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K, 99 y.o.
Location: South America
Room subject: Ksensational, ‘s room
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Date: October 26, 2022
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BYE i didnt even see the 7 years part. OP noooooo??
Awww your gf sounds adorable. My people…
Anyway. You didn't want to cuddle all the time so she found a solution. Now you're jealous of the solution. Do you see how in both these scenarios, you're trying to drive the cuddle-o-meter? Do you perhaps see how that might not be like…the nicest most considerate thing to do to your partner?
Cuddle her with the plushie. If it's small you can all cuddle together. If we can do it with my giant orca, a little panda, a seal (all stuffies), and a cat (alive and climbing on us) then so can you. Enhanced cuddles.
Bro we all have insecurities, forcing them on other people is where it becomes a problem and that’s what you’re doing. You need to consider that maybe you’re creating a problem where there isn’t one. He’s not doing anything wrong by asking for equal treatment in a rule YOU set for him. Talk to your boyfriend and either revoke the rule or accept his terms. I promise you that’s the only way your relationship will grow to be healthy.
What does a guy do that's only a year older than you to make that kinda money to pay your college. If it's your mom wouldn't she shady have that saved or set up.
Just weird.
Your family is right. This man has no ethics, no shame, and no consideration for you. You've tried the kind route (finding rentals, supporting him) and it has gotten you nowhere. He is an adult by any measure. Please leave.
I think you lacked compassion for his very stressful situation he’s in. You’re tired…. You’re a mom, this is normal, get over it. I’m only hearing your side and I see you only care about your own problems. This makes me sad, he apologized immediately after so it seems you’re the one that has anger issues and a selfish mindset.
Yes. Same with my partner
That's cute
Break up with him. Boundaries need to be respected. There is someone out there who will stop those things for you because they care about you. I would definitely have a problem with this and I have been in your shoes. I always say the follow button and the like button mean “I like what I see and I want you to know that” it doesn’t matter if they think it’s not cheating, YOU feel disrespected. It’s cheating to you, he’s compl dismissing you and you deserve better.
So comparing yourselves to others? If you are both happy I don't see what the problem is.
You're just as much of an AH as she is.
You don't actually care that she's a cheater, by all means the guy deserves to know but stop acting like you're doing this out of the goodness of your heart or whatever.
You're mad at her because you're nothing special and she was using you for sex the way she uses him for money; so in turn you're simply seeking revenge by ratting her out.
I bet you're gonna lie and act like you didn't know she was taken.
FYI; people who knowingly sleep with taken people are as equally in the wrong as the cheater themselves. You are your own separate AH and you're in no way innocent here.
You’re a special kind of asshole lol
Nope, this is a deal breaker and a sign of things to come.
If he made an agreement and was clear on the terms of this relationship then he just violated them.
Wow that's some petty right there.
There are eleventy-billion legitimate reasons a bride and groom can't invite everyone they'd like to. You knew 50 people there and they 'made the cut'? You have no idea why; but you are quick to think the worse. And yes you are clearly punishing them.
The most generous way for you to 'take' the fact that you didn't 'make the cut' is to not assume it's personal.
If you like these people (both individually and as the warm fuzzies you could have over hosting the party where they met) then set aside your WAAH over the wedding and invite them.
Of course, be small-minded about it if you want. But it's a bad look, as many of your friends are pointing out. Completely up to you!
Make plans and go out with your friends.
You need to break up and become happy, and let her be happy. This with bread resentments from both sides
Geez. I think you should be happy your husband is comfortable enough to be open about what he likes. I think your fear while slightly understandable is overblown. But in the end you should do what you are comfortable with.
So you comforted the “best friend” by cheating on your wife too, then agreeing to lie about it? Classy.
What a wonderful spouse and friend your wife has.
But boundaries are not about what will not upset the other person. Some of us grew up with this sense that we have to bend over backwards for people just to be loved, to be kept, to not be alone. But that's not right. That's not fulfilling, it causes more problems.
Adult protective services!!
I was hoping someone could give me advice on how long was too long to wait for that information, or perhaps how to ease his anxieties after having had some bad shit done to him. Clearly no one is interested in being actually helpful, however. They're just spamming “gee, that's unusual, HE'S GOING TO MURDER YOU” as if I'm an idiot who hasn't considered and dismissed that possibility. He has nothing to gain from catfishing me, since I'm broke and we're not currently doing much sex stuff. I'll demand to learn his last name before I come to see him–which I will do sooner rather than later, we've agreed–so the jig will be up eventually. And if he has a criminal background he can't be a lawyer, so that's not a charade he could put up for very long.
if she blames the addiction she'll have to at least partially blame herself. if she can blame the person who didn't help the addiction, she can absolve herself.
I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this on top of your sister's death.
“im sorry I only date guys with protruding nipples. It's just not going to work. You are super nice, but weak nippled guys can't handle me.”
Could be, she's in a terrible position and rightfully scared. I agree It's a complex and difficult situation
There was a post on reddit about Valentine’s Day where the woman told her boyfriend what she wanted and he didn’t deliver on any of it so she was upset. All the commenters told her she was a psycho, high maintenance etc and shouldn’t be demanding gifts.
I guarantee if she had been “subtle” she would have been blamed for not being direct
Women – especially on reddit – can’t win.
Call the police and have him removed
This is when you make an appointment for marriage counseling upon his return. Between his forgetfulness and the poor communication between you both disaster looms on the horizon unless you seek help.
I’m not saying it’s unhealthy. Read the last paragraph to know my question.
You should play the reverse on him and go on a full day's workout, get that kitty stinky, and when it's hanky panky time, have him to eat you out. ?
Bet he will shower after. Just be as nasty as he is and see how he likes it.
Um no fucking way. Don't apologise. I can say this would 100% be a dealbreaker for me. Your husband is a pig.
Have you've gotten your sisters advice? Theyd probably know your situation better than anyone online.
Ah, I see!
Yeah you’re right. That was petty of me. We’re technically already broken up.
It was just the fact that she had been lying to me about it for months, and twisting it on me and calling me crazy when I was suspicious. I want to move forward and repair things, but I also want her to own up big time.
Petty way to go about it, but I honestly wanted her to respond to the comments with something along the lines of “I’m sorry, but I’m not doing that anymore” or something along those lines.
Instead I got a “wow”
But is it common for them to wait till their husband is post op or in the hospital to go out and party behind their wife’s back?
No you can't trust her. Also, don't keep an addicts secret a lie, I'm in recovery myself. The fact that she cares more about that, then being honest and checking herself into treatment shows you she is in denial and not remorseful.
Unfortunately substance use issues are nude to cure, even harder when a person wants to be secretive about it and not do real recovery.
Maybe – but the open marriage wasn't Sami's idea and she isn't even happy about it. She would much rather have monogamy with a faithful husband, but that isn't in the cards in her current marriage.
That is a relationship that will never be fixed so don't even try. You might have to come to the conclusion that you will not be seeing your parents in your country again because if you go over there by yourself I don't see you ever returning.
How long did you date before marriage?
Idk when I was young (I'm about to be 35yrs old) I used to go to raves in the next state, I went to clubs in another state (my state doesn't have raves or clubs) and did bar crawls with my friends. Then I got with my husband. He was never into parties, clubs, or bars. He didn't feel comfortable with me doing those activities because it can be unsafe special because I would be 8-9hrs away.
We found a compromise that worked for both of us. I didn't go to things out of state anymore. And honestly grew out of the bar scene here. I will sometimes meet a few friends at a cocktail bar but that is maybe 3xs a year. I also am always home by midnight. I feel like he was more important then me going out special since I know I wasn't going to be doing it for life. I didn't want to be the 50yr old trying to keep up with 21yr olds.
If going out late (staying out until 6am is late) all the time is more important then the whole relationship then he isn't the one for her. He is also on his 30's he has probably grown out of the party stage of life or maybe even never saw it as important. They are in different stages of life.
You aren't a match OP. Right away he was disrespectful and called you a slur. He has his porn and you have yours, but he knows what he lacks in your relationship but chooses to just be selfish.
I wouldn't stay with a person like this and we all know it's BS that he friends had something to say about it. Your bf thought it's a point in this argument and he will be on top.
OP just break it off and find someone that wants you for you and can match your needs on your levels, as you can do for them.
You need to understand that your current bf is not your past bfs. If he's not doing anything to make you paranoid, then stop dwelling on it. Learn to tell your brain that all of these fears that you have are fabrications in your mind. Tell yourself you're going to trust him. Whatever your exes did is not indicative of what your current will do. He sounds like a great guy. If you truly believe that, then keep telling yourself that.
These unresolved issues might be something worth going to therapy for. If you're mental health is struggling, it's never a bad idea to accept help.
Oh my bad i understood that diff.
He thinks you are masculine and want to dominate the relationship
might be a little to late for that
It is not only about your interests. It also shows things based on the interests of people you are connected to. When my sister was pregnant, my discovery page was full of pregnancy-related accounts.
To be sure, check his comments, likes and follow lists.
How does this convo come up 5 years into a relationship?
She owes confidentiality to what her friends tell her in confidence.
Men's and women's communication patterns are different, in case you haven't noticed. Women are much more likely to have close and confiding friendships than are men.
So in short, this difference is normal. Whether it's “healthy” involves a value judgment, which I'm not about to make. Let's just say vive la difference!
This is shady AF! Can you hire a PI? Not meeting any family member is really suspicious.
Updateme!
How did the wedding get scheduled on the day of your graduation? Like, he had to know when picking the date that you were graduating that spring. Why didn't he plan around that?
That's an absolutely brilliant way of looking at the mean voices. I really like that tbh. It makes them appear less serious and mentally daunting. I'll have to give it a try!
Well, thank you, that's very kind of you to say. Haha, my sister keeps pestering me to do one-eyed cosplay since she's really big into it. I told her, “I wouldn't even know where to begin to find a laser pointer prosthetic eye prop if I wanted to.” My whole family now is in on her schemes of finding this elusive prosthetic. It helps joking around about it because, secretly, I do kind of feel like a cool nerd imagining myself with it on, haha. My wife said that we should tape the cats laser pointer toy to my eye. It was a silly attempt and we had a good laugh.
You're pretty badass too if you ask me.
Comment Rule 1: All comments must be on topic and focus on the OP, in good faith. Derailing arguments, fights, and moral whataboutism is not allowed. Advice given must be good, ethical advice. Remember, the goal is to help your fellow human.