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Date: October 10, 2022
AmateurPub
I would not want my significant other to have any feelings at all for any ex. If my wife needed another man’s approval he can have her. She probably needs therapy. Probably has some ptsd from abuse or she still loves him.
Exactly
And you were not embarrassed OP. You took a shot. Don’t worry about it. Move on. You were courageous. Better to take a shot than wonder the rest of your life.
Good on you.
Facts
See, that's the thing about therapists. Sometimes it takes a while to find the right one. If she's more upset after seeing her therapist, that's generally a sign that said therapist is not a good fit.
I'd say start with asking how she feels about her therapist. If she answers hesitantly, bring up the option of looking for a new one.
And yes, it is okay to say “Honey, I love you but I am not in the right mental space to handle this right now.” That's called having healthy boundaries. How she reacts to that will tell you a lot about her as a person. Remember, someone else's mental health is only your responsibility if they are a child and you are their parent.
The text seems WAY too formal, and while you are tiptoeing around her emotions and boundaries, it still sounds really pushy and really needy.
I’m my opinion, you be better going with something more along the lines of
Hey, . I’m sorry for everything I’ve put you through. I messed up and I’m not always the best at communicating like the adult that you deserve to have in your life. Changed behavior is the best apology and you deserve nothing less. I hope you give me an opportunity to show you just how sorry I am. Take all the time you need.
But from how she’s acting, and how you’ve described your interactions these last few days/weeks, it sounds like the relationship is over. When a woman with any amount of self respect gets to where you girl is at now, she rarely goes back. She’s not like to revisit what sounds like a toxic, and exhausting relationship.
Be prepared for the relationship to be over.
If you send the text I drafted, PLEASE actually make some changes. Examine yourself and fix what you recognize to be shitty behavior.
Actually give her space. Crowding a woman will only push her away even further.
Read #1 again.
Good luck OP.
There's absolutely nothing positive that could come from telling your wife about this
My wife knowing the bullshit I'm dealing with alone is reason enough I'd be telling her. But also, she's gonna find out eventually.