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Juan, 27 y.o.
Location: Spain
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Date: October 23, 2022
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Try to hold on to choosing to not go through with it. That counts for something. Not trying to applause you for what you did, but I believe in growth and learning from mistakes and not going through plus wanting to tell your husband seem like good steps for that.
Coming from a guy, please don’t go back. The guy has issues that are deeper than anything you can fix or should have to deal with. Find someone better.
have yall talked about this? almost seems like he could be sleep talking if its so infrequent
If she really doesn't wanna do it, then you got no choice but to accept that. You can't force her to do anything, at beat that's coercive control, at worst that's sexual assault/rape.
It sounds like she really just doesn't want to do it. So either accept that, or find someone who doesn't mind.
Because you love him, it’s natural. But knowing he will do it again, is this something your willing to continue dealing with repeatedly? Recovering from that stuff can be very hot, but it’s doable. If you decided to give him a chance again, I’d start with him needing to be a lot more strict on maybe even telling him he needs to give up alcohol for a bit until he can better control himself. If he’s unwilling to do that, then I’d leave for your own sake.
Trust your intuition.
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That is incredibly selfish of you.
This exactly. You stuck him in your hoarder mom's house, u have a temper. You expect him to want to clean ur moms nasty ass house and deal with your mouth as well. Woman to woman… u bugging mama. Most men don't wanna clean their own mess why would they care about ur moms house??? He's running for his life
You will never forget what you go through when you’re pregnant. Especially to THIS degree. Your husband took another woman’s word over yours and you were pregnant!
Co parenting is way better than the kid growing up in a home full of resentment because they feel it too.
Spruce : A product of two toxic parents who stayed together “for me.”
He at least tells me he is so it's all I can really go off. I never get the vibes he's unhappy until now
Cut them all from your life.
Less problems to deal with when people who create problems are gone.
Have you look into yourself and try to understand what made you do it?. Imagine if it wasnt a scam, you would have cheated for sure rn.
Internally, out of your own volition, what actions have you done to make sure you dont be tempted to do that again?. Im not talking about on-line, what if you are on a trip or at a bar and a woman propositioned you for sex?. How do you know that you will not take the plunge?. This is internal. Its within you. If you dont solve it, next time you are going to fall.
I mean your Mom isn't necessarily wrong, she's offering up solutions. Nothing wrong with getting to know your cousins more…. Nothing wrong with catching up with old friends.
More importantly what are you doing about it Ms. Pity party? Do you go out and talk to people? Do you participate in hobbies outside of your home? Did you look at the social events and activities your university offers?
It's fraustrating, but you kinda haven to make it a point to be sociable as an adult to make friends.
Wow thank you
More importantly, you are married to a man that is commiting petty crimes for a reason he won't share. He has been doing this since he was young. Also, it is very common for criminals to escalate. If he's doing it for a thrill, and the thrill wears off, what's next?
I realized some things
This was the point I was expecting you to say you realized your husband does not love you the way a husband loves a wife. Because he literally told you that. But no, you're blaming yourself?
You will never come first. Any future kids with him will never come first. What is this man giving you that keeps you there? Are you his pet SAHW while he provides you a nice lifestyle? Because call it what it is. This isn't love.
I realized some things
This was the point I was expecting you to say you realized your husband does not love you the way a husband loves a wife. Because he literally told you that. But no, you're blaming yourself?
You will never come first. Any future kids with him will never come first. What is this man giving you that keeps you there? Are you his pet SAHW while he provides you a nice lifestyle? Because call it what it is. This isn't love.
Yeah she's toxic, cut her off, no other options, you're having this kind of trouble in a long distance relationship so imagine the headache you'll have to go through once the distance is reduced, she's extremely insecure and bit too possessive about you which isn't nice, you're not a commodity to be owned, you're a person that has a life apart from your girlfriend and for that matter even your friends, break up with her that's the only option
I would get a court order dna test so if he is paying child support for him that it can be deducted from his withholding. Also a test for the other child as well.