Absolutely! I went into this knowing that I was wrong but I fully believe tough love is the best thing to hear in order to be able to grow and acknowledge your mistakes. My friends are biased obviously and I felt like I was getting nowhere. It’s not okay for me to continue thinking I wasn’t doing anything wrong or doing the worst thing ever when in reality I was and I did hurt someone. In my mind, cheating was only physical but now I’m learning that’s not always the case. Thank you very much again! Hope you have a nice holiday season
Clearly she was upset because you behaved like an a-hole, and doesn't want to be your friend for the same reason. And now, she doesn't react to your being on a date because why would she give a crap about a shitty person?
U sound like a girl who doesn’t understand male sexuality and will perpetually disappointed in life when u realize in 20 years that nearly all guys watch porn. U honestly think he has to fantasize about u every time he jerks off? Wake up
You must be a millennial, try living more and get outta office and the house for that matter. Dr. Spock popularized spankless homes. Doesn't matter what people try to argue about that was his deal. He swayed worse then a politician. He knew what he wrote was wrong but started getting kick back and said no I was misinterpreted. I lived through the era. Progressives loved him and he liked being loved. He even started using pronouns and pushing that movement. When you bring up statistical studies broad questions are asked and here's a shock parents lie. What reason fear of loss, the great myth that cps will take your children away like a thief in the night. Doesn't happen that way but okay believe what you want. Beating a child and disciplining a child look very different. Funny how you cite the WHO which as of late has become very politicized, the new head is a Chinese backed stooge, they've gotten more wrong lately then right. Eastern culture which has a heavier hand with discipline doesn't have the issues we have with relation to psychological disorders. We are creating our own demons. Sadly it's my belief that it starts by not disciplining your children, setting boundaries, and yes spanking your children is necessary to prevent this. Two parent household are better for children having a strong male and female voice in the child's life make a difference. And if you don't feel up to the task, then maybe don't have kids. And don't get involved with people who have them or want them.
That's fine. I don't think it's crazy to say that men would be turned off by that either even if I personally disagree with their line of logic.
If they have a conversation and she says she actually is open to an open relationship and if OP thinks that even the fact that's she's open minded is a naked no, that's his choice ultimately and I don't see an issue regardless of what they decide to do. They can both break up and find people they are more aligned with.
The main thing I disagree with is automatically assuming from one offhand comment while watching a fictional t.v show is how she feels and no discussion needs to be had with her. She may not have meant it how OP is assuming she meant it, because at this point it is an assumption unless OP is a mind reader or already had the conversation with her.
It was one comment, that she answered when he asked her and there may not have been any real thought behind it. A discussion needs to be had to even determine this. Regardless of my feelings or thoughts on anything else, this is my main driving point in every comment.
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You know now that I think about it, my gf often talks about other guys with her friends even when I'm around. This is not to excuse my behavior, but should I address that to her at some point or just chalk it up to “girl talk”?
When I need reassurance, I offer my boyfriend what I need to hear “I love you baby” “You're so beautiful baby” etc and he reciprocates “I love you too babe” “Awww thanks babe, you're so fucking beautiful too” etc he gets to feel good and I get to hear what I need to in a much more genuine way.
Talk to him about your issues in general and tell him what you need from him to feel safe and happy in your relationship. Either he can offer it to you or he can't and you need to end the relationship.
Im in a warehouse department where its honestly people probably 40yo and up through 70s or early 20s. Im stuck in the middle and wouldn't really want to be friends with a 20yo but the similarities we have is why I still talk to her. Theres two people there currently who are older 20s but they do different jobs so I don't see them as often but I do enjoy talking to them more.
I 100% agree with your argument about what she should have done, but unfortunately you can’t base your argument on promises made at the beginning of your relationship.
Every person in every relationship promises they’ll never lie or cheat. Unfortunately, sometimes it happens. So if we’re assuming she’s lying (which I know I am, and I think you are), while you have absolutely every right to be upset about it, like I said before it’s essentially a waste of your time to harp on it because it won’t change anything. “You lied to me, but we promised each other we’d never lie.” Ok? You “won” the argument I suppose, but the relationship is still over. That’s the point I’m trying to drive home here.
I now really feel the need to disclose that I’m a guy and I’m happily married. I love love and wish you nothing but the absolute best. I tell you this, because as I was writing the above it felt like I was coming off as a bitter man who assumes the worst of every woman (or to keep it general, every partner).
That’s absolutely not the case. Trust is essential in a healthy relationship. If you can’t or don’t trust your partner, what’s the point? I trust my wife entirely and her the same. I just want to make it clear that I wasn’t saying that everyone lies or cheats. I’m certain that’s not the case.
What I’m saying is that just because you’ve been promised it wouldn’t happen, doesn’t make it happening an even bigger deal. Not lying and cheating are baseline expectations of every relationship. They’re huge issues when they happen always. What I’m trying to emphasize here is that if it does happen, it makes no sense (especially after a break up) to think arguing something like “you lied when you promised you wouldn’t” is going to change or fix anything. It’s over.
If you have proof saved of everything that transpired that could be used in a lawsuit, you can sue for a chunk of change and use the lawsuit as a way to clear your name.
Its great that you find him attractive but unless he's 6'5 and up 200 lbs is over weight and he's right about his comments. Ease him into a diet, go on walks and hikes with him etc.
It’s clear he won’t be an involved father, so really, your choices are to get an abortion and stay with him, get an abortion and ditch him, or ditch him and be a single mother of two at 23.
Regardless, you also need to get on a better form of birth control than natural family planning and the pullout method. Both (highly ineffective) methods have clearly failed you more than once. Time to learn about the pill and condoms – he clearly doesn’t know as much about the reproductive system as he’s led you to believe.
i agree with you. this is not a compliment and its sad how normal this is. sorry youre getting downvoted
Absolutely! I went into this knowing that I was wrong but I fully believe tough love is the best thing to hear in order to be able to grow and acknowledge your mistakes. My friends are biased obviously and I felt like I was getting nowhere. It’s not okay for me to continue thinking I wasn’t doing anything wrong or doing the worst thing ever when in reality I was and I did hurt someone. In my mind, cheating was only physical but now I’m learning that’s not always the case. Thank you very much again! Hope you have a nice holiday season
Honey, that is coercion and it is rape.
Why are you with someone who doesn’t care that he hurts you?
Clearly she was upset because you behaved like an a-hole, and doesn't want to be your friend for the same reason. And now, she doesn't react to your being on a date because why would she give a crap about a shitty person?
U sound like a girl who doesn’t understand male sexuality and will perpetually disappointed in life when u realize in 20 years that nearly all guys watch porn. U honestly think he has to fantasize about u every time he jerks off? Wake up
You must be a millennial, try living more and get outta office and the house for that matter. Dr. Spock popularized spankless homes. Doesn't matter what people try to argue about that was his deal. He swayed worse then a politician. He knew what he wrote was wrong but started getting kick back and said no I was misinterpreted. I lived through the era. Progressives loved him and he liked being loved. He even started using pronouns and pushing that movement. When you bring up statistical studies broad questions are asked and here's a shock parents lie. What reason fear of loss, the great myth that cps will take your children away like a thief in the night. Doesn't happen that way but okay believe what you want. Beating a child and disciplining a child look very different. Funny how you cite the WHO which as of late has become very politicized, the new head is a Chinese backed stooge, they've gotten more wrong lately then right. Eastern culture which has a heavier hand with discipline doesn't have the issues we have with relation to psychological disorders. We are creating our own demons. Sadly it's my belief that it starts by not disciplining your children, setting boundaries, and yes spanking your children is necessary to prevent this. Two parent household are better for children having a strong male and female voice in the child's life make a difference. And if you don't feel up to the task, then maybe don't have kids. And don't get involved with people who have them or want them.
How old are you please?
I agree. He was right to throw her out – now he needs therapy. The child is innocent.
That's fine. I don't think it's crazy to say that men would be turned off by that either even if I personally disagree with their line of logic.
If they have a conversation and she says she actually is open to an open relationship and if OP thinks that even the fact that's she's open minded is a naked no, that's his choice ultimately and I don't see an issue regardless of what they decide to do. They can both break up and find people they are more aligned with.
The main thing I disagree with is automatically assuming from one offhand comment while watching a fictional t.v show is how she feels and no discussion needs to be had with her. She may not have meant it how OP is assuming she meant it, because at this point it is an assumption unless OP is a mind reader or already had the conversation with her.
It was one comment, that she answered when he asked her and there may not have been any real thought behind it. A discussion needs to be had to even determine this. Regardless of my feelings or thoughts on anything else, this is my main driving point in every comment.
Have the discussion, don't just assume.
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What do you even do in this situation?
That's bait..
This woman thrives on being wanted and enjoys rejecting and tormenting people.
I wouldn't touch her with a 10ft pole.
You know now that I think about it, my gf often talks about other guys with her friends even when I'm around. This is not to excuse my behavior, but should I address that to her at some point or just chalk it up to “girl talk”?
When I need reassurance, I offer my boyfriend what I need to hear “I love you baby” “You're so beautiful baby” etc and he reciprocates “I love you too babe” “Awww thanks babe, you're so fucking beautiful too” etc he gets to feel good and I get to hear what I need to in a much more genuine way.
Talk to him about your issues in general and tell him what you need from him to feel safe and happy in your relationship. Either he can offer it to you or he can't and you need to end the relationship.
I’d keep underwear too if it was comfy for sleeping.
I wonder if she just leaves him in the car when they're banging and otherwise they appear platonically in front of him
Im in a warehouse department where its honestly people probably 40yo and up through 70s or early 20s. Im stuck in the middle and wouldn't really want to be friends with a 20yo but the similarities we have is why I still talk to her. Theres two people there currently who are older 20s but they do different jobs so I don't see them as often but I do enjoy talking to them more.
It sounds like they tried to hide it from their kid because maybe they knew he’d handle it like this?
He caught his mother in public with another guy in an obviously intimate situation.
They weren't hiding it.
Unfortunately I've met plenty of feminists and they all act like her. The idea of feminism and what it actually are two separate things.
No. Never be alone with him again.
Give the tag to the police. This guy could be very dangerous when confronted!
I 100% agree with your argument about what she should have done, but unfortunately you can’t base your argument on promises made at the beginning of your relationship.
Every person in every relationship promises they’ll never lie or cheat. Unfortunately, sometimes it happens. So if we’re assuming she’s lying (which I know I am, and I think you are), while you have absolutely every right to be upset about it, like I said before it’s essentially a waste of your time to harp on it because it won’t change anything. “You lied to me, but we promised each other we’d never lie.” Ok? You “won” the argument I suppose, but the relationship is still over. That’s the point I’m trying to drive home here.
I now really feel the need to disclose that I’m a guy and I’m happily married. I love love and wish you nothing but the absolute best. I tell you this, because as I was writing the above it felt like I was coming off as a bitter man who assumes the worst of every woman (or to keep it general, every partner).
That’s absolutely not the case. Trust is essential in a healthy relationship. If you can’t or don’t trust your partner, what’s the point? I trust my wife entirely and her the same. I just want to make it clear that I wasn’t saying that everyone lies or cheats. I’m certain that’s not the case.
What I’m saying is that just because you’ve been promised it wouldn’t happen, doesn’t make it happening an even bigger deal. Not lying and cheating are baseline expectations of every relationship. They’re huge issues when they happen always. What I’m trying to emphasize here is that if it does happen, it makes no sense (especially after a break up) to think arguing something like “you lied when you promised you wouldn’t” is going to change or fix anything. It’s over.
I didn’t say unhinged. I said out of control. Which she was.
If you have proof saved of everything that transpired that could be used in a lawsuit, you can sue for a chunk of change and use the lawsuit as a way to clear your name.
Its great that you find him attractive but unless he's 6'5 and up 200 lbs is over weight and he's right about his comments. Ease him into a diet, go on walks and hikes with him etc.
She is emotionally abusive.
It’s clear he won’t be an involved father, so really, your choices are to get an abortion and stay with him, get an abortion and ditch him, or ditch him and be a single mother of two at 23.
Regardless, you also need to get on a better form of birth control than natural family planning and the pullout method. Both (highly ineffective) methods have clearly failed you more than once. Time to learn about the pill and condoms – he clearly doesn’t know as much about the reproductive system as he’s led you to believe.
Did you say that the only thing you weren't happy about was his misogynistic attitude?