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make me happy [98 tokens remaining]
Date: October 27, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
make me happy [98 tokens remaining]
Thank you for your insight. Admittedly, I am still trying to wrap my head around cptsd, and the astonishingly over reactive nature of folks afflicted by it. Probably won’t win me any favors but I have someone in my life who is very close to me, and also suffers from cptsd and prior trauma. Most of the time I do my best to keep mindful of it, but every now and again their disproportionate responses and communication style make me lose it. In those moments all I can think is why the hell do I need this in my life. And before you call me selfish, please consider that there is a whole life layer shared between this person and I, and in all other aspects I’ve been as generous as one can be. There is a very hot line, due to my own childhood issues – don’t raise your voice at me. I can hear you when you speak. I can’t / won’t hear a single word once you start yelling. Seemed to me like a reasonable expectation. Apparently, it isn’t. And frankly, if that’s a direct symptom of cptsd, if it is inextricable, then my only options to avoid getting yelled at would be to either (a) tiptoe on eggshells, constantly being worried about saying the wrong thing, or (b) leave. Both make me unhappy, but one is infinitely worse than the other. Damn. I think I just did the very thing that I hate about others – I just totally made this thing about me. Sorry about that. Must be a really bothersome issue. As to my previous post, please consider the part where I specifically stated how I had no intention of invalidating anyone’s psychological and emotional state, how her issues could easily be making sense. That said, if you were to look at it from a rational perspective, you’d also easily see how putting it all together would raise some eyebrows
Why on earth would you compromise on that?
Sex is supposed to be a partnership. It sounds like he's shaming you all over again.
He's not mature enough to deal with this situation. Break up and go to a therapist to find out why you're putting up with this.
Tf
If I were you I would move back home, cut contact with your fiancée, and move on. This includes focusing on prioritizing your mental and physical health, school, and work. You can do this.
Agree with the other comments. A Hail Mary gesture is just a distraction that she will probably take as a sign that you still aren’t taking her concerns seriously. Instead, I would present her with a list (and the receipts) of everything you’re doing to address her concerns (e.g., going to therapy 1x/week, taking antidepressants, exercising, eating well, sleeping well, journaling, meditating, etc.). If you aren’t already doing those things (or whatever specific things your care team recommends), then you aren’t taking her or your mental health seriously.
The bottom line is she doesn’t want to have a child with someone whose going to need more help himself than he can provide as a co-parent. Kids are a ton of work and will likely exacerbate existing untreated mental illness. Your wife is right to insist that you take care of yourself before wanting to have a family together.
Yeah, it sucks.
Your parents need to mind their own fucking business.
sorry if i didn’t explain this properly but i don’t bring it up anymore. i apologized multiple times after the snap then stopped talking about it as a whole. but yes he did say that, that he hasn’t forgotten the feeling & how it doesn’t hurt any less. which i totally get. otherwise, we are perfectly fine in the relationship- when it isn’t brought up.
I get it. I was having a conversation with a bakery worker the other day. I told him there was a fertilizer shortage, and he says, “Oh, I assume because of the war with Ukraine and Russia supply has been disrupted.”
I didn't have to explain anything about geopolitics, supply lines, or chemistry. It was nice.
She often has a dichotomous thinking, lots of stupid logical fallacies, naive thinking
To be real honest with you, this also describes every smart person I've ever met lol. I keep a mental list of all the recent dumb shit I have done and tell my friends. we have a laugh about it, and if my ego ever gets too big, they have a lot of ammo to deflate it.
As for your relationship, I think you two should break up. You don't sound fulfilled, and you're hiding bits of yourself to keep this thing going. That's not healthy. Couples don't have to share all their interests, but they should be able to share some of them.