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Jenny, y.o.
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Date: December 25, 2022
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Move back.
It looks like divorce and shared custody of his 2 children. His wife is making a unilateral decision to have her rapist's baby. OP doesn't have to accept it.
Good call on the waiting. I was taught this formula at the beginning of the century, so they may have refined it by now, but what I was told was that getting over someone you dated takes about half as long as the time you spent dating them. In your case that's half a year; in your best friend's case that's 2 years; neither of those amounts of time have passed yet. And while we can get into technicalities and specifics — for instance, I know a woman who dated a guy for 3 years but was ready to dump him after one, and therefore was over him before they broke up — the point I'm trying to make continues to be true: if you dated him now, it's very possible it would be a rebound. There's also the possibility that, as you correctly identified, it could be that you're less attracted to him and more attracted to having the emotional support he provides. The simple fact is that, because you're both beset with grief, it can be difficult for either of you to actually know the contents of your own hearts. That's not a criticism, that's just a statement of fact.
If you went for it right now, could it work out? …well, yeah! It absolutely could! But if you went for it right now, simply put, you'd be stacking the deck against your own success. And I think dating is hot enough without putting obstacles in your own way.
So what I would do is… continue to wait. Get over your ex, let your best friend get over his, and then when he independently starts showing indications that he's ready to date again, you can swoop in and be first in line. You'll probably be the first to know, after all. =)