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JeffandRachel Public Chat Channel
Date: October 31, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
JeffandRachel Public Chat Channel
I don't necessarily think age has to be a factor in couple's therapy. But I also don't think it's necessary in your situation. Therapy isn't going to fix her mom's influence on her.
When you asked your partner if they're emotionally ready, what was the response?
Regardless, since you brought it up, I do logically think long distance won't work for you. My opinion on long distance in general aside, your relationship alone is simply proving that. Long distance relationships are inherently difficult. Adding in the influence of parents and you're unfortunately fighting an unwinnable battle. Good luck.
thank you
i just wanna figure this shit out in a way that makes us both happy.
Okay, I hear what you’re saying. I won’t ask him to buy a heater. But I do wonder, is it reasonable to walk around indoors in your boxers in the wintertime?
I hear you OP. You aren’t holding back supporting your step son even tho the marriage may not last but she is not willing to support your kid.
Therapy, it's going to take both time and conscious effort to work through any issues
The wording was bad yeah i was tired after a long day. I meant of course just try to make her like me as one does in the talking stage.
more excuses for why your cheating is fine but hers is so terrible. Maybe go check out the cake eater sub?
Why do need to be equal in earning power? Do you belive that if you fix your home and do a traditional role to some extent , you aren't equal? Do you think it's tit for tat?
I would say the problem isnt your physical appearance. I see people that are not that attractive find people. My guess would be your attitude in general towards your situation. Think about it this way, based on what you wrote you want someone to materialize out of nowhere and just love you unconditionally. Love takes time, and you get time of potential suitors by being either attractive or interesting enough that people want to know more. By not making an effort in your appearance regardless of your genetics, you handicap yourself. By having a negative attitude and depressed mood, you push people away. My guess would be all the different therapists said things you didnt want to hear and you keep changing therapists because you are shopping for an answer you arent hearing.
She's not your friend. Dump her. She wants your “hot” boyfriend, and wanted to show him what he's missing by being with you.
Please don’t try to change the color of your skin just because some people don’t like it. These people that are saying anything negative about it are people you do not need in your life.
You don’t have a MIL problem, you have a boyfriend problem. He should be putting a stop to this stuff. Him being “supportive” and acknowledging that his mom is being a wench is not enough. He needs to actually DO something about it.
My (ex) husband’s family was very enmeshed. It drove me nuts. The drop bys, the expectations of frequent get togethers, the opinions, the judgment (because I worked outside the home)…I had to set some boundaries and the first boundary I set was with him.
We didn’t divorce because of his family. But I was so tired of the bullshit that the Xmas before we divorced, our sewer backed up into our basement and I sent him and his kids on over to be with his family while I VOLUNTARILY stayed home to clean up RAW SEWAGE.
Dealt with that crap for nearly 10 years. Hindsight being what it is, I’d tell you not to get engaged or married until this—and any other issues—are resolved. You shouldn’t be starting a marriage with big issues on the table.
Cheating is a betrayal of trust. The cheating is not discussing it prior. That’s why I say, they need to reset to total transparency.
Are you serious lmao?
If he is stupid enough to keep sending you money then keep taking it. And give the money to people who need it like homeless single mothers.
I'd consider this a breach of trust and grounds for a breakup, yes.
Dude is messing with your head, Op.
He does stuff to find one of your buttons. Then he pushes that button like a crack head looking to score. You get upset and he jumps on you. He's wrong and he knows he's wrong but one of your buttons is him refusing to apologize so he doesn't. He likes pushing your buttons so he claims you aren't calm (enough) which is pushing your buttons.
He is deliberately messing with you, Op.
I would get the he11 out.
Get what moving?
Degraded isn’t aggressive
What's the average rent that you two would be renting? He can pay half of that and half of the utilities.
It was all an act to trap you and now he's working you down to manipulate and control you. Bail now!
She was trying to make him jealous by being all over the other guy, and it worked.
She's cheating. Her downward spiral is in process and she will crash and burn with you in the relationship or without you. If you leave, you will avoid getting splashed by all the shit that will be thrown around when she crashes.
When you break up, and you absolutely need to, her problems are no longer your problems. If she makes threats like “I'll kill myself if you leave”, you call the police and tell her your ex is threatening to harm herself. Either she's really going to do it, and the police can detain her, turn her over to a psychiatric facility and she'll get help, or she's doing it for attention and having the cops show up will make it clear it didn't work.
Don’t do it. Marrying someone for a visa comes with huge responsibilities. You will be financially responsible for her and so much more.
Yes, poorly timed jokes can absolutely ruin relationships.
I’m noticing I’m not very good at recognizing when I’m being taken advantage of through these comments, but i really do have to draw the line on this :/
Based on your post and comments OP, you don’t seem to like or respect your fiancé in any way. So why are you engaged to her?
Only explanation to me is that it is difficult to find that brand or that product. So he went for it. Not that weird.
If you want to be “cruel” or pay her back “in kind”: leave her on read.
Wow, what a shit show this is. You actually wrote this out:
“ Also, she is willing to share her location with me permanently, she is willing to unfollow anyone I ask her to, she is willing to remove anyone I ask her to remove (IG or Snap), her Snapchat is always her curving guys now, she will not wear something when she goes out if I tell her not to wear it, she DIDN'T join a sorority because I said I would not date her if she did (I am not in a fraternity), she is willing to hang out with me multiple days of the week-and on a going out night, she always lets me fuck her.”
You are acting possessive, petty and like a colossal asshole. I hope you grow up and she is 100% going to leave you, rightfully.
He definitely is not versed in how to talk without hurting others feelings and using stereotypes.
However, if I had to save his ass, I’d say that it’s not that he doesn’t like your personality but that your personality doesn’t match with the fantasy of being submissive.
Please don’t read too much more. Talk to him about understanding why what he said was hurtful, but don’t think you have to change your personality one iota.
Right. I dont see any support here.
Game over. You saw who he is when he gets frustrated. He doesn’t have communication skills and he lashes out with ad hominem attack.
Now he goes into the “he has potential” bucket. Are you a project manager, because he is a project.
Theres a lot of weird holes -why would you marry someone just because they're having your kid.And you seemingly still want to marry her? -If you were that drunk you may have been date raped that seems like a bigger deal than youre making it – at no point did you request a dna test? – You still bought the ring for your ex
You move forward by moving out.
You did everything right but we just cant predict a bait n switch. All we can do is say goodbye