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Date: October 11, 2022
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Exactly, thank you. I understand everything about his argument and I totally get why people this the dad is a dick or whatever, and police brutality blah blah, I get it.
But your boyfriend should've known to keep his mouth shut or side with your dad, but DEFINITELY have enough common sense to know that there's an plethora of psychological trauma, fear, social boundaries and norms that he knows nothing about. If you talk to a random cop – different story, fuck that. If you talk to someone you want to build a relationship with, you HAVE to be an idiot or intentionally malicious to say something like that.
And I honestly think, and that's my professional opinion, that your boyfriend is an idiot. Not the worst kind, but he's an idiot.
The good news is, that this is fixable. Your boyfriend can put himself in your dad's shoes, think about how that felt (disrespectful to start with), think about what opinion your dad might have formed of him as a future son in law (talking without thinking never comes off well, no being able to judge social situations is another non-starter), and then think of a sincere apology. Because what people really appreciate is when you're mature enough to own your mistakes. That's impressive.
If he can't do that, they're a lost cause.
Well, duh.
You are getting downvoted because reddit treats cheating in a very black and white way, but your comment is the most reasonable thing I've read here.
Cheating is terrible. I had a gf kiss another guy while we were together and ot hurt me a lot.
That being said, you can move past something like this, you don't have to throw everything away over one lapse of judgment (i.e. getting drunk to the point of not being all there).
OP, It's up to you whether you forgive her or not, and it's completely valid if you cant move past this, but please dont listen to comments saying stuff like “once a cheater always a cheater” and “this will for sure happen again”. That's a very immature way of looking at cheating.
“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” – Maya Angelou
Don’t ask if you can wear condoms, just start doing it.