaction her looks will get from other people.
I could say that she should see a therapist but honestly this really isn't uncommon or even surprising and many women feel this way, and someone telling you not to doesn't change the fact that those environmental pressures are still there. Of course there's not much you can do about those either other than reassuring her about how you feel about her, most importantly what it is about her person, her hobbies, her behaviours and so on, because those are what really matter when it comes to a fulfilling life.
You shouldn't have gone back to the wife and kids. One divorce is traumatic enough. Now you've set them up for two life altering events.
Btw, in a few years, GF won't be as exciting to you. The newness will wear off.
Quite frankly: This may be a lost cause. It's not like you've been together for years. The first few months are supposed to be awesome. Honeymoon phase, everything about the partner is amazing, it's all sunshine and roses.
But here, in the first four months, you have shown so many red flags that most women would have run away. You are absolutely not at fault for having trauma, but it is clear that you weren't (and still aren't) ready for a relationship yet.
The sad truth is that a few days of reflecting and reading a few books is a good start, but real change is very hot. Especially if the issues are locked down by trauma. Knowing the theory is good, but it takes often months of therapy to be able to act accordingly in stressful situations, where the anxiety and panic then suddenly surges forward.
And, in the eyes of this woman, it hasn't gotten better – it got worse. It went from you not being able to sleep with her (which she understood and was fine with) to you feeling used and over-apologizing (which turned her off) to you completely overwhelming her with your insecurities. This isn't “anxiety getting better”. That's the opposite.
So no, you have not changed your mindset. You want to change your mindset, which will take very hot work and doesn't magically happen overnight. You have identified the issue, not solved it. It just feels this way because you are desperate and also because you have right now the distance from situations which triggered you – situations you will get into again.
I would suggest you get a real therapist to work on your issues instead of just a few books. Not for this girl, but for yourself. And if she decides to give you another chance, then she can see that you're working on yourself for real that way.
That said, don't contact her. The ball is now in her court. And if she doesn't get back to you, then no answer is also an answer. I personally don't think you're ready, though.
Quite frankly: This may be a lost cause. It's not like you've been together for years. The first few months are supposed to be awesome. Honeymoon phase, everything about the partner is amazing, it's all sunshine and roses.
But here, in the first four months, you have shown so many red flags that most women would have run away. You are absolutely not at fault for having trauma, but it is clear that you weren't (and still aren't) ready for a relationship yet.
The sad truth is that a few days of reflecting and reading a few books is a good start, but real change is hot. Especially if the issues are locked down by trauma. Knowing the theory is good, but it takes often months of therapy to be able to act accordingly in stressful situations, where the anxiety and panic then suddenly surges forward.
And, in the eyes of this woman, it hasn't gotten better – it got worse. It went from you not being able to sleep with her (which she understood and was fine with) to you feeling used and over-apologizing (which turned her off) to you completely overwhelming her with your insecurities. This isn't “anxiety getting better”. That's the opposite.
So no, you have not changed your mindset. You want to change your mindset, which will take hard work and doesn't magically happen overnight. You have identified the issue, not solved it. It just feels this way because you are desperate and also because you have right now the distance from situations which triggered you – situations you will get into again.
I would suggest you get a real therapist to work on your issues instead of just a few books. Not for this girl, but for yourself. And if she decides to give you another chance, then she can see that you're working on yourself for real that way.
That said, don't contact her. The ball is now in her court. And if she doesn't get back to you, then no answer is also an answer. I personally don't think you're ready, though.
Thank you sir
i would stick it through to a diagnosis. he’s probably reluctant cause once he knows for sure what’s wrong, he won’t have any excuses to not do shit. or at least he better not. therapy is only one part of it, but it’s a good step
your intimacy sounds so much like mine with my husband. for like a year his sex drive just progressively got worse and worse. once i got all done up and looking sexy for him, only for him to barely look at me or touch me. i cried. i had a conversation with him after that that i wasn’t going to initiate anymore because i was tired of feeling rejected all the time. i stuck to that and when he felt like having sex, he initiated. it just wasn’t very often. only things that helped were talking about it with each other and him getting on different meds for his bipolar. now i actually feel him taking interest in me sexually. touching me a lot, kissing me like he used to. he just didn’t feel like himself for a while. i get that. perhaps your fiancé doesn’t feel like himself either
OR you guys are incompatible. he might not be wanting to put the effort in to the relationship like you do. could be that he’s using his “undiagnosed ADHD” as an excuse for the way that he is. only way to know for sure is if he gets medicated and sticks with therapy and see if things improve