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kathrysweet Public Chat Channel
Date: October 7, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
kathrysweet Public Chat Channel
OP, look at your post history, my god.
Yeah it is very hot because in other areas she’s showing a lot of improvement. So she is back to working full time, is more social and spends less time on bed etc but this is just the one thing that doesn’t seem to be getting better
this. Hope the poor girl escapes all this toxic before it's too late. Imagine dictating what your partner wears and the pictures she posts but you're completely fine violating her boundaries by watching porn. Ridiculous.
This hurt to read cause I know there's truth to it…
There is no salvaging this, and I cannot fathom a single reason why you would want to. Let her live our her weird live! role playing fantasy. You’re young…do whatever you can to keep the house in your name and start hitting the gym.
A 20 something fit dude who owns his own home…you’ll do just fine.
Why are you even with this guy? From some other comments you made he sounds like a giant red flag that should make you run for the hills.
Break up and have your own college experience. Never look back.
She constantly posts about this guy and the same issues, she had a similar post a few days ago. Not sure if it’s trolling, karma collecting or what but it’s consistent and she doesn’t want to listen to advice.
The thing is, shes 5’2 and 115lbs. I’m 6ft 190lbs. M’y arm hurt a bit but I’m not dying. I like to think she knew it wouldn’t actually hurt me given our size difference. It was just a series of smacks to the same spot on my arm.
Next time she grabs a wooden spoon.
Then a water bottle.
Then a beer bottle.
To stay in soccer terms, you shot yourself two own goals:
First when you messaged the other guy. When you think someone is unfaithful do not turn around and start texting other guys to distract you. I do not have an exact enough discribtion of your contact with the other guy to tell 100%, but your ex pretty much took it as evidence for an emotional affaire (which can be exactly what happened – like I said too little details to say that 100%) You gave him a perfect opportinity to turn the argument and paint you in a horrible light.
The Second was when you took him back while he gave you something that is almost a confession he will continue to sleep around, while wanting you as a safetynet. Stop letting yourself being used by this prick and rip of the bandaid (Leave!)
Really? Because she sounds really fugly
So you were ready to become a mistress, the other woman, a homewrecker, the side chick if he didnt say no?
That’s the hot thing I’m accepting.. I don’t think he ever meant to be emotionally abusive or gaslight me. I think we have two very different ways in viewing relationships and the moment I tried to take a step back and try to be independent again (to be interdependent) he couldn’t even go a whole day without texting each other because it’s a sign of “respect” when I just wanted one day to myself. I know some people would be so happy with a partner like him who wants/needs daily communication but I just couldn’t dismiss my needs anymore.
So I took the initiative of asking her for more info ( as I hate to sound manipulative), she indicated the whole essence of this act is to fight addictions, and she is addictive to food and intimacy. I should also indicate that we are meant to meet today, after not meeting for 2 weeks. I am not bothered by the desire not to have sex, but she only informed me on Wednesday.
Oh yeah that thing, I remember that thing.
She says she loves me but was confused and felt unloved and pushed away from me.
She felt unloved from you so instead of communicating it with you, she chose to find that love elsewhere.
They both agreed to tell their significant others to try and better their relationships.
Are you sure that's exactly what happened? I mean, it could be possible that the AP's wife or someone else has find out so they decided to come clean with a mutual story to justify their closeness and not big enough that can ruin their jobs and lives. I mean, there are a lot of stories where confession is made to control the narrative.
Don't believe a word unless she can prove what she is saying is true then reach out to the other betrayed spouse and cross check with them.
To be honest I would recommend you to leave as even after 6 years of being in a relationship she ran to some other guy instead of talking to you, there is nothing that can change magically.
Bro shut the fuck up
NTA. It’s not even your baby. And you didn’t even want kids. For the sake of your own happiness, you should leave. She has made her bed and now needs to lie in it. Hopefully the child’s actual father steps up for them.
Save yourself the drama, it would appear on the surface he doesn't trust you. Trust is the basis for a successful relationship.
Get help
Get help? I mean cmon now its not a medical condition and I havent done anything or planning to
How do you know he hasn't? Is he bringing it up constantly to bitch about it? How is this still an ongoing problem?
she didn't do anything wrong. They weren't in a relationship, they kissed ONCE.
I always hate the ones who say they want to try being with the same sex before they regret it. It just sounds like the dumbest excuse to just cheat without you breaking up with them. If my girlfriend said she wanted to try being with a girl then I would just break up with her right then and there. Also don't like being with bisexual girls, that's a story for another time. But honestly, does she really think you will be okay with it? Her. Having sex with another girl. While still being in a relationship with you? That's just so fucking dumb and stupid.
My advice for you, get out while you can. Don't give into her need to fuck someone else who isn't you. I'm 19 and know better than this won't work out well and you will have to live the rest of your life with her, knowing she fucked someone else. Even if you agreed to it, it is still cheating and it isn't love if she loves you.
An ethical mental health professional wouldn't be on ~empath~ subreddits, and you'd know the risk of internet bias. You wouldn't be live suggesting that people are narcissists. If you are a mental health professional, which I do not believe you are, you should know that you're presenting this in a biased and manipulative way. A real decent mental health professional would consider the alternate perspective and that you were very rude to your obviously sleep-deprived, overstimulated partner.
No one is saying you don't cook and clean. I said that she was doing something that benefits both of you and you were unappreciative of the effort to balance. She didn't have an attitude about putting on Ms. Rachel, she had an attitude about you being incredibly rude by ignoring that she was speaking to you. Do you often ignore her when she's trying to talk to you?
You're blaming “emotional regression” instead of accepting you were simply being nasty. That's not how you hold yourself accountable. If you don't want to be in this relationship then don't be in it, but you work very hard to be insufferable.
Exactly…… and this is why this thread will just turn into an echo chamber for OP and the reason all the others won't come out is because of the neg pile coming their way
OP is a woman who thinks like a modern woman , however if she speaks to guys and gets a male perspective its going to be vastly different.
Most guys in a relationship do not want other dicks around their women , like it or hate it that is how they think , you can claim insecurity or double standard or whatever but this is how they think
Most guys who fantasize about threesomes want MFF , no other dicks no problem
The fact you have done a MFM in the past whether it was in a relationship or as a single lady signals to him that you are ok with it , maybe even still desire it and that makes the two of you Incompatable
I would leave this guy and find someone who is on the same page as you so this sort of drama doesn't inhibit how you live your life.
It's not even an honorable fairytale. When people try to “save” others, they are often trying to rehabilitate them into a version that meets their wants and needs, even if not all of those changes are objective improvements — just matters of taste.
It's essentially taking someone they see as too vulnerable to care for themselves and grooming them to have their new identity and sense of safety rooted in the rescuer, so they will never leave. Whether or not this ends up being effective is totally irrelevant (well, not to the person being groomed, but in evaluating the person doing it).
She's a trainwreck endangering her kid, sure. But if it weren't for this conspiracy stuff, he was the person taking advantage of her desperation and being the other necessary piece of the puzzle to mess up the kid's life — if not from endangerment directly, then from uprooting her and having her form an attachment to someone who probably won't be in her life that long. Oh, and moving them both somewhere where they'd be isolated from everyone else they know. Will she probably end up in another crappy situation? Sure, but hopefully at least not with someone who can exert financial control or utilize isolation so she can leave if it's bad.
Despite writing this much, I still feel I've only expressed a fraction of my disgust for this type of person. I have always had very little patience for the “COVID isn't real” crowd, but this is the first documented instance I've seen of that ideology actually benefiting someone. I hope she achieves higher alignment and harmony with reality on multiple levels from here on out, for her benefit and her child's. But for now, bullet = dodged.
That's what OP was asking, right? If this woman dodged a bullet?
Just block him and never see him again. You don’t need his permission to break up with him and at this point a proper break up is just a curtsy he’s not worthy of.
That’s illegal. Report her.
Reassurance and open lines of communication. I'm in a LDR currently due to extenuating military obligations and we have our bumps, including someone actively trying to break us up over the last year. Everytime we need reassurance and just talking. This last time the person trying to break us up (I havent figured out who it is yet), got us into a short argument. Once we both realized what was happening, we realized we both just needed reassurance at the time and to communicate with each other more.
Look, she sounds child-free, that 10-20% is nice to think about once in a while but it’s still a no. Say she decides she wants to, she can take the IUD out and be fertile again overnight. But maybe get real instead of hanging onto that hope. If you love kids so much there are plenty out there who need a big brother role model, sports coaches etc. you don’t have to not enjoy being an adult who raises kids. If you immediately react by thinking ‘yeah but they aren’t MY kids’ …you’re very right, you’ll be surrounded by kids who are not your kid at all times, do you like kids or just the thought of it? If you genuinely like them, nothing is holding you back from stepping into these very important community roles
Yes! That's exactly what we are, roommates. Thank you for your comment, it's good to hear I am not alone in this situation.
Why isn’t all of that, very different perspective in your OP?
Messaging can be a great way to communicate with a partner. I'm an overly emotional person I cry when I'm happy, sad, angry, I just cry at serious situations. I find talking through text where we can say what we mean without the emotion getting in the way is so much easier for me and my parner of 12 years, works for some people..
Women don't get tested for HPV as well. A pap smear just tests for concerning cells on the cervix.
Hah. Theres a few famous posts about food being referenced here. One about a yogurt collector, a spouse who insisted his wife eat mustard and my apparently unwelcome contribution of a partner who refused to understand that there are multiple types of rice and mixed all of the rice in the house together.
Long distance can challenge people but I just don't like the run around youre getting. She sounds completely off and uncooperative.
You don't want to be stuck in this loop of second guessing and wondering if everything is going to be ok. You're worth more than a blind sided breakup and a limp attempt and discussing or fixing it.
Just remember your worth going into this.. If you crawl to get them back sometimes they just want to see you crawl.
How long ago did you send this?
True friendships between a man and a woman is not possible!!!
She's found someone and is either already cheating or is planning on it if OP says no.
This relationship is dead and she killed it.
but the reality of her choices financially will alter the course of my life in such a profound way that all I can see is resentment in the end.
This is sad, but true. It will hurt now, but save so much pain.
That’s theft. Dealbreaker for me, I don’t know how you run your relationships. Totally broken trust.
Does your opinion change after reading my edit? Thanks for the feedback