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Jessibonnie Public Chat Channel
Date: November 8, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
Jessibonnie Public Chat Channel
Don't marry someone when you've only dated 5 months and most of that time has been long distance. You need to see what a person is like during all seasons, and definitely don't move in with this guy.
This is how abusers get control. I'm not saying your bf is an abuser, but I know someone who got engaged after 4 months and she thought everything was great. He had a great job and even their pastor gave the thumbs up. He turned out to be physically abusive and admitted he rushed the marriage so he could control her. The moral of the story is don't rush. You're young and you have plenty of time.
Five months is way too soon and the age gap here is concerning. Run.
Well, at least you still have the ex you defended…
We see posts like this one more often from women who complain that men don’t text them back soon enough. So this is more of a human thing than a man thing or a woman thing. Some people are just needy when it comes to communication. You have a different style of communication and different needs than this guy who complained you hadn’t texted him back quickly enough. If it were me, I’d write back to him, “No, it’s not disrespectful. I was simply busy. If you need instant responses to texts all the time, then I’m probably not the person for you. Best of luck.”
No, men just fetishise us, assume we’re promiscuous and reduce a part of who we intrinsically are down to “cool, threesomes!!”
. It took me three years to realize he slowly drove her mad. Thank god I had a tight-knit group of friends that could point out what was happening. I stepped back for a year emotionally to gauge if what they said was true and sure as hell that man was trying to make me crazy. The good ones are so subtle about it. And he wasn't mean or trying to do it. It was just his nature.
You’re 18, youre long distance, your partner only contributes to the relationship if her mother agrees…
About to be harsh: don’t make this relationship to be more than it is, it barely exists at all. You’re too young to be putting up with this mess. Break up and move on. If you think you would benefit from therapy, seek it for yourself. You can’t force anyone to put in effort. You can only move on for yourself.
Short answer, no couples therapy doesn’t make sense…. The entire relationship doesn’t make sense.
I hated these kids in school.. they haven’t grown out of it. Gross. It boils down to weird sex stuff… people who were like this young scared me
This doesn't sound good on the surface. Sounds like a step backwards. But, it also sounds like a solution that was born out of frustration (quick and not fully thought out).
There may be a better way for that boundary to be drawn. My advice is to immediately follow the new boundary, but then also show her how much of a pain in the ass it would be for both of you. Don't be obnoxious and over do it. In other words, don't increase the amount you'd give affection. Keep it as close to “normal” as possible. Even at a normal level, asking for permission every time would be annoying (I would think). Also, pay attention to her responses, body language and facial expressions. If you see any hint of displeasure, inquire about it. Ask if there is a better rule of thumb or a better way to for that boundary to be drawn. “So I've been doing this thing for a week now, and I see that my asking is frustrating you. Do you think we could make a more general boundary that isn't so annoying to both of us?”
Additionally, I don't feel like a rule like this is sustainable for the long haul without also making a habit. She's gotta understand that switching from blanket consent to “ask every time” will be difficult and yer going to fuck it up at first.
It sounds to me that something isn't being communicated. You both need to be hyper honest and forthcoming with information/feelings.
Practicing the rule she already set and paying attention to her reactions and noticing/remembering the times when she says no or expresses displeasure, may teach you when she feels it's appropriate for that affection type. Once you have more awareness and learn her better, there may not be a need for that rule anymore. Or, you'll figure out that you aren't compatible.
What the fuck?
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Your husband had already made his position clear. If you contact them behind his back you'll literally be choosing the family of his dead ex over him. It WILL destroy your marriage. Promise.
It really doesn't matter if it's right or not. Ask yourself: do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy? Because in this case, you can't be both. If you deliver rose to them, he will leave you.
I would break up with the gf before blocking the friend. It honestly sounds like she’s overreacting and like she’s using the situation with her parents to manipulate you into someone who has been good to you for half a decade. She also seems really controlling with the having to read texts thing. And this is before you’ve even been together a year.
Honestly as much as you love her much or what you write sounds like the early stages of emotional abuse or a toxic relationship – stuff that seems understandable at first but will probably end up very badly.
Emily did nothing wrong to warrant being blocked. You did and said some kind of insensitive things, but not to warrant the degree she’s taking it.
I think I’m entitled to at least that
This is the BIG problem. You aren't entitled to anything.
At all.
She broke up with you. She no longer owes you anything. She's tried to ease out of your life, but you were clingy. She was ready to move on and leave you in her past. She's done. Leave her alone
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What is wrong with the way things are now ? It sounds like you pay child support and see him as much as you can ? I don't think she should have to move away from her support system and his …. Is it just your family who think things need to change or is it you or is it your baby mama ?
I married my first boyfriend and I know I am in the minority.
I am always genuinely confused why sex drives have to match in an otherwise great relationship. I have a virtually non-existent sex drive and my fiance has a very high drive. I accommodate him and have sex 2-3 times a day on the days we see each other. I could go a year without sex and not feel like I need it but he is like a teenage boy. I have no issue doing it for him. I enjoy it too, it just isn't a need for me. As long as one person doesn't mind accommodating the other (which OP doesn't seem to mind) then it can absolutely work.
I get the sensation that there is no girl here, it's just “Eric” posting about himself, and how people see him for the avenger lone wolf, but he is so sweet and poetic in his rant
Well, do you think she'd be thinking it's “NBD” to get drunk and have your knob sucked off you by some lad? At least it wasn't a woman, like.
She cheated, regardless of the sex of the affair partner. That's why you feel emasculated. My advice is the advice I'd give any of my friends, you deserve better than some fuckhead who cheats on you.
Tell him to smarten up. You're worried about the relationship with your dad, but just keep blowing off the obvious reason it's awkward and strained, which is that your bf was acting like a doofus.
Cool, cool. What a super great reason to bring an entirely new person into this word. When your kid asks why you had them, I hope you tell them “I didn't want you, but your father was being pushy so we had sex, IDK.”
If he takes time to work on himself and puts effort into that, trying to learn to be a better person, then you could judge later. Now is too soon. It is your choice if you want to maintain any kind of friendship.
That said, people generally don't change because you want them to; they have to want it for themselves. Until he realizes that and tries to improve himself, he won't behave any differently in a relationship.
Their behavior undercuts this position entirely.
He does not owe your parents an explanation of his life choices and goals.
If you think your parents should be this involved in your relationship, you are far too immature to be considering marriage at all.
And, to answer your question, no, it is not fair for your parents to expect this or to bully this poor young man into submission.
Because you refuse to set healthy boundaries.
Building good working relationships with your foreman is still important. It’s the best way to get the easiest tasks on a job site. And you never know when you’re going to work with somebody again in that field. I think it’s unfair for you to criticize your boyfriend for a decision he decided on his break while he’s at work. The workday is shitty enough without having to come home to your nagging girlfriend because he didn’t eat what you made. He’ll eat it later. get over it.
I know you are right. It’s so nude, I love him so much
You could have had the same accident with the same outcome if you'd have driven a car, the motorcycle was not a factor in the accident or the outcome.
Even with the same actions by BandageBob here, it’s quite likely the other driver involved would have reacted differently to seeing a car vs a motorcycle. So no, you can’t just say the accident would have been exactly the same.
I would tell a friend of hers, that you're planning on proposing this year or this summer. Then let the friend give her a hint so she has peace of mind on a timeline. And gives you some flexibility on the exact month/s.
Don't say anything about the ring logistics and issues – communication is key in most situations, but with this scenario it kind of ruins the romance of a proposal.
If you're very anxious to propose, propose with an alternative ring and after she says yes, then explain the logistical nightmare you've been dealing with.
TBH I dont think your bf and dad relationship will work.
I'm not from the US, so maybe it's a cultural difference, but I honestly don't understand why your boyfriend took that route. Let me see if I understand the conversation correctly: your boyfriend mentions that 2016 was an excellent year for him, your father mentions that it was not so good for him because of the police murders, your boyfriend instead of letting the subject go or simply nodding decides to do a comment empathizing with the killer? It was literally your boyfriend who chose to hint at his political position instead of taking the safer route of nodding or keeping quiet to just get along with his FIL.
I would recommend that you just don't bring your boyfriend over to your house for a while and let things cool down. On the other hand, I think the smartest thing to do is to tell your boyfriend to save his comments that empathize with police killers or the like when he is talking to your father, it is not very difficult to stay silent or just nod to get along with the father of your girlfriend.
Regarding your father, I don't have any advice, but if I were you, I'd be a little annoyed by the lightness with which your boyfriend justified the murder of random policemen, since your father could have been one.
You’ve been together for four months and guys are trying to go through each others phone. This is not a healthy relationship and kind of immature TBH.
Lmao I’m younger than her and I find it funny lmao what was he even thinking entertaining someone so young lol.
he said I could have it. Now he’s saying that he said that out of niceness and I should’ve known to not take him seriously
That's absolutely manipulative cr*p, don't put up with it, dump the boyfriend, keep the cats.
Yes. Because fathers have never molested their children…
Why are you asking permission, does he pay your bills? Is he your parent? Landlord? Boss? No, no, no, and no. You do not need his permission to live your life the way you want to on-line it.
Your partner has repeatedly said inappropriate and rude comments to her and you are acting like it’s news to you that she’s sick of his shit? Yeah, bs. He’s clearly inappropriate and judgmental. I’m also guessing most of his opinions have been given unsolicited.
Girlllll. Bffr. Reread your post. MURDER???? Run.
I really hope that isn’t true 🙁 He says he loves having sex with them.
She said he would refuse to wear condoms. So that either means sex without or no sex.
That’s fair, I suppose I should correct that
People are acting like SEPARATED automatically means someone is working on their marriage
In this case in particular…OP is very obviously the other woman / they’re pretty obviously together etc
People do and say things to get what they want. He obviously wants sex from you. If he tells you he is not interested in being serious with you, how does that help him get what he wants?
The better, or to be quite clear, best solution is to end your romantic relationship. If you’re being honest, your relationship largely operates as a platonic friendship anyway, so if you’re able to handle that, do that.
That may very well not work, but how is your proposal sustainable? You’re agreeing to be in a relationship in name only. There’s no sex and you’re unhappy. How is that better?
As shitty as it is to tell you, it just sometimes goes like this especially when you’re below 25. In college I went in a date with a girl I liked, and she deadass started making out with her ex at a bar we went to towards the end where he ended up being at. Some people are just fucking dicks and the best thing you can do is accept it and move on. Plenty of people are not like that.
If the genders were swapped, my advice would be similar, but not the same. You're right about that. Men and women are different? Shocking news to be sure.
But cheaters cover their deeds by asking heavily for non monogamy.
Everyone’s relationships develop at different paces. If this is how they like it, that’s fine. No reason it can’t work out.
Looking at your username, I think you may be projecting just a little bit.
Are you 15? You’re old enough to know better. He will not change. Gather some dignity and love yourself enough to not go back to him. You can (hopefully) do better.