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Joey Joe Joe, 38 y.o.
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On-line Live Sex Chat rooms Joey Joe Joe
Date: October 10, 2022
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I'm going to start with a hypothetical here because there are many people who will try to twist the real issue to suit their political ideologies and THAT IS NOT THE ISSUE:
If it were my deeply held belief that ginger redheads steal souls and I would never sleep with a redhead because of this, might even think it's a sin under my religion to do so, and you know that it's a good possibility that I might have this belief, and you're a redhead but dye your hair brunette without disclosing it to me in order to have sex with me without disclosing that to me because you “know” I'm wrong, then you also have committed rape by deception. You did not get my informed consent to sex, because you deceived me.
The same goes for not disclosing that you're trans. You already KNOW for a fact that a large part of the population does not believe that if you are born with XY chromosomes and were male presenting, yet had surgery and hormones to become female presenting and live as a woman, you are then a woman. As well, you know that if you have had successful surgery, taken the hormones, and live! as and successfully present yourself as a woman, most people would have no reason to believe you have ever been anything but a biological woman. You also KNOW for a fact that a large part of the population would not choose to have a relationship with a trans person because of this, by their deeply held belief, they view you as a biological male, whether you agree with them or not (THAT IS NOT WHAT THIS DISCUSSION IS ABOUT THOUGH). You do NOT have the right to violate their consent regardless of whether you think they're transphobic or not. That IS rape by deception.
Also, if you are trans, you also know that the surgeries, and the hormones, have a myriad of lifelong consequences for you and your health. These will affect yourself and your partner. These are also things that your partner should know about going into things, but are less relevant for hookups.
OP, your girlfriend committed rape by deception. Even if you would have been OK dating a trans person, your girlfriend would have still needed to disclose this before anything sexual ever happened. This is why you are feeling weird about things. Your consent was violated. This is a REALLY big deal. You will never be able to have biological children with this person. You will never be able to trust this person not to lie to you.
I understand you. It's a hot time and I hope you she didn't isolate you from friends so you have support. You need it.
try to detach yourself emotionally from her, play the role of the husband who tries to fix it to stall for time. In the meantime put everything in order so she can't take your kids out of the country.
You're hurting and that is completely understandable and correct, but you will suffer more if you don't take action now. Over time you will lose either through manipulation from her side or she takes action.
Take control of your life back try to focus on that to make you feel better