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Room for live! sex video chat KajiraxXx
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Date: November 6, 2022
This sounds really manipulative on his part. He isn't fulfilling your need for reassurance, then tells you that his inability to fulfill your needs is your fault?
He literally told you he does not consider you relationship material. He has no intentions of ever committing to you.
Trust me, I was in this exact same relationship for almost two years. It never got better. I kept going back until I finally had been hurt enough times to lose feelings. Don't be me, leave now and save yourself a lot of pain and trouble
Your better than that sis. Let that man go. He doesn't respect you.
I've received way more Christmas cards than Hanukkah cards and I'm sure your supervisor has too. I'm sure he'll appreciate the handmade quality.
I always appreciate someone taking the time to give me a Hanukkah card because it shows they gave our relationship a bit of thought. That said, it sounds like there was no reasonable way for you to know his religion (why would you at work?), so giving a nice Christmas card is still a sweet things to do.
“He does it to dismiss me” means yea, he is doing it to be nasty.
This dude is playing with you. If you’re looking for a f*ck buddy for no-strings sex, you found it, but if your looking for a loving relationship you’re barking up the wrong tree.
If this is your best relationship I feel really really sad for you because his actions and actual words show he doesn’t care about you at all. Even fuck buddy worth your time should still be nice to you.
Having to ask permission to show affection. At that point the spark made you want to do it is gone.
I don't know though. I love him so much
I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe start a new post on here – the other redditors will be able to support.
We have lived together briefly (a few months) prior to wanting to buy a house.
Honestly that sounds like the most logical choice, it does feel like I am rushing into this headlong. But I've always tried my best in my relationships and entered them with a mind to commit and a future together.
Unfortunately it's the age old issue of too much demand and no supply (when it comes to renting)
Op I’m just telling you rn if you open this relationship 1 of 2 things will happen. 1. She goes along with it and she ends up getting with more guys than you get with girls 2. She dumps you for even asking. If you want that then just be single don’t put this girl through this bc you want to live! your teenage years. Just live them single
You’re a fool for forgiving her. I want you to remember that, when she cheats again. Because you’ve already set the precedent that you’ll continue to forgive her for cheating. It doesn’t matter what advice you’re given, you’ll just go back and forgive her. Have fun always looking over your shoulder.
If he doesn't get you off before the PIV then there's no PIV or finishing with your body for him, he can use his hand. You probably want to phrase that better for him in a serious conversation. If this is a good relationship in all other aspects I sincerely hope you two can work this out.
There isn’t a better option. You need to respect yourself before others will respect you. That means setting boundaries with yo he self. Someone disrespects you in a relationship leave don’t change your standards of treatment for someone else.
If he is comfortable with disrespecting you now and you are willing to let it slide by remaining with him then don’t expect his behavior to change. The first two months were likely the honeymoon period and you are getting a look at what he is really like.
…are you religious or something? This all sounds wacky to me.
You're still young. You can find someone better who better aligns with your beliefs and values.
I meean, did she? That sounds really convenient.
actually i confessed to her w now its even more complicated
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I mean 5 inches is below average so if you want to be technical, you are small..
But commenting on it is outa pocket for sure.
Here is his text a week after the “date”, apparently he kept my number even though he blocked me on IG and I blocked him back and deleted all his original texts
Wow, so toxic. Cut your losses and move on.
Your husband sucks and he’s not the one who should be upset about his gift.
He didn’t even get you anything. You got yourself a record player.
If she was doing it line 'bf and I made this for you!'… ok thats fine. Maybe 1-3 times in a 6month period. But tbh it will start a fight if you tell her. I'd just politely ask her not to take your alls food over for them. Because they don't appreciate you and you don't feel comfortable giving them your alls stuff
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Lol she had YOU apologizing!
Been there brother.
Get a month to month lease written up. Make her pay rent along with her needing to do chores. I’m certain she will either not move in or not stay too long.
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I love my kids so much that's the thing, I come from a broken home and it messed me up and I just can't stand the thought of repeating that cycle. There has to be some way
OK, thanks. That explains a lot. It makes sense for most 18-year-olds not to want to be in a LDR.
She isn't your girlfriend.
She is the one who is supposed to get out. You should be the one figuring out if you still want to stay married to her, you shouldnt btw.
She is using you and it’s a comfortable life for her. She’s happy to have a roommate to help share the bills and help her family, instead of breaking up, be the “bad guy” and have to live! with someone she doesn’t know.
Time to move on…
You can part on good terms now, and both of you go enjoy college, or you can wait until you resent each other or he cheats on you.
There's nothing wrong with breaking up. Almost every relationship ends in a breakup. It isn't something to be ashamed of. It isn't a waste. Just move on. You're starting college and you have nothing but opportunity in front of you.
Now that’s some good advice ! Thanks
Actions have consequences. Speaking ill of their mother is an action.
Your boyfriend is building equity on your dime. He's able to afford that home because of you. He is able to build that house because he is using you as a maid.
You are losing out here. You have no security as a tenant or renter here.
Some things in your story remind me of my past, but obviously there are differences.
I was dating a girl that was about 150lbs when I first met her. She wasn't skinny, but not dangerously overweight. It didn't matter to me that she wasn't skinny. Over the course of our dating her mom would often say things to her and about her that would make her cry, often about her weight. I don't know how many times I was on the couch with her as she cried. I remember one time that I picked her up from her parents' house(she lived with them) for some time away and she told me that her mother told her that I was only dating her until I found somebody skinnier. This made me mad for both our sakes, tbh.
Over time, and due to stress between of her relationship with her mom and me and her parents not getting along(I was upset that the mother would commonly say things to upset her) my gf began to gain weight due to stress-eating. She gained about 30 more pounds.
Her mother would blame me for my gf gaining weight, even though I thought that was unfair because of her actions. Long story short, we eventually broke up.
Looking back on it, I think somewhere deep down the mother was actually trying to look out for my girlfriend because she really loves and cares for her, but she just chose very detrimental ways to go about it.
For you and your mother, I would like to believe that somewhere deep down your mother is the same way. I do think your mother might have an underlining mental condition that she might need to evaluated by a doctor. Bi-polar, perhaps?
I would suggest don't go cold-turkey right off the bat, but rather just go low contact for a time and take it from there. Explain these things to your father and your mother and why it's being done and your desire for her to see a doctor.
Not who you replied to, but someone who could let out their emotions, be open about past trauma, and be vulnerable in front of a partner are generally seen as good things in a relationship
Sounds like you were holding out for more than friends and are now sad and jealous that she's with someone who isn't you.
Ok so I'm guessing this is a hill you're willing to die on. If that's the case, I suggest you let your GF know what it is that you actually need from her in order to feel as though she's carrying her weight. And that she has gotten heavy and needs to start, because you're not willing to hurt yourself carrying her through life when she's perfectly capable of carrying herself, metaphorically speaking. What I'm seeing from you is a list of things that she doesn't do, and while that's a great place for you to start in your own head, if you're trying to communicate with your partner, it's a pretty shitty point A. I suggest instead that you reframe it into a list of requests, or even better, needs you have that you'd really like her to help you meet. I statements vs you statements. Here's a few examples.
Instead of “you don't pay for anything”, try “I feel like I'm drowning financially trying to carry us both and I need you to contribute more to the relationship in that department”.
Instead of “you don't cook or clean”, try “I've been feeling overwhelmed by cooking and cleaning and working. I need you to step up and make meals at least X times a week and I need you to reliably do XYZ household tasks.”
However, at the end of the day, you can't force her to adult. You CAN refuse to have a partner who won't act like one, though lll. And if you wanted to feel like you'd “done everything you can do”, you can let her know that you're getting ready to pull that trigger on that decision without consistent measurable change from her. And you can communicate that as kindly and honestly as possible.
You may already be ready to walk, and that's totally understandable. I just wanted to offer you an option for a hail Mary that very possibly won't work anyway. Especially if you've already talked about these issues and it's been years without change.
Definitely
Well. When you and your mom start screwing I guess her opinion matters.
But also. Bodily autonomy. Your choice. And she can choose to leave you. Her choice.
Talk to her. And pro tip? Don't mention your mom's opinion.
Therapy is definitely a good idea. Sounds like he is acting out and you don't know how to get through to him.
Fwiw I didn’t downvote you BUT you say that you were finally happy. You were happy with a person who doesn’t exist. You THOUGHT everything was ok however he was constantly and consistently lying to you about significant things.
The person you were happy with isn’t the person who stands before you today.
The person you are with is a lying, manipulative, alcohol and gambling addict who threw your future away with his inaction.
Also I will say as someone who was scared to leave a financially and emotionally abusive partner who was scared to leave because I thought I would be destitute without him. I had soooo much more money than I did before. I could even buy myself things and frequent treats and coffees and still pay my bills. Maybe you need to take a long naked look at everything and see where your money is actually going.
Then shut the fuck up complaining.
What aren't you getting? You're actively taking money off your dad yet moaning like a little bitch he won't let you go on vacation.
Move out, pay your own college then you can go wherever you want. That's the point.
Probably not be dumb and end it. LDR is already hot enough when she's not cheating emotionally. Now every second your not with her your gonna be thinking in the back of your head “is she cheating, is she messaging him, sending him nudes?”. The correct move is to move on and date woman you can actually see daily.
We need to upvote this asap
This is not an unforgivable offense. It is not worth losing a family member over. He took away your moment. It won't affect your life or your babies. Don't trust him with information you don't want shared again. I can understand feeling cheated. I wouldn't end a relationship over it.
Im 32 l lost my wife/bestfriend once to selfish desires such as this don’t be a fool and realize what you have till it’s gone.. sometimes u need to show you can go without to get more. Be selfless put her first and if then that Doest work bounce bale but ur 23
You’re projecting, nothing from the post suggests that. She literally came forward to him with the info about the abortion. Why would she do that if she’s afraid and he’s an abuser? She was hiding it because she knew he wanted kids and she didn’t. It’s hilarious seeing you in the comments repeatedly trying to justify this by making up stuff out of thin air
I’ve done this before meaning well as well. For me, it’s trying to tell him you’re amazing and I’m not just saying you’re the best of the best so you know I’m not lying. Even if in reality you are #1 I feel like saying you’re #2 is more believable. Because otherwise it feels like we’re just schmoozing, you now? I think there was nothing but good intentions here but you can definitely bring it up that you felt kind of icky about it at all. Boundaries are important!
Oh, so he was just using you as a place to dump his shame for violating his religious beliefs. Honestly not surprised. My super religious ex treated me the same way. Had a ton of shame about sex, even within marriage, and instead of handling it like an adult, he just shoved it all on me. Didn't want to deal with it. I was a convenient scapegoat.
Your wife is fantasizing a bit too much, I guess.
Chances of things going wrong are very, very high. What’s wrong with her?!
Even if we assume the guy is totally legit, you have to be very naive to believe he will tell the truth if something nasty happens to your wife when she gets into the woods…
So many tragic stories out there of people being reported missing… and your wife is offering herself to put in that position… I feel you dude. You are a fantastic husband.
I understand. You need to know that some women prefer a man who can provide and protect them. Also at 27, she is at the age where her friends are having children, and her family may be hoping for the same. Her future is uncertain in a long distance relationship with no clear plans for the future. Realistically you should be preparing yourself emotionally and mentally for her to break up with you and find someone to meet those needs. I'm not trying to be mean or disrespectful. I just want you to have an objective opinion.
Thanks!
Of course!!:)
I'm not really sure how you can feel less like a booty call. I mean, you agreed that you didn't want to be in a relationship, and he only contacts you when he wants to have sex, so you are a booty call. I guess you could try to tell yourself that you are Friends With Benefits, but it doesn't really seem like you are even friends.
And, BTW, he is totally having unprotected sex with any other women he has sex with, so you should get tested.
Is that other person out of the picture? Either way, what does he want?
If he doesn't want a relationship, then you're simply wasting your time. He's not doing anything wrong.
Oh and he isnt ready to stop talking to this other woman at work. Not without telning her why they cant speak. And its just two weeks left.
But still he never wanted to hurt me and loves me and wants to be in my life and im the best person he’s ever met etc etc.
I dont know anything but I know I feel anger. I feel.. honestly i have not been able to feel anything but pain since this. In my stomach and its unbearble. Just want to feel anything but this.
… Do you not ask follow up questions?
“You need to stop doing this.” “Doing what?” “This!” “Asking why you're hiding your gf from the rest of your life? Is that the 'this' you're referring to? It sounds like a reasonable question given we're supposedly dating.”
“You behave unpredictably!” “Provide an example of what unpredictable behavior I display that is so concerning that you're keeping me a secret. And then I can provide examples of the way you act shady.”
“If you're not willing to admit you have a gf and that I'm her to people that are active participants in your life… Why are we dating? Why exactly should I stay in this relationship?”
Or, the stress free, low drama route. Especially convenient since you shouldn't have any personal belongings you need to recover from his place and sure as heck shouldn't have any comingled expenses given the circumstances: “Lose my number.” and block.
i can’t believe some of the stuff i read on here
Let's just leave it there.
She sounds exhausting. Like one of those people who like to put others down to make themselves look good. What’s the point of being with her if you’re not happy?
I would clearly break up with him over it!!! I was never his first choice and he didn't respect me. So no it doesn't matter that it was in the past I would break up with him!!!!
To be blunt, waiting three years before deciding to have children may be deciding not to have children at all. If you are comfortable with that, fine. If you are not, you should leave.
Didn’t she fuck her boss at that hotel? Or what happened with that? You got your closure if it’s true. So what’s the problem?
This is an abusive relationship with little or no trust and no respect for each other’s privacy. Other than that, it’s a match made in heaven. Or, more likely, tinder.
I'd suggest trying to take a break before completely breaking it off.
Well, it'll be good to have money and a job lined up first.
Other than that, you're a quarter century old. They can't tell you what to do.
Gah. This is a lot to handle, and it’s unfortunate that your mom says everything that comes into her head. Your future in-laws will not care (at all) that your children are conceived via IVF. That’s just bonkers. Conception is a private thing. Do you think they would care (or want to know) if your kids were conceived with you on top or if their son was entering from behind? Come on.
I’m not sure why your mom has a bee in her bonnet about this, but she’s wrong. Ignore her negativity & focus on the positives. You can have kids without passing on the BRCA gene, and you will have perky tits for life. So, no more tears & think about your ideal cup size instead.
Your first move to be to shit all over that plan by calling her and telling her what you read and that you are flying out there tonight.
She certainly has a lot of attention seeking behaviours. Big social media following. Always wants to get her lips filled, breasts done. I want to attribute her actions to that and just seeking a thrill
Agree with this. I’d want to know from the start of someone is religious because that might be a dealbreaker for me if they expected me to participate. Kind of like kids/no kids.
I think using dating apps makes it easier because you can put all of that on your profile. But even then to be fair, in my experience a lot of men don’t bother to read the profiles and just look at the photos.