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Date: October 11, 2022
Most of the posts are ridiculous. It’s pathetic that so many people can’t make a decision on their own and resort to asking strangers.
This is sexual assaults and sexual abuse as well as emotional and mental, I'm so sorry your in this position, the kindest hearts usually find themselves here. You are not alone, your sisters of abuse are with you in spirit to help you through the emotional pain of both this situation and your mother. I love you, we love you, you are loved and you deserve true love and respect of boundaries and a partner who lifts you up with respect not bring you down and hurt you.
Partly, I do those as well.
You guys are incompatible, you’ll both be better off in the long run if you end things now vs waiting a few more years. You’re only 24, there’s a guy out there who cares about you enjoying sex and will put his phone down when watching stuff with you.
I will say, should you decide to leave him, issues 1-3 are things you should squash with a new partner from the get go. My husband has issues remembering things and wasn’t always jumping at the opportunity to do chores. Early in our relationship we discussed what we both would handle and things have changed as we went on but anytime he was doing a shit job I didn’t just do it for him, I told him he was doing it wrong and to do it better next time. And you know what, he figured it out. Sometimes we end up doing it ourselves bc it’s easier in the moment and this shows the man that he can just complain until you do it for him. Stop falling for it.
Same with forgetting dates or being selfish with sex, stop letting them get away with it. Tell him to put your bday in his calendar, watch him do it. Remind him days/weeks in advance. Tell him you’re going to buy a vibrator bc he can’t make you cum. If you start dating a new guy, these are boundaries you need to set early on so you can avoid another situation like the one you’re in.
Oh yeah, go to Martinique or Guadeloupe, that way you're officially in France which is part of Europe!
(and they're absolutely wonderful places to go too)
Historic sexual abuse cases are really big at the moment on this side of the Atlantic and many are being taken seriously by investigators and courts.
A lot was buried in the 80s and never admitted or reported, not just familial abuse but also perpetrated by clergy (at the time the attitude was “this doesn’t happen in Holy Catholic Ireland”).
It could also be that they are getting tired of supporting him, and it is just being directed to you.
I agree therapy would be great for my mum but she'd never go. I am trying so hot to be compassionate towards her because it's completely not her fault and she's my mum, I love her! But I have to protect my baby. I think I'd have a little more patience with it if she was working on it. So while I have very little hope she'll agree I will suggest therapy.
you have said “no”, this is a complete sentence, remind him of the money he was loaned from his brother and ask his brother if his dad paid it back. If they want to sell the house, sell the house but sell it as is.
Tell your husband that he has children to feed, mortgage (rent), and car payments, and those come before his dad otherwise he can go live with his mom and dad giving them his entire paycheck while you fight for child support.
Thank you for your response
We are on the same page, she agrees I should experience it but we don't know how to achieve this.
Maybe! That’s a good idea that I have not thought about. We’re currently both taking a bit of time to mull over the situation and planning to have the big talk this week about plans. My mind is 80% leaning towards accepting the position as I don’t know the next time this is going to come along. I appreciate your perspective.
“We've known each other for 7 years and I'm not particularly visually impaired so I saw what she wears on a daily basis. Not that we're two years in, I want her to be more like %insert someone from a pretty picture%”.
So…asked and answered. If that’s not a sufficient reason for you then date someone else.
Busy doesn’t mean she can’t do whatever she wants in her free time. Maybe she has a friend in crisis that she’s chatting with. Maybe she just doesn’t have much to say during the day to you.
If you ask to look at her phone though, that’s nuts.
Awww. I’m so sorry. My heart goes out to you. Same thing happened to me. I raised my kid myself. Best thing they ever happened to me. His bio father is out of the picture completely. It all worked out. I hope it does for you too?. Pm if you need any more advice. I was your age too.
You can't abandon someone who you are enabling
If she doesn't have your support she will need to cope on her own
Yes. He didn't shit so it was time for him to get off the pot.
Go find a man who WILL shit.
wow i want to say this was a very insightful comment
we’ve been together a year and a half but have been talking for nearly three years ( I was very indecisive about settling down, recurring theme) and I do feel like I want to spend the rest of my life with her as of right now but i also don’t want to strip myself of saving up for our future.
unfortunately moving in with me isn’t much of an option as we live in an apartment and it’s cramped + they’re strict about overnight guests
Dude just break up with her already and work on your self esteem
You should get him snipped
He doesn’t get away with cheating because it was with a man.